“I’m not just going to sit here while you do the dishes,” I argue.
“I don’t need you to do the dishes, hopeless,” he says, flipping on the water and filling the sink. “Just keep me company.”
Giving in, I take my time looking around the kitchen as Theo picks up a plate and starts washing it.
The kitchen isn’t what I would have expected from a man living alone. The white cabinets are beautiful against the butcher block countertops, but it’s the little things that make it a home that surprise me the most. Like the chicken egg timer on the stove. A coffee mug sitting beside the sink that’s clearly a favorite. And a picture of a much younger Tanner taped to the window above the sink. That’s the onethat snags my attention.
Theo notices me staring at it and dries his hand, gently prying it from the window. He stares at it briefly, softly taking it in, before handing it to me.
In the picture, Tanner is staring at the person behind the camera, a toothy baby grin on his face. Even at a young age, he looks a lot like Theo.
“He was one in that picture. It was just before Josephine left. The last time my life felt normal. I used to rush home after work every day just to see that smile, and after he was gone—when I couldn’t see him—I’d sit at home staring at that picture until my eyes burned.”
My fingers trace over Tanner’s baby face. “Did you ever tell Tanner about what really happened back then?”
Theo shakes his head, picking up another plate and scrubbing it a little harder than necessary.
“Why not?”
The muscle in his jaw twitches. “Because even after everything, Josephine is still his mom.”
It’s that simple for him. Josephine is Tanner’s mom, and because of that, he will never do anything that would put her in a bad light even though she never gave him the same courtesy. And that one admission says more about him than anything else.
“You’re a good man, Theo Sylvis.”
His hands still, and his head slowly rises to look up at me.
“I’m not, but I’m trying to be.”
We hold each other’s gaze, saying more with our silence than we could ever say aloud. A clock ticks somewhere in the background, and eventually, Theo sighs, breaking our gaze and turning around so his back rests against the sink. He kicks his feet out in front of him, crossing them at the ankle and tucking his arms over his chest.
“I just want to do right by Tanner—be a better man than I was theday before—but some people don’t like when you get better. Do better. And Josephine is one of those people. I think she’s terrified I’ll outdo her even though parenting has never been a competition in my mind.”
He blows out a breath, exhaustion weighing heavy against his shoulders.
“I know Josephine is Tanner’s mom, and you’re trying to protect that relationship for Tanner—but have you ever thought that Tanner doesn’t need protection? Maybe he just wants you to talk to him—to be honest with your struggles—because otherwise, he will never understand you.”
Theo cocks a brow. “When did you get so smart?”
It’s the type of question meant to lighten the mood, and I should let it, but instead, I say, “I guess you learn a thing or two when you become the parent at six years old.”
To his credit, Theo’s reaction is only a slow blink of his lashes. He doesn’t act surprised or grill me with questions. He just leaves space for me to speak if and when I finally want to, and I find myself wanting to. I’ve never wanted to share my story with anyone, but with Theo, I do.
“My mom—isn’t like you. She never wanted to get better, but growing up, I would have done anything to understand her.” I look down, staring at where my legs dangle off the counter. I’ve never admitted that to anyone. My walls are down, and that’s terrifying. “I guess all I’m trying to say is that maybe your kid wants you to let him in.”
I end my confession lamely with a shrug and a roll of my neck, but a hand falls against my leg, and I look up to see Theo studying me. He tilts his head and swallows, the muscle in his throat moving up and down.
“Thank you for lettingmein,” he whispers, his voice scraping along my skin, leaving goosebumps in its path. My gaze falls to his mouth,and the memory of what it felt like on mine is overwhelming enough that I clear my throat and sit up straight.
“Anyway,” I say, desperate to escape to put that kiss out of my mind. “Plenty of people see how hard you’re trying, Theo.”
It’s a poor attempt to get this conversation back on track—to get my mind off that kiss. My hand falls to his arm—two magnets being pulled together. Even though I know I shouldn’t, the need to touch him, even in the simplest of ways, overrides my common sense. His hand covers mine, his fingers playing with my knuckles. It’s the closest thing to connection I’ve ever felt.
“Maybe,” he says, watching his thumb run from my knuckle to the tip of my finger. “But is it the right people? The people who will determine my fate at the end of the summer? Because if it’s not, then I could lose Tanner all over again. I’ve been trying so hard to prove myself settled—worthy—but it doesn’t feel like enough. I need something more. Something to show I’ll stay.”
A slow smile spreads over my face. “I have an idea.”
Chapter 29
