‘Lean to the left . . . with your whole body . . . a little more, and keep your weight in the direction you want to go. I know every instinct is trying to tell you to lean back.’
Alice stared at the ground, the compressed, bumpy snow of the slope, and tried to force her body to do as Lola said.
‘Flatten your board just a little more . . . ’
‘Flat? But won’t I fall forward?’
‘No, because I’m holding you. But also because you’re only going to do it for a second to get going, then you’re going to shift your weight back a little so the edge of the board is just carving into the snow, creating a tiny platform for you.’
Alice was holding Lola’s hands and staring at the soft ground beneath her board. ‘Like this?’
‘You tell me.’
Looking up, Alice cried, ‘We’re moving! I’m doing that!’
‘You sure are,’ said Lola. ‘You show this mountain who’s boss.’
‘I am, and I’ll show it.’ Alice couldn’t keep the dopey grin off her face. It was crazy to feel such a sense of achievement, but she was actually proud of herself.
As they neared the side again, Lola said, ‘Now, whenever you feel ready, I want you to shift us to going back to the right without stopping.’
‘I can’t—’ Alice stopped herself. ‘Yes, I can do that. Let’s do it now. What do I do?’
‘That’s my girl. Just simply start leaning to the right, remembering to come a little forward on your board to help you make that forty-five degree angle.’
‘Woooooooooo!’ Alice loved the feeling of navigating the mountain. She loved the feeling of her nose getting cold, her fingers squished against Lola’s, her hair sticking to her face under her helmet. She might have run away from the real world, but if she was going to fall into Wonderland, this winter version was making her feel like she’d made the right choice.
Before she knew it, they’d traversed down to the bottom of the baby slope, and the little toddler girl had giggled her way past them twice, without a care in the world.
‘Thank you,’ she said to Lola, her smiling, patient instructor who had stuck by her side, just like she’d promised. ‘For all of this.’ She spread her arms wide, feeling gratitude, just like she’d been instructed, but in this moment to this woman who had forced her to open her heart a little today.
‘You have nothing to thank me for yet.’ Lola smiled. ‘Thank me at the end of the day, if you don’t want to smack me over the head with your board. Right, take your back foot out of your bindings, and let’s go again.’
The pair unclipped and Alice pulled her foot from the board, already walking with a gait. She subconsciously reached down and held her thigh as they walked, feeling her scar ache deep inside.
Lola caught what she was doing and asked, ‘How’s that leg? Still okay?’
Alice enjoyed the ache, her painful reminder, her second shadow. The day the ache left would be the day she’d stop thinking about Jill, surely, so it was reassuring to have it there with her. ‘I’m doing well,’ she answered.
‘Let’s go, champ,’ Lola answered. ‘And this time, I might let you go it alone.’
Off they went back up the baby slope.Baby steps, thought Alice.
