“Very few males live long enough to be afflicted. Loosely translated, it means ‘flat’.”
How descriptive. “And maybe so. But you're alive. You’re still strong enough to function. It tells me you have the reservestobemore than you are.”
He shook his head. “At one time, maybe.”
“What time? When you lived in the city?”
He chuckled softly. “Those were the times.”
Addie’s face warmed. She hadn't meant to bring indiscriminate sex into the conversation, but every mention of Zoark’s life at the City of Seraphims invariably turned to this one theme. There was no avoiding it - sleeping with the women had been such a huge part of life there.
“The city afforded you a chance to heal,” Addie said quietly.
“Sure. Mating helped my body heal.”
The conversation was getting awkward. “I don’t pass judgment. I understand. That woman, Samantha…”
“It wasn’t just Samantha,” he interrupted her harshly. “Iolanthe, too. The quiet Anne. That crude creature Janna-Beatrix. The others. Even Sathe.”
“Eww.” Addie couldn't hide her disgust, and he noticed, relished in it.
“Yes. So, don’t make me into someone I’m not.”
“I don’t. You were a pig.”
“What’s a pig?”
“An animal that wallows in mud, the dirtier the better.”
“Sounds about right.”
“But no person is one thing. You made the city safer.” He wanted to argue but she overrode his objections, “No, don’t deny it, you set order to their city and warded off attacks. Say you did it. Admit it.”
After a beat of silence, he made an affirmative motion with his head. “Marauders were a real plague. And only a few able-bodied men lived in the city permanently when I first got there. I had to mount a defense before I was able to stand upright. It wasn't me, then it was no one. That’s the simple truth of.”
His eyes clouded with memories.
Addie wrapped her arms around her middle. “Your injury must have been still fresh.”
“My leg was in a sorry shape, yes. But the sex helped. Sex gives you power. It’s how we’re wired, Addie-women.”
She was beginning to grasp the concept, yes.
“I think what you did was heroic.”
“I don’t know about that. I do know that I wasn’t ready to die, no matter how badly crippled. It was wrong of me to want to survive, but there you have it.”
Addie averted her face, too emotional for words. This man had a fire burning inside him and a core of steel, but saying it to him would be of no use. He didn’t know what fire was. Or steel.
Yet it physically pained her to see him now, broken-spirited, so clearly believing himself unworthy.
“I’ll sleep with you,” she heard herself say and was more surprised by this declaration than Zoark was. And he was pretty damn surprised.
His body froze and his eyes flickered. He took a step toward her.
She took two steps back.
Halting, he smiled sadly. “You couldn't stand it with a For. You aren’t Samantha.”
