I shut the door behind me and ran to my new beautiful car. I was still wearing my sundress, but I’d brushed my teeth, reapplied my lip gloss and gave my hair another brush.
This was happening. It was now or never. My stomach was in a knot and I had no idea how this was going to work, but Nick would take care of everything, I was sure of it.
I just had to get to him.
Ten minutes later, I pulled up next to the sidewalk in front of his garage. Actually, I might have been on the sidewalk,if that bump was any indication, but I think given the super momentous occasion I could be given a pass for bad parking.
The shop was closed of course, both large garage bay doors were locked down, but his apartment was above the garage. In the back there was a set of stairs that ran up to a landing where we would often hang out on chairs in the summer and people watch the tourists in the town square.
I got to the top of the landing and did a quick check of the streets. It had to be close to midnight, so everything was empty. Not that anyone would think it was strange that I was at Nick’s place, but the late hour might cause a few people to raise their eyebrows.
Or maybe that was just my paranoia.
“Breathe in, breathe out,” I told myself, trying to calm my heart rate. I smoothed my hair down a few times and knocked.
Nothing.
I knocked again. A little harder this time.
Behind the door I could hear the heavy thump of footfalls. The light outside the door went on and I stood, back straight and chest out.
This is happening. Don’t pass out.
Nick opened the door, wearing a pair of sweatpants and no shirt. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen him shirtless. We hung out at the beach and surfed together all the time, but for some reason it felt different.
Grown up.
I saw that chest and the size of it and the sprinkling of dark hair across it and the ridge and swell of muscles in his arms. I felt myself get breathless.
I felt myself get…wet.
“Nor?”
“Hey,” I said, “I have this whole speech planned and I need to get it out and so just let me. Okay?” I was talking too loud and too fast, but I was barely holding on.
“Nora, what the-” He glanced behind him and shut the door a little so I couldn’t see his dark couch or the big screen tv in his living room.
“No,” I said, holding up my hands to cut him off. “If I don’t say all this I think I’ll probably die, so just hear me out.”
My soul left my body and I stood there shaking and so wildly in love I felt sick to my stomach.
“I love you,” I blurted. “You know that. We know that. We’ve always just…loved each other. It’s just there. Like air and water. And…love.”
Oh no, I was repeating myself. That wasn’t the speech.Ugh! I’m messing this up, already.
“And I know I was too young,” I said, getting back on track. His eyes opened so wide I could see the whites around his pupils. Like I was alarming him. He was alarmed.Oh God, just…get to the point, Nora.
“But I’m an adult now. I’m not too young. And I’m going off to school, but I’m coming back. I’ll always come back. To you.”
“Nora,” he whispered. “What are you doing?”
“Making a mess of things,” I said, with like the craziest laugh that’s ever been laughed. “What I’m trying to say is…before I go, I want it to be you.”
“Me…what?” he asked, like he was scared.
“It can only be you,” I said. “I mean, seriously, did you think I was going to let Brett Jenkins take my virginity? Not happening. And since, in the end, it will be us, together - just like Roy and Vanessa, and Birdie and Antony - I wanted to start with you. I’m eighteen now. Totally legal, so no worries there.”
“Nor,” he barked. “Stop talking.”
