He hates classical movies. His favorite dish was Asian food, said his mother introduced it to his father and it was a Friday night staple.
“He isn’t going to come for you if that is what you and your Amoro are waiting for,” she says while grabbing my chin and pulling my face to hers. I don’t open my eyes. Just stare into the darkness that it offers me.
He loves me and wouldn’t leave me. He’s stubborn… He told me he’d fight Belial himself to crawl back to me.
He isn’t gone.
She’s lying.
She… she’s lying.
“I think you should count your blessings he is dead, because if he weren’t, I’d make him suffer.” She leans against me, her lips brushing against mine. “Or I’d make him mine just to hurt you for your disobedience.”
Every part of me ignites with fury, and I scream. My body thrashes forward in such a rage that I can’t stay tethered to myself. It’s not just my being that radiates with anger—around me, the air smells of ash and fire, blood and decay.
As she throws herself on top of me again, I grab her throat, not noticing the blackness consuming my entire arm until it vanishes from my sight. The muted gray world above me flickers in and out of focus.
Piercing pain shoots from my forehead and when Tali turns her gaze upward, she lets out a malicious laugh. “There she is.”
I’m not sure where the strength comes from, but I angle my leg and press my foot against her stomach, thrusting upward with such force that she breaks through the ceiling. I’m no longer in control of myself; feeling like a host trapped in a body that isn’t mine. Moving as though I weigh nothing, I rise to my feet and step aside just in time for Tali to land gracefully in front of me.
“This fight doesn’t matter. He… is… dead…”
Shaking my head, I launch myself at her. As she grins, her fangs bared in a deadly smile, I’m ready to tear her heart out and consume it—just asshe made me do to my father.
But who am I kidding?
“Stop, my Xeraphine.”
The tether straight to my brain goes taut, and a knot forms in my willpower. A scream bellows out of my throat and its piercing sound shatters glass somewhere in the room.
What fucking fairytale am I living in, thinking I stood a chance? She’d been standing in this room, absorbing their lifeforces as their gates opened, long before my Amoro could even make an attempt.
She’s happily fed.
I’m letting anger, pain, and the truth suck me dry.
The truth…
“Come here, baby.”
The pressure I apply to my legs to keep from walking works for only a brief moment. It doesn’t last, though, and as I squeeze my eyes shut, I can’t stop the tears from pricking at the edges.
Her fingers lace through mine and she pulls me into a hug that is the same as laying on a bed of needles. “He’s gone, and no one will come for you.”
No, just keep fighting…
A grip on the back of my neck accompanies several other hands on me. “You’re mine,” she whispers against my cheek, and I stop trying not to cry. Tears fall like a river down my face and I don’t care anymore.
“Let mommy make you feel better.”
“No…” I choke, and I know I’m fighting a losing battle…
Who am I kidding? I’ve already lost. I’m weak, clinging to the illusion that I was anything more than a toy. Just a body to be owned. It’s always been this way; from the moment I took my first fucking breath.
A lesson learned, I suppose. Don’t let hope take root in a world drowned in hopelessness.
Tali’s right.
