The others of the crew would enjoy the amenities of the station while they were here, doing a couple tasks for Tanin to help in upgrading the ship at the same time, but Sway had already volunteered to stay onboard. Someone had to supervise the upgrades they were getting. Since Sway in particular had to be here when the new subspace generator crystals were installed to do the calculations to get them calibrated, he might as well stay the entire time. Let the rest of the crew enjoy themselves.
And he didn't really feel comfortable out amongst crowds and attractions, away from the work he needed to numb his thoughts, so it was just better to be here.
“Are you sure you don’t want to trade halfway through?” Garnet asked not for the first time, her pretty face scrunched up with guilt. “Tanin and I can watch the ship for a while too. Give you a chance to get out and see the station. Have some fun.”
Sway smiled at her, genuinely touched by her kindness. She was generous, and she looked after the crew with a good heart.“I’ll be fine, Garnet. I really will. Thank you though. You two are newly mated anyway. You should enjoy your time together. I will be happy to watch the ship.”
It was going to be miserable. The ship would be fully powered down while upgrades were being performed. Which meant that Sway would have absolutely nothing to do to take his mind off of his own thoughts and memories during those times. With the others gone, and Alred concealed in his core so that no one figured out he was here, the ship would be unnervingly quiet.
But it was a misery that he was already resigned to experiencing. He would not be any better off on the station. At least on the ship, he could sneak into the medbay and steal some sedatives if the thoughts and feelings became too overwhelming.
He didn’t do it often, but sometimes, even if he worked himself to exhaustion, he would begin having nightmares that wouldn’t actually let him rest. He’d end up staying awake so long, he would become a danger to himself and the ship. Using the sedatives to make himself blackout wasn’t the best option, as the sleep wasn’t that much better, but at least it helped.
The upgrade shouldn’t take that long. And when repair crews weren’t working, he could get his own subspace math practice in. He could even download learning modules to do while the systems were offline. It was better than nothing.
There was a lot of work to be done on the ship. It was going to take days to complete. They were getting new crystals for their subspace generator, improving the shielding all over the ship, and replacing the old life support system with a new, more reliable version. All of which was incredibly expensive, but necessary.
Even more so now.
The females were delicate. Their newest crew members needed more consideration than the rest of them. And while Sway didn’t mind being uncomfortable, or even outright in pain, he didn’t want to subject the females to that.
Their inadequate shielding had already made them sick in the past. They were just lucky that the life support hadn’t cut out again, as it had a few times before the two of them arrived. They had survived; but there was a chance the females wouldn’t. Making certain they had space suits for them was one of the first things they did, just in case. The upgrades to prevent outages were next. They simply couldn’t allow such things to happen again. Not to the human females. And especially not to Garnet who now carried the captain’s youngling.
That wasn’t the only reason though. Tanin was a great male, and Sway was happy, relieved, to be following him. Proud, even. As were the others, he knew. Any mate of his would deserve their respect for that, even without considering the youngling in her belly.
But Garnet also took care of them. She cleaned Sway’s space, she made sure Vytln ate, she nurtured Rok. She was a comforting, pleasant presence unlike any they had known before. It was almost like Sway was around his own mother again. Something so distant in his past, he didn’t even remember her face or voice. But he knew the feeling, he could remember that very clearly, and that was what Garnet evoked in him as she fretted over his and the others’ wellbeing.
And Goldie as well. Garnet’s twin sister might not act like a mother to them, but she was working in the medbay now, learning how to use the mediring and the medicines within. She wasn’t an expert yet, but Sway could not condemn her for that when he didn’t think he counted as an expert in his field either.Certainly not when he first joined the crew. She could heal minor injuries and illnesses, and she was actively learning more. Her presence alone would have been an invaluable addition.
Those two were their weakest crew members, but they were the most precious. Sway wasn’t the only one who thought so either. While some of the others wouldn’t admit it, he knew that all of them shared the same feelings. The twins, Sorbet and Tebros, were protective over them. Rok looked out for them. Trove respected them. Even Vytln, for as taciturn and unfriendly as he was, treated them nicely – well, nicely for him.
They were so important now. The fact that males like them, Rik-Vane Station scum, could even be around such sweet females was itself a miracle. One that they were all careful to cradle and care for to the best of their abilities.
For that reason, the upgrades were incredibly important. Things that they had been delaying or didn’t seem all that pressing before were suddenly vital because it could affect those two.
Was this what normal people were like? Was this how a male was supposed to feel? This sense of accomplishment and pride in taking care of a female. Even if she wasn’t his, they were females that relied on his support. Something that they all provided in their own ways. A touch of softness and normalcy that they had gained by abandoning Rik-Vane, their old identities, their old ways, and becoming a delivery company.
Humble Delivery Company. A name Tanin chose because he wanted to make sure no one would consider them a threat. They specialized in delivering dangerous things to dangerous places for a large fee. And their crew of seven – eight, if you counted the twins as two separate people, which they themselvesdid not – were experts at dealing with anything dangerous. Thanks to living on Rik-Vane, deliveries were almost too easy in comparison.
Yes, they had come a long way. From a band of criminals and murderers gathered and forced to work together to a well-established, profitable company that was even able to enjoy the presence of females in their space.
So, why was it the memories of that place still assaulted Sway so deeply? Why did he return there every night in the most horrible, banal ways possible? Why, though he hadn’t killed or harmed a person in years, did he still feel soterribleabout himself? Why did he sometimes still smell blood on his feathers? Why could he hear their screams and dying breaths in the silence? Why couldn’t he sleep at night?
Why did he still feel like such a monster?
“Docking permission has been granted,” Alred said, sharply ripping Sway from the thoughts that were plaguing him. “We’re to make our way to docking bay eleven. There will be guidelights directing us in, and a member of Uver Prime will be contacting us shortly to go through everything we need to do. Sway, Tanin said he can leave that to you since you will be doing all the supervision of the upgrades while we’re there.”
“That’s fine,” Sway said, fixing a smile on his face as he focused back on the small light form. “Are you heading into your core yet?”
“No. I’ll wait until we’re just about to dock, but before they can connect. I’m setting up all the instructions for the ship’s AI to follow right now, so you won’t need to do anything but navigate the ship itself.”
“Thank you.”
Alred grinned at him, his new smile wide, before he winked out of existence, leaving Sway to look through the docking instructions Uver Prime sent over.
Alred was a technologically based person, but he was, in fact, still a person. Calling him an AI would not be entirely accurate, as he was not fully artificial. He was a recall. The recorded and recalled memories of what had once been a biological person from a species long extinct. There were many of his kind left – undroitt recalls. But for one of them to perform as an AI in the way Alred was doing required special permission that they, the Humble Delivery Service, simply didn’t have.
For that reason, Alred hid himself whenever there were strangers around the ship. If they were there temporarily, he would behave like a real AI, acting more artificial than sapient. However, since the ship would be undergoing upgrades, he was going to retreat from the ship entirely and lock himself in his hidden core so he couldn’t be detected.
