He grinned.“Of course.”
“But Nim and I, we just...we were always glue.Especially after her dad died and Mom sort of...lost it.Nim was my responsibility.”
“Which is why you went back for her.”
She nodded.“And then we ended up at the Davidsons’ and everything changed.”She looked up at him.“It was really good for a while.The Davidsons were good people.They’d cultivated a sort of camaraderie with the other kids.Boz was?—”
“Why do you call him Boz?”
“Some of the kids called him Dad, but I...well, he suggested Boz—his real name was Boaz—and Anna.And everybody loved them.And I started to also.”
She stood up, turned to the fridge.“Want a sandwich?”
“Why did you leave, Emberly?What really happened?”
His soft voice could unravel her.She stood, gripping the fridge handle.“I got saved.”
Silence.
She turned and he wore a frown.“And that’s bad?”
“No.Yes.I mean—Boz was involved in this summer tent-revival thing.He was there every night for a week, and so...”She sighed.“I just...I wanted it, all right?I sat there with the other kids and listened to this message of forgiveness and I saw who I was, and I wanted what they had.So...I went forward.”
He said nothing.
“Boz and Anna were—they were so excited.And for a long minute there, I thought everything would be...better.That I’d have a family and maybe I didn’t have to be who I was...”She scrubbed her hands down her face.“Anyway, about two days later, one of the kids claimed that they had twenty dollars taken from their bedside stash, and Boz and Anna asked if anyone had taken it.I hadn’t...and even now I realize it was a just a question, but at the time, I thought they were blaming me.I looked at Boz and laughed when he asked me if I knew where it was, when he said that he wasn’t going to allow stealing.And he said, ‘It’s not funny, Emberly.You can’t live your old life and call yourself a new creation.’”Shoot.Her eyes filled.“I realized I was never going to really be...different.Or new or whatever.So I left.”
“Self-sabotage.”
“Survival.”
He raised an eyebrow.“Yeah.You said that Boz tracked you down...”
“Yeah.I called Nimue and she told him where I was.I guess introducing me to Pike was his way of trying to fix the situation.”
“But in doing so, it sent a message that he was right.That you were a thief.”He slid off the chair and came toward her.
“Iama thief, Steinbeck.”
“In your eyes.Not in the eyes of your Savior.In his eyes, you’re forgiven.”
Her eyes stung.
She took a step back.“I don’t need a hug.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
But he didn’t advance, just held out his hand.
And heaven help her, she took it.And let him pull her to himself.She leaned her face against his chest.
“Emberly, the one Jesus loves.”
She stilled in his arms.He put his cheek against her head.“My mother used to say that to us.There is this disciple, John, in the Bible, who only identified himself as the one Jesus loved.She always said, what might it look like if we did the same?”
Emberly, the one...
No.It felt too...“That’s not me, Stein.”
