“We don’t call them that down here,” she hisses. “You understand what I mean by moon risings.”
I do, but I am hoping to irritate her enough she’ll slip and take this Dreb out of my throat. “Thanks. They’ll be coming to get me soon, surprised they haven’t yet. I’ll tell the shark dude you’re around, and maybe he’ll eat you.”
When I look at her, she has her eyes at half-mast, staring at me with disgust. “Why are you like this?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I look up and watch my hair float around above me. “No one showed me kindness when I needed it the most. When I screamed for help, no one cared, and I’ve lost the ability to be what no one was for me.”
Sinnix doesn’t respond, and I just hold my gaze upward. It’s eerie down here, but I’ll admit it’s better than being buried. I can confidently say that because I can breathe right now. I’m sure I wouldn’t feel that way if I were constantly dying of suffocation. Even if truly, that is all I want so I can be with him.
“I’m sorry.” Her soft murmur catches me by surprise, and I look down to her. “That no one answered your call. Not for what you went through.”
I release apfft, but before I can quip, she continues, “Because sorry does nothing. It doesn’t express anything other than us not having anything else to say.”
“Poet, as expected,” I say sarcastically.
“Did you get your revenge?” She brushes past my snarky remark.
“Almost.”
“Is that why you are down here?”
Rolling my lips together, I catch her gaze on me, and I nod. “Sort of. My mom’s a crazy cunt trying to use me to breed more of our kind.” I suppose telling her doesn’t matter. Except, the moment I do, her expression shifts into… something unreadable. “What?”
She looks angry. No, maybe not that, but something between that and concern? I can’t imagine why in any form would she feel that way. “Are you currently pregnant?”
Sighing, I nod again. “Unfortunately.” I clink the metal around my hands and give her a knowing look. “It’s why I was clawing at my stomach. Then shark-boy came and did this.”
“I’ll kill it.” She says it so quickly that I let out a laugh, even if I don’t find humor in what she says. It was just instinctual. “For your heart.”
“No, I told you, you can’t have it.”
“You want to have that thing, then.” It isn’t a question, but a resolute statement. One that sends bile straight to my throat.
“No! I don’t!”
“Then, why not? Why are you giving up and allowing it to happen?”
My eyes widen, mouth opening in shock. “I’m not giving?—”
“Yes, you are,” she says as she shifts upward. “You aren’t fighting the way you can. You’re giving up.”
“Fight.”
“I’ll kill it, Succubus.”
I’m shaking my head, even if that is what I want. I know I’ll have to give her my heart, and I’m just not ready for that.
“Fight, baby.”
My body aches for him, my Amoro crying out to see him even in the depths of my dream. If I sleep for a long time, maybe I can fight the block he has on me and get to him. He won’t be able to kick me out if I don’t have a heartbeat.
Would you be mad at me for giving it away… Would you hate me… Would you still love me?
“You’ll kill it first?” I ask weakly, not entirely convinced of my answer yet.
The eager nod of Sinnix’s head makes me close my eyes and search for the beating in my chest. She is right, and I know when my mother comes to collect me it will piss her off that I’ve somehow killed it. Even though she will just force another one inside of me, I’ll revel in her fury.
“Lie to me, Sinnix,” I say, shifting and beginning to move toward her. “Come find me again when they put me back down here. Kill the thing inside of me every time, and you can have my heart over and over again.”
