That being said, however, he couldn’t say that he felt any guilt for what he did either. He’d vowed to behave more like a proper farasie male and embrace true pacifism when he joined with Tanin. A vow he’d kept up for years now. Hoping that maybe, in doing so, he could reclaim himself. Despite the weight of that choice on his mind, he’d kept to that vow no matter what.
So, why, when he looked at Grace – pretty, perfect, and prim Grace – did he get the sudden, choking, evil urge to hold herdown? To see her beg and cry. To feel her thrashing under him. He didn't want to hurt her, but he wanted to drive her wild. He wanted her to be so overwhelmed with pleasure, she pleaded with him to stop. Then, he wanted to ignore her and give her more anyway.
He wanted to take all that sweet perfection and destroy it. To break her. To hold her as she cried from ecstasy and shuddered from overstimulation.
And the very thought made that disquiet he always felt eating at his soul grow stronger.
He was working hard even now to maintain his polite, calm facade. It was a battle he knew himself to be winning, because it was one he had a lot of practice with. Admittedly, he had mastered that skill shielding his disgust and displeasure from the Master, but he knew he had, in fact, mastered it.
Though his thoughts were consumed by this pretty little human, nothing of it would show on his face. No matter how his belly churned and tightened, how his cock throbbed and threatened to extrude, how his heart pounded with jealous envy over a female that wasn’t his, he knew that none of it would be evident.
He only had to get through this meeting. After that, he wouldn’t have to see her again until the end. She wasn’t going to be the one doing the repairs. He supposed he could end this meeting now, but the captain and his new mate rarely had time alone together. Their mating itself had been interrupted. He couldn’t request they come back just because he was a weak piece of scat.
Through the years, his sexual desires had been so banked, his body only reacting physiologically, he had become certain that they simply didn't exist for him. And he had been fine with that.
Not only were they not banked, but they were connected to those bad thoughts he was always trying to avoid.
Grace was working so diligently. Completely oblivious to the thoughts infesting his brain. Her lips moved ever so slightly as she talked under her breath, figuring out numbers and a work plan. He could only sit there, pretending like he wasn’t imagining shoving her over the desk, tying her legs to each corner, her wrists to the floor, forcing her to be open and vulnerable to him. A vulnerability that he would immediately take advantage of by fucking each of her holes until she was leaking him from every orifice. He could spank her ass, he thought as well. Strike her human flesh just to watch it jiggle until it was vibrant red in the way of humans, and all the more sensitive because of it.
Sway didn't have much interest in sex in the past, but he wasn’t a virgin. He tried to avoid violence when he could, even before they escaped Rik-Vane. But it was an evil, lawless place where only the strong survived and nothing was given for free. Since Sway wouldn’t fight, sometimes, that meant he had to fuck to get his way. Females, males, and a few in between – he hadn’t cared. His cock barely responded anyway, so it hardly mattered who he fucked or who fucked him. It wasn’t about desire on his part, merely transaction.
That just meant his depraved mind had plenty of experiences to draw upon, making his fantasies even more realistic. All the ways he could claim Grace. All the ways he could please and torment her.
He wanted to ruin her. He wanted to own her.
She was so pretty. So delicate. So lovely. He wanted her broken. He wanted her to cry and beg him for release, but he wantedto then give it to her and see her awash in pleasure. Then, he wanted to polish her back to perfection, just to ruin her again.
It was a strange combination of feelings. One he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with. So, for now, he did nothing and only worked on keeping his polite, smiling façade in place.
“Just a moment,” Grace was saying, swiping quickly on the holodisplay, completely oblivious to the storm infecting his mind. “I think I’ve got this almost done. I just need to check one more thing.”
Sway’s jaw was tight with the effort of keeping himself calm on the surface. He had to force these thoughts from his mind. He wasn’t going to do anything to her. They’d finish this meeting, he’d walk away, and he wouldn’t see her ever again. She only had to lead and coordinate. He only had to calibrate the new subspace crystals when they were installed. They never had to cross paths again.
She never had to know the things he’d just imagined about her. Or how his abdomen was cramping with the effort it took to keep his cock from extruding. Or how close she was, right now, to a monster.
He just had to get through this meeting. He could figure out how to deal with this sudden obsession he had for her. Once she was safely away from him.
“Okay!” She chirped brightly, moving one of the displays with a swipe of her fingers so she could look him in the eyes. “I think I’ve got a good plan for you. Ready to hear it?”
“Ready,” he said, smiling at her peacefully. A long life of controlling his reactions, not allowing anything he was feeling to show on his face, kept his expression unchanging.
“So, when you connected to the station, we automatically began to run diagnostics. That comes at no charge to you, and it is pretty in depth. It allows us to see any glaring problems that you might not know you have. But, actually, despite everything I saw, your ship is running rather well.”
Sway inclined his head. He wasn’t surprised. Everything they had was cheap, secondhand, and prone to breaking, but Vytln was a superb mechanic. He had practically rebuilt everything on that ship, to the point of casting his own parts when necessary. He used the heat of the engine to power a forge that he built for himself in his workroom.
Their captain made great choices when it came to recruiting them. Vytln, in particular, was probably one of his best. They definitely wouldn’t have made it this far if he hadn’t been there.
“So, this is the price of the full suite of subspace crystals,” Grace continued, showing him a breakdown of the proposed repairs and upgrades. “Engine shielding upgrade. Subspace shielding, this one is for the machine itself, and this one is for the ship. This here is a subspace generator repair, to try to fix… all of that. It’s cheaper than a full replacement, but given the state of the generator, I feel it’s necessary. Though, of course, you can take off anything you want. This entire section here is the life support system replacements. And this charge here is for the food synthesizer. This price is the total for all the changes you asked for.
“However, if you look at this list over here, it includes all of those changes, plus a few more things. The engine can be serviced for actually a fairly good price. Given all the upgrades you’d be buying, I can get you a discount on that. This here is a cleaning service, giving us permission to do a deep clean of all the public areas. So, that gets rid of the body stain and the twoheaded beast stain, but it wouldn’t touch your privy since that’s private, so that would get to remain haunted.”
She sent Sway a smile, the two of them sharing in the little joke he had made to cover for his crew.
“You’re going to clean up our crime scene?” Sway asked, grinning back at her.
“Well, I can’t let the peacekeepers haul you in yet. We’ve only just met,” she giggled, giving him a teasing look. Completely unaware that they were joking about a literal crime scene.
Completely unaware that the crew of the Humble Delivery Service were a group of barely reformed criminals. That the body shaped stain came, in fact, from a body. All that remained of a male that threatened their crew, their ship, and their freedom, then paid the price for it.
