“But Liz never says anything about her family,” I replied, frowning. “I thought everything was okay and her mam was getting better.”
Mam nodded, taking in my answer before asking me another question. “Has she ever spoken to you about her feelings?”
“What kind of feelings?”
“Scary feelings or scary voices,” Mam replied in a careful tone. “Or maybe her worries?”
“Huh?” I shook my head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Never mind.” She smiled brightly. “That’s all I needed to know.”
“What’s going on, Mam?” I asked, feeling worried now. “Is Lizzie okay?”
“Yes, love, she’s fine,” my mother said, trailing her hand through my hair. “I’ve told Catherine that we’re happy to have her over whenever she needs to while she recovers, so expect Lizzie to be here a lot over the coming months.”
“Really?” Excitement sparked to life inside of me, mixing with the confusion I was feeling from this conversation. “That’s great.”
“You’re a good boy, Hugh, and I know you’re so emotionally mature that I don’t need to ask, but please keep an eye out for her.” Mam stroked my cheek and smiled sadly. “She’s a very fragile little girl who needs looking after.”
“I’ll do it,” I vowed, casting a glance out the patio window to the blond girl twirling around in circles in her denim dungarees. “I’ll look after her, Mam, I promise.”
SWIMMING IN THE DEEP END
Lizzie
DECEMBER 3, 1994
BUBBLING WITH EXCITEMENT, IHELD MY MOTHER’S HAND ALL THE WAY FROM THEchanging room to the pool. Mam was still feeling sick and couldn’t go in the water, but shestillcame when Sinead Biggs invited us today. She said it was a special treat for all of us.
I couldn’t wait to get in the swimming pool, and I could see my friends splashing in the water. But I was trying really hard to be a good girl and not make a mistake because Daddy was here, too, and if I was bad, I wouldn’t get to come to the pool again.
I had to behave myself.
No mistakes.
“Catherine?” Sinead asked, rising from a deck chair at the side of the pool when I approached with my mother. “I’m Sinead Biggs. It’s lovely to finally meet you.”
“Likewise,” Mam replied, shaking her hand. “Thank you so much for being so good to Lizzie. I’m forever in your debt.”
“Not at all,” Sinead replied, helping Mammy onto a chair next to hers. “Lizzie is a pleasure. She’s welcome at our home anytime.”
“My son takes the open-door policy in the literal sense,” another woman chuckled from a nearby deck chair. “I swear Sinead sees more of Gerard than I do.” Leaning over the seats, she extended her hand to my mother. “Sadhbh Gibson. You’reCaoimhe’s mother, aren’t you? She’s a credit to you, Catherine. Truly.”
“Thank you so much.” Mam smiled and shook her hand. “And it’s wonderful to finally meet you ladies.”
The three of them started chatting, and I smiled, feeling happy for my mother. It was nice to see her smiling again. Sadhbh and Sinead didn’t stare at her headscarf or give her sad looks. They treated my mother like she was a part of their gang.
Just like how their kids treated me.
“You’re here,” I heard Hugh call out moments before his hand snaked around my ankle. He grinned up at me from the water. “What are you waiting for?”
Looking around, I searched for my father, and when I couldn’t find him, I backed right up before running and jumping into the water.
“Are you crazy?” Hugh laughed, watching me paddle toward him. “You can’t jump in the deep end yet. You’re too small.”
“If you can do it, I can do it.”
He grinned back at me. “Then why are you sinking?”
