But Goldie wasn’t like an undroitt female anyway – the only kind he would have touched before. So, did it even matter if he remembered what they felt like? Not when that’s not how she would feel.
It didn’t matter anyway. Though he had recalled the memories of sensations like touch and taste and smell, he couldn’t actually recall what theyfeltlike. He knew, intellectually, the difference between cold and hot, soft and hard, wet and dry, but he couldn’t remember it. He hadn’t had a body in so long, he couldn’t force his circuits to recall sensations anymore.
So, he could only hypothesize what it would be like to touch Goldie. To feel her under his hands. She must be soft. The human females were known for that. For smelling pleasant, for tasting amazing. They were a sexual species.
But the undroitt recalls were not. Alred didn’t have the capability of feeling sexual desire anymore. He may retain his male identity, but he didn’t actually possess any of the parts or even the ability to feel attraction in that way.
He couldn’t use that as an excuse for why he was so enthralled with her. He just was. And it was the most frustrating thing he’d experienced in all his recalls.
To be right beside her but as untouchable as the light form she held in her hand. Sensors so precisely attuned and calibrated, he could calculate the pressure of the blood he could see thrumming through her many pulse points, but unable to caress that skin or touch the vital thrumming. He could measure her temperature at any spot on her body, but he couldn’t feel her heat.
She was within him, she held the bulk of his not inconsiderable attention, and the most he could do was use his light form to be near her and know neither of them could feel it.
She set him down. Though he was just light, she actually brought him to her console. He obligingly had it step off and turn, smiling up at her as she stood and stretched. Her arms went over her head, and he calculated the angle her back bent in the other direction this time.
Sudden change in vitals: Rok. Heart rate rapidly accelerating. Respiratory rate rapidly accelerating. Sending alert to his combot… Rok waking. Vitals returning to baseline.
“Goldie,” he called to her as she came out of her stretch.
“Yes?” She smiled at him.
“I went through my memories. My original ones. Those I could recall anyway.”
She blinked, then beamed, heart pounding just a bit harder in excitement. “You did? What did you find?”
“Well, I found my original body. I’ve been reprogramming my light form settings all day. I’ve got it all set now.”
“Really?” She gasped, bouncing. “Can I see?”
Alred laughed. She was happy. He knew she would be. He couldn’t touch her, he couldn’t even remember what it would be like to feel her. But he could still make her happy. It was enough. It had to be enough.
“I was hoping you would ask. Are you ready?”
“Yes!” She squealed, clapping. “Let me see!”
“Alright! One…” He banished his mini-light form. Turned off the program entirely and reloaded it with the new skin he had prepared. A body created from the fragments he could remember of what he used to look like.
“Two…”
She was looking at the console, but he wanted her to see him in full form, so he created a shimmer in the air ahead of her. Directing her attention there instead. She immediately looked that way, taking a step towards him.
“Three!”
He projected the light form. Though he knew what it would look like, it was still the first time he’d actually seen it. But he was still more focused on Goldie. On the way she gasped. On the raw, stunned appreciation in her gaze. He hoped she’d like it.
For the first time in thousands of years, the original Alred, as he had once been, stood there. He held out its arms, letting her get a good look at it.
About the only thing it had in common with his basic light form was that he had two legs and two arms on a torso with one head. But it was bigger than his light form had depicted, stockier in the arms and thighs especially. Its legs were digitigrade, ending in paws instead of feet. It also had a tail, long and luxuriously furred. It matched the mane of hair on its head that was similarly long and sleek, though the hair on its head came to a deep point on its forehead, leading into its rather flat and blocky nose. It didn’t have a true muzzle, not like some other species, but its jaw was definitely more squared than Goldie’s.
It also had four eyes now, two forward, and two placed more on the side of its head, which would have once given him a much broader range of view when he was in that body. Its larger jaw made room for the large fangs hidden behind its lips. He also had fur on his forearms and thighs – and he was rather proud of those features as they were considered masculine and attractive among his kind. Or they had been once, back when he had been biological.
It had claws on its hands that were short and tough, meant for climbing and digging primarily, but certainly couldn’t be discounted as weapons. Its ears also weren’t on the side of its head anymore, but more towards the top. And they were triangular now, less human shaped, with little tufts of fur coming off the tips.
His light form remained yellow – that singular, basic color continuing to define him. He’d also chosen to keep the light form neutered instead of adding the sac and sheath that would have once hidden his cock from view. It seemed the females would be more comfortable with that. It’s not like he had a purpose for it being there anyway.
Goldie was impressed enough as it was. She marveled at his new light form, circling it in amazement as he swished its tail for her. She laughed.
“This is you?” She asked, beaming as she came to a halt in front of the light form again.
