I pass Kai, who reaches his hand out to me, just enough to brush his fingers across my wrist. He doesn’t stop me, but just reminds me that he is there, even as he leaves my peripherals.
Taking in a deep breath, I finally say, “You are going to permanently separate yourself from this world.” I can’t command her to do it, it doesn’t work that way. She has towillinglygo, and as much as I want so badly to demand through my power her to do it, it will do no good. “I’ll summon Proserpina” —she laughs— “and you will tell her that is what you want. To leave this world, and to never return.”
She leans forward, and begins laughing hysterically.
I continue, “You’ll do this, Tali, or I will remove your head and stab this dagger through your heart so you will never rise again.”
When her head lifts, I hate that she’s smiling. As if the threat means nothing to her. That it’s as empty as her very soul is.
If she even has one…
“You should know howunreliableburying someone is…”
My chin trembles, and I grip tightly to the blade.
“All it takes is one curious Mundane to bring me up, take out the dagger, and I will bebackhunting you and what ismine!”
I swallow hard, shaking my head. She trapped me in a box, but I’ll bury her in a concrete structure so deep in the earth that not even I will remember where she is.
It’s like she can hear my plans, and it only has her smiling harder. “War is coming. One where a new world will be created. Bury me to the core, someone—at any point—will find me, Daughter. I am inevitable.”
“Why…” It isn’t a question I need answered. I know the ‘why’. I understand what she wants, but it’s more of a plea. A why can’t she see just how badly this hurts me, and why doesn’t she care? Why didn’t anyone care for me and what I want?
Everyone but Kai and Sydni.
“Keep your arms down, Tali,” I say absentmindedly.
Am I ready to sacrifice one of them? For what? A life that isn’t worth living... not even one that’s truly free.
“Please.” I take another step to her and fall to my knees. “Leave and let me be happy. That is all I’ve ever wanted.”
When the smile on her lips stays, I close my eyes and shake my head in absolute agony. “And sacrifice what would make me happy? I think not. Whether it is now… or in a thousand years, Xeraphine Nora, I will have what I want.”
I grip the dagger so tightly that I fear I’ll break it.
That’s when his hand grips my shoulder, and I know what we’re about to do. The blade in my hand will no longer pierce her heart, but my own.
“One last time.” My voice catches as I tremble with the knowledge of what is to come. “Willingly separate yourself from this world and go to the Beyond with Proserpina.”
Not that I expected anything less, but when the word “Never” slips from her lips, rage and hatred surge through me. I scream.
It’s so loud that my voice cracks.
Kairhyse’s hand tightens around my shoulder, and I force myself to my feet. I turn to face him, staring into eyes that hold no worry. His handdrags across my cheek, and I fear this will break me beyond repair.
“I’ll see you soon, okay?”
My sobs come out with a whimper. “I don’t want to do this, I changed my mind.” I grab onto his shirt and shake uncontrollably. “I take it back, this plan is so stupid, it’s not worth?—”
He grabs the back of my head and slams his mouth into mine. It’s too brief, because when he pulls back all I want is for him to come back and do it again and again.
“Your peace. Your life. All of you. It’s all worth it. We will be together. Whether it is meant to be in this life, or the next. Remember that.”
I scream through my cries and shake my head. “No, you can’t make me choose myself.”
“Do it, Xera.”
“No, no, no?—”
