Garnet opened her mouth, then hesitated. Because she didn’t know. Wasn’t that an argument she made at one point? They didn’t even know if any of their life on Earth had been preserved because they had no idea when they last paid rent. And that logic also applied to the last time she’d received the birth control shot.
“Oh, shit…”
Goldie let out a long breath. “Garnet, you don’t think things through. You’re impulsive. I love you, but you see things you want, and you make a snap decision without completely thinking about all the consequences. But this is something you can’t do that with. Mating is serious business. Imagine he just said he wanted a surgery to fuse you two together at the hip for life. Because that’s basically what’s happening here. You can’t undo this decision. You can’t take it back.”
Garnet lowered her gaze. Ashamed of herself.
Because Goldie was right. Like when she asked to stay in space. She hadn’t considered Goldie’s feelings or future at all in that decision. When she decided to seduce and sleep with Tanin, she hadn’t considered her own future. And when he asked to dance for her, she hadn’t considered that it might mean more than just a fun little performance.
“Can you see if I’m pregnant?” She asked, voice a broken whisper.
Goldie shook her head. “No. You wouldn’t even be pregnant yet. You need at least a few days on this machine. I think. I can’t be sure. I don’t know how to do it. Even if the machine can see it that early, it would take way more skill than I possess to get to that fine of detail.”
Garnet said nothing. Gnawing her bottom lip. Once again, considering the true breadth of the consequences of her actions onlyaftershe did the thing.
Goldie let out a sigh, coming around the console. Approaching her side. She took Garnet’s hand and held it gently, giving her a smile.
“Do youwantto be with him?”
Garnet hesitated. Only because she wasn’t sure what the right answer was. She knew what she wanted, but making snap decisions clearly wasn’t her strong suit.
“Don’t overthink it,” Goldie chuckled. “Do you want to be with him, yes or no?”
“I… yes…” She admitted on a quiet whisper. “He’s so great, Goldie. Look at all that he’s done. Look how far he’s taken himself! Do you know how bad the place he came from was? And this is where he’s at now. He came from nothing. Less than nothing. And now he has a whole ass spaceship and a crew that he saved and… andus! He saved us too. Can you imagine what kind of person you have to be to do all that? How strong he is? How incredible?! Who wouldn’t love a guy like that?”
Goldie smiled at her. “Yeah. He is great. All the guys here are. There aren’t many who could do what they did. It’s something to be admired.”
“Right?” Garnet beamed, getting more excited. “And you should see the way he fights! He can take down multiple people at once and not even be out of breath. He’s always that calm! Like, I’ve never met someone so dependable and reliable in my life. I feel like, even if everything is shaking all around me, he’s going to be sturdy and stable and awesome!”
Goldie laughed. “Yeah. I suppose so.”
“He asked me how to run Spot the other day-”
“What’s Spot?”
Garnet giggled. “It’s what I named the cleaning machine I put together.”
“Cleaning machine… Oh! Like spot clean?” Goldie laughed. “That’s great!”
“I know!” Garnet laughed along with her. “And Tanin wanted to learn how to use it. He said he learns every job on this ship because he feels he should be able to step in and do anything if someone else can’t for whatever reason. And he’s taken such good care of us even though we are burdens that just fell in his lap. He hasn’t complained even once. He just does it. He may not have a bunch of pretty, flowery words, but I’ve never met someone so sincere and honest. Like, if I needed something, I know he would get it for me.”
“Do you love him?”
The soft question cut Goldie off mid rant about how great Tanin was. Totally derailed her thoughts completely off track.
Goldie tilted her head before hitting her with another hard question. “Doesheloveyou?”
“I… I don’t know,” she admitted, deflating again. “We’ve never talked about it.”
“Well, maybe before you make another snap decision, that’s what you should do.”
***
Did Tanin love her?
The question tumbled around Garnet’s brain as she walked down the hall of the Humility, food tray in hand. On it, there was something steaming that she was pretty sure were ribs. They were huge, like beef ribs, but there was still fur on one side, and it looked like they’d been cooked sous vide. The result was meat that was juicy without being crispy, the flesh and fur still intact, the bones pearly white where they stuck out on one side. It was a simple meal, literally just heated meat, but it was about as complex as the synthesizer could get.
While she contemplated the riddle her twin had set her – for such a simple question, the answer seemed to elude her completely – Garnet had thrown herself into her chores. Using simple labor as a way to keep her hands and body busy while her brain puttered along. Hammering at the question like a monkey trying to figure out fire.
