“Why? You really ask me that? Knowing all of our pasts?”
“Wasn’t the whole point of leaving Rik-Vane the chance to give everyone a normal life? Well, as normal as any of us could have.”
“No.”
“No?” Alred repeated incredulously, walking around to stand in front of him. Finally cutting off his line of sight to the lift. Alred’s yellow light form was transparent, but Tanin still focused on his featureless face, jaw tightening.
“No,” he repeated. “The point of leaving Rik-Vane was to give us a chance at living. We were all going to die there. Probably sooner than most of us would admit. I got us out because I thought we had the best chance of surviving out here.”
“Part of living, captain, is the living part. You would think you biological creatures would know the difference between being alive and living. No one on Rik-Vane gets the luxury of the latter. Except for us. Except for those of us that chose to follow you out. Living, captain, involves seeking out joy and peace and happiness. Why do you think everyone was so willing to let those females stay aboard? Do you think they’re that desperate to see a pretty face? No. It is because having females around – happy, peaceful, joyful females – is somethingnormal. It’s something regular people get to have. Something that they’ve never had. That you have never had.”
“None of the others have ever said anything about mating before.”
“Of course, not. They follow your lead. We all agreed to follow you, Tanin. To see where your ambition would take us. And it has brought us here. We are out of Rik-Vane. We have normal lives now. Names that aren’t stained with blood and death. Futures that hold promise and hope. You are still fighting like there is something threatening to drag us back. You’re still tense like you’re waiting for it all to be ripped away again. But them? The others? They’re calming down. They’re learning to relax. Rok can sleep at night now without screaming. The twins holdconversationswith people. Trove doesn’t cut himself anymore. Even me! I finally get to live and taste freedom. Because of you. You have brought us all here. You have led us this far. They’re seeing you around her and they are hoping for something they’ve never dared hope for before. A female. Younglings. Alife.”
Tanin’s eyes were closed. Face tense. Jaw clenched.
Angry, because Alred was right. And Tanin had never considered it that way.
His crew were all males from different spots on Rik-Vane. He had chosen them all after careful consideration for a number of factors. Not everyone wanted out of Rik-Vane. Even among those who did, not all of them could actually handle life outside of that place. Most importantly, not everyone could be trusted to follow and obey his rules.
He needed those males and their skills to get out for himself. But they had put their trust in him to lead the way. And they were still trusting him.
He hadn’t considered that. He just knew that the others enjoyed the females. And who wouldn’t? A female was excellent company. They were soft and sweet and delicate. A male didn’t need much when there was a happy female in his life. Look at all the improvements Garnet had made thus far, that he hadn’t even asked her to do!
Now, they saw him with her, and it was giving them ideas. New hopes. New futures. He was leading them down another route. Like how he brought them out. Like how he forged this business, directed its movements, settled them safely on the Humility. He gave them a home, and in it they found safety.
And now, they were seeing what else he could bring them.
“A starship is no home for a female,” he said at long last.
Alred chuckled. “Don’t you think that decision is best left for the female?”
“They don’t know what they’re asking for.”
“I think you’re the one who doesn’t know what she’s asking for.”
Tanin glowered at him. “You’re speaking awfully sagely for someone who has no cock or interest in females. Or evenknowsany females.”
“Thisrecall hasn’t made the acquaintance of many females,” he corrected. “But just as I still consider myself male, other recalls also still keep to their gender identity. So, I’ve known lots of females in my many recalls. And females, regardless of if they are biological or technical or hypothetical, will go wherever they please, regardless of what a male has to say about it. It’s not our job to choose where they make their den, it’s our job to protect it so that it becomes safe regardless of external factors. That is what it means to be anormalmale.”
Tanin crossed his arms, glaring at his old companion. Alred might not have a face – or even a real, physical body – but Tanin could still read him. No matter how technical or artificial he might be, Alred was still a person with thoughts and feelings and desires. He wasn’t just a computer program that was obeying orders. Like everyone else on this ship, he had his own reasons for being here.
And his own plans for the future.
“What are you plotting, Alred?”
“Many things. One of the advantages of being a computer is I can run many more thought processes at one time than you weak, single-minded flesh creatures.”
“And what plots are you putting all that artificial power towards?” Tanin cocked his head back when Alred didn’t answer him. “Do you see something in your future that you hope I lead you to?”
“I wouldn’t say that…”
“But you are thinking it.”
Alred said nothing. His body flickering ever so slightly.
“Why do you want me to follow my interest in Garnet?”
