Though hospitals were not places gang leaders often went, we had no choice more than once recently. When Sapphire had collapsed, Misha had started CPR an instant later, and though taking her to a hospital was risky, we had no other options and the hurried call Kody made to Raya had confirmed that the hospital would be ready and made as safe and can be.
But I didn’t have high hopes for anything. Sapphire was dead. I knew she was dead the second she shut her eyes, and my brother hadn’t stopped fucking trying to save her.
He was desperate, and that desperation didn’t come from nothing.
It came from death.
Our girl had been lain down over the backseat, Price holding her tight and begging her to come back as my brother worked tirelessly to save her. I drove faster than I had ever driven before, through streets I barely knew, listening to Beau’s barkeddirections from the seat beside me as he, for the first time since I had met him, didn’t pretend he wasn’t sad.
He had tears streaming down his face, and that only fuelled my thoughts.
Sapphire had died. She had fucking died, and we were racing with a corpse.
There was a long line of people outside the hospital when I almost crashed into the parking lot. Ambulances everywhere. Really, it ought to have taken a few minutes at the bare minimum to see someone. But just like Raya had promised, we were being waited for, and we hadn’t even stopped the car fully when the doctors came running and took our girl away from us.
We didn’t get asked questions about our guns, or the state of us. We didn’t get told to leave, or sign in, or wait in the public waiting room. We were taken to a private suite. We were offered drinks, and sympathy and wary glances from all the staff. Nobody dared approach Beau. Even when he started trashing the room we waited in until Aiden forced him to calm down enough to stand still.
Nobody said shit when Beau eventually grabbed a nearby doctor, yanking him by the coat, up against the wall, as he promised that if Sapphire died, he would slaughter everyone in the building. It wasn’t their fault whatever happened, but I wanted to help him. I wanted to kill people and smash things and whatever else Beau did.
Panic and chaos filled the air, creating a complete shitshow of pointless and loud bullshit that I knew was futile because it wouldn’t make a difference – I couldn’t see it changing anything… no matter how much I begged or pleaded, or even fucking prayed.
I knew what was coming before the doctor came out to us, seeking out Beau with a solemn face and a look in his eyes that promised nothing good.
“Mr Montana?” He said, and I stopped listening properly for a bit.
My girl was pronounced dead a bit before the sun rose and I hated the fact I had made it to a sunrise without her.
I also hated the fact that because I had to keep my brother alive and safe, I would be forced to live many more, despite not wanting to do so.
Even worse was the fact because those seconds after the doctors’ admission confirmed something to me I hadn’t thought I would have ever admitted, least of all, to Sapphire fucking Montana.
I loved her and wanted to be with her. Marry her. Have kids with her. I wanted to spend the rest of our lives in utter fucking bliss.
I loved her, and she would never get to hear me say it for real because I’d always skirted around the words like a coward, not wanting her to hear them from me if she ever left me behind.
Now I just wished I’d told her. Even if she had left me.
At least she could have left me knowing the truth.
Chapter Fourteen
The doctor in the fancy white coat had come out of surgery to stare at me a little too hard for my liking. His dark face had screwed up in concern, as though I hadn’t been listening to a word he said and honestly, I hadn’t. I didn’t give a fuck about anything he said beyond a single sentence.
He had come out to the private room I waited in, with far too many people around me in various states of shock, confusion, and distress.
“Mr Montana?” He had said, with his fancy English accent as he’d pushed his big black-framed glasses up his nose a bit.
My voice had been rough as I’d replied, “Yeah?”
“Your daughter flatlined on the table and we couldn’t get a pulse. CPR was administered, but she didn’t respond to it, and she was declared legally dead.”
The world had turned even darker than it had been before and there was a single moment of sheer terror and silence – not even breathing – from everything single bastard present.
I’d felt Ruby grab my hand, squeezing it hard enough to break. I hadn’t given a shit that a woman was touching me. Not in the slightest.
I’d felt Aiden put his hand on my shoulder, trying to offer me comfort I would never truly feel.
I’d felt my heart break, life end, and everything else in the world become entirely pointless.
