Chapter 49
Alice and Lola walked Bear along the Chänelegg Trail as the first signs of spring peeped through the snow. There was no need for snowshoes now, and Bear was enjoying munching on the blades of grass that peeped up through to the sky.
‘I just can’t believe it’s April already and that you go home in a week,’ Lola was saying. ‘What am I going to do without you?’
‘I know, it’s going to feel like my right arm is missing, not having you next door any more.’ Lola stuck out her bottom lip and Alice slung an arm around her shoulders as they walked. ‘Are you looking forward to going back to New Zealand?’
‘Ah yeah, for sure. But this winter’s been bloody ace.’
‘It really has,’ Alice agreed.
‘You’re flying back over in August for Sonja’s seventieth, though, right?’
‘We wouldn’t miss it!’ said Alice. ‘Imagine if you flew over from the southern hemisphere for a long weekend and we didn’t make the effort from just over in England.’
It was so strange to be going home. Alice had long dreaded this time coming around, but actually it wasn’t an awful feeling, just a bittersweet one. The fear had melted with the snow, and she was looking forward to seeing her parents, catching up with Bahira, Kemi and Theresa over a bottle of wine, walking beside the Thames, eating ‘real’ bacon again. She’d be living back at her childhood home for a couple of months, commuting into London two days a week to work from theFunny Packoffice, which would be a welcome hug. She also planned to visit Jill’s mum and dad regularly.
‘Did you hear back from any of the publishers yet?’ Lola asked.
‘Actually, one sounds pretty interested – they think it could make a nice gift book, and they want a meeting when I get back to the UK, so fingers crossed!’
‘That’sbrilliant! You’ll keep me updated, won’t you?’
‘Of course! I have been thinking about something else I might do, actually.’
‘Go on.’
Alice had read a study once that said humans had a ‘hierarchy of needs’. Once you’d filled up on the vitals such as food and shelter, the next thing you needed was security. Then love, belonging and inclusion. Then self-esteem and power. And finally you’d be at self-actualisation and creativity.
Alice formed her words. ‘Going to the therapist has got me thinking about choosing happy, which is something I’ve always tried to choose in life, but as you know I gave up for a while. I want to give other people the ability to choose happy too, so I was thinking of starting some kind of drawing class or workshop, for people who’d suffered some kind of trauma. Not in place of therapy or anything, I am no expert at fixing people, but just to give them somewhere to go, or something to distract them, but maybe then think about training as an art therapist. And I think it’s good for me to make connections, in real life. What do you think?’
‘I couldn’t think of anybody better to do something like that. Those people are going to be so lucky to have you around.’
Alice blushed and gave her friend a bashful nudge. ‘Well, it’s taken a while to get here, butIfeel lucky.’ She inhaled the fresh air and drank up the view with gratitude.
Goodbyes were so hard, even when they were planned. Bear knew something was up and was sticking to Alice like superglue as she walked through her chalet for the last time, trailing her fingers over her nook, the blankets, looking at the view from the window.
Vanessa caught her in a tight hug. ‘Thank you for being here,’ she said into her hair.
‘Thankyou. You have no idea how much I needed this.’
‘Come back any time, this is your home now too.’ Bear nudged his way in between them. ‘And yours too, Bear.’
Alice smiled wide, her red lipstick helping to light up her face. ‘I can’t wait to see you in August.’
Vanessa stepped outside the chalet and took David’s hand. They were going for a walk to leave her and Marco alone.
Alice faced him, and the tears came.
‘Hey, it’s okay,’ he soothed, curling her into his arms.
‘I’m going to miss . . . everything.’
‘Me too. But we won’t forget, we made a lot of pictures.’
She laughed. It felt good to let the tears come, drenched with emotions connected to happy times and loving thoughts, because although she was still sad, she wasn’t lost any more. Whether she was home, here, or a million miles away, Alice was happy.
