Sway was a farasie. Not only were his people obligate herbivores, but they were also, quite famously, a fully pacifistic species. There were no great wars in his people’s history. Sway was rather sure that’s why the Master liked him as an assistant. He was perverting Sway’s nature by forcing him to harm other people in such brutal ways. It was the sort of thing the Master would find enjoyable. It was something Sway had learned to live with, because he had no other choice
But now, he was being offered a chance to finally wash his hands of blood, to be the farasie he should have been…
Did that…
Was that something he…
This guy, Tanin, gave him a grin. “I’m getting out of here. I’m living a free life. I’m going to survive. I promise you that. And I’m giving you the opportunity to do the same. I give you my word that you can live your life however you desire. Obey my orders, and I will give you back your identity, Eefwan the Pacifist.”
***
Sway came awake with a short gasp, his entire body tensed. Ready for a fight. Even now, after all these years, he automatically reached for the metal claws he once kept at his hip. Claws that weren’t there. Claws that hadn’t been there in a long, long time.
The vestiges of the dream clung tight to his consciousness; it took him a moment to remember where he was. To recall that he was no longer on Rik-Vane, no longer in the Master’s lab, his feathers no longer stained with the scent of blood and death.
Sway let out a shuddered breath, his muscles all easing at once, slumping him back in his chair. He wouldn’t say he was relaxed. The disquiet that haunted his soul remained, as it ever was, a constant companion keeping him from such a thing as relaxation. But he at least knew he was safe at home in the bridge of the starship Humility.
Sway’s birth name continued to ring in his ears as he lifted his head again, straightening his back with a groan, the bones all popping as he did so.
He’d fallen asleep in his chair at the navigator’s panel again. He had a bed, one that was certainly more comfortable than this seat, but he didn't like using it. If he laid down, if he stopped moving, all the doubts and shame and guilt that haunted him had free reign to assault his psyche.
Sway was free. He was finally living as a pacifist, in the way all his instincts should demand. But it wasn’t the peace he had always hoped it would be. If anything, he was more haunted now than he had been on Rik-Vane. The quiet stillness of the night only made it worse.
No. He preferred to work until he passed out in his chair. At least he actuallygotsome sleep then. It wasn’t always restful, however. And the nightmares weren’t uncommon. Not of his own suffering. Not even of the suffering he caused others. It was banal how simple the nightmares were. Just the simple fact of living on Rik-Vane, of hearing that name, was enough of a burden on his soul.
It had been years since Sway had been on Rik-Vane. Years since anyone had called him Eefwan. Longer still since the last time he’d set foot in the Master’s lab. Yet, the memories still clungto his mind. Refusing to let go. They were a tumor infesting his heart and soul.
The death, the screams, the agony, the torture – not an inconsiderable amount of which was his own. The weight of that place pressed down on him like he was still there. And it was a horror to him just how close Rik-Vane still felt to his back.
The sound of movement from behind made him turn. And wince. His muscles and bones complaining at moving after too long slumped over and stiff.
He wasn’t alone in the bridge. Garnet, his captain’s human mate, was moving quietly around the space, cleaning up after him. Her little cleaning machine bot, Spot – she named it for some reason – obediently hummed along after her.
Because of her, the bridge was no longer the mess it used to be. It shamed Sway, but he never really picked up after himself. He’d eat packaged food, or molt his feathers, or leave dishes wherever. Not even really thinking about it as his attention was on the subspace math he needed to do in order to keep their ship moving.
Cleaning wasn’t high on Sway’s priority list. It was a task that required no thought, which meant doing it left room for the bad thoughts to return. So, he just didn’t. Honestly, trash was not the worst thing he’d ever found himself knee deep in.
That being said, he was grateful Garnet had taken up the chore.
The captain’s mate was a delight to have onboard, truthfully. It had been a long time since Sway enjoyed the company of a female, and even longer since he had been in the company of one not trying to kill or use him. Garnet, and her twin Goldie, were sweet, innocent things. Precious things. Females that had neverknown the dark stain that was Rik-Vane. It was rather strange having them here.
But not unpleasant. Not at all.
The captain mated Garnet a short time ago, and now both human females were here to stay. They were part of the crew. Along with Sway and the other males Tanin had come to on Rik-Vane, offering a mad promise of survival and a chance at freedom.
Yes, the females were a very strange addition to their lives. But probably the best one since they’d left that void cursed station.
Garnet turned, catching sight of him. Her smile widened. She was a pretty thing, with auburn hair she kept in a messy tie behind her head. Unlike her sister, she dressed simply, always ready for the dirty task of cleaning the Humility.
Her smile was certainly a nice thing to drive away the lingering claws his memories had on his brain.
“Morning,” she chirped brightly.
“Is it?” He asked, giving her a soft smile in return. He genuinely didn’t know the time.
“No, but you’re just getting up, so it might as well be. Did I wake you? Sorry about that.”
“No, you didn't,” he assured her. And that was the truth. The benefit of working until he passed out was that he slept very hard. A dangerous habit if he had still been on Rik-Vane. Sleeping deeply was a great way to find your throat cut by an even half decent sneak.
