My head pounded in agony. “Whatisit?”
“I’ve blessed you with the godsight. For a time, you’ll see as we do,” Calamité explained. “It will let you find the king’s candle. You might try saying thank you, at the very least.”
I clawed at my scalp, wanting to rip my head open and free the pressure building within it. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll never be able to find him. There are thousands, hundreds of thousands of candles.”
“Youdon’t know what you’re talking about,” Calamité snapped. “He keeps them organized, families and friends next to those they know and love. Study the flames. You’ll see.” He laughed darkly. “You’ll see everything.”
“Don’t!” I started to cry, but before I could protest any further, I heard the snap of fingers.
Chapter 38
The air suddenly tasted ofminerals and wet stone. I was back in the Between.
I could hear the rush of the waterfall to my left. Calamité had brought me right to the rocky opening leading into Merrick’s domain.
I took a deep breath, mustering my courage, then opened myeyes.
Instantly I shut them, balling my fists into their sockets.
The godsight showed meeverything.
Each droplet of water hung suspended in the air; lacy patterns of lichens on the stone were magnified, impossibly large. I could see each ray of light as it shot through the gaps in the waterfall’s spill. Just one second of sight stretched into millennia as I noticed the detail of everything around me.
It was too much.
Mortals weren’t meant to see this much.
My stomach recoiled, and I felt as though I was going to be sick.
How would I make it to the cavern? How would I be able to lookat the hundreds of thousands of candles, the multitudes of flames? I wanted to retch imagining it.
Sightless and unseeing, I tried to move toward the back wall to find the opening, aiming myself where I remembered it had been. I only made it three steps before stumbling over the uneven ground. I pitched forward and landed on my knees with a terriblecrack.
Eyes scrunched tight, I reached out with trembling fingers, feeling the ground before me, noting the dips and rises in it, and began to crawl. I prayed I was going in the right direction, prayed I wasn’t about to go right over the edge.
I ran straight into the wall, bumping my head. Stars flashed behind my eyelids as I searched for the entrance. I’d have to open my eyes once inside. There were too many chasms, too many bridges. I’d have to be able to see where I was going, see where exactly my feet needed to step.
“Maybe it won’t be as bad inside,” I whispered, coaching myself. “There’s not as much light, not as much to see.”
Tentatively, I opened my eyes, squinting through the fringe of lashes.
It was so much worse.
There werethingsin this darkness better left unknown, ancient living things that regarded me with too many eyes, that salivated over my flesh with too many tongues. I remembered when Merrick had first brought me here. I’d felt so uneasy in this darkness. Now I knew why.
“Focus on the path,” I said aloud. “They’re not there if you’re not looking at them.”
Even with my eyes fixed on the ground, I saw too much. Every speck of dirt, the shape and texture of each tiny pebble. It all seemed vitally important, demanding to be registered. Squinting didn’t help.I was able to see each and every one of my eyelashes, noting the angle of their curves, the slight variation of their colors.
Catching my foot on another dip in the terrain, I stumbled on the hem of my dress and saw the way each individual thread had been woven to make the cloth.
“Stop taking in the details and justwalk,” I hissed to myself. An impossible order.
My eyes felt the size of dinner plates. My mind was stuffed too full, holding on to each detail and giving it equal weight and importance. How did the gods live like this?
With my new sight, I could easily see the path I needed to take before me. I could see the candles’ glow, see the way they lit the darkness, even around corners and turns in the labyrinthine puzzle. I could see the heat they threw, watching the temperature rise around me in colors I’d never seen before, colors I wasn’t sure any mortal was meant to see, ever.
It took me ages to make my way to the cavern.
