We both pause. The silence all telling we are hoping for the same thing.
“Maybe… they’ll have your morals.”
“And your resilience,” he says with a half-smile. “Fight against what they want, and instead, do what is right.” He steps forward to me and I look up at him. “Okay…”
“Once my mother is taken care of, find a way to get what we need to get done without the… traditional means.”
“You’ll still have to carry them,” he murmurs and places out his hand toward me. “That won’t change. You’ll be their carrier.Theirvessel.”
I nod. “Kai will take care of me.” I place the blade that was given to me by Belial in his hand. Since, you know, I don’t have fucking pockets in this damn dress, he’ll have to carry it.
He chuckles. “He will. His obsession runs deep enough I’ll never doubt his need to care for you.”
I won’t tellhim everything, not right now. Giving Alaric a child is me—more or less—flipping off Belial. I’m not sure if it makes sense to bring two unknowns into this world, but that’s for another day. A problem to address at a far later time.
Tali is the immediate threat, one that now I feel we are all on the same page with on how to end.
Kai leans forward, grabs under my thighs, and hoists me up. I circle my legs around him, shifting to hold his neck and bury my face into his collar. He moves us around the small island and toward the bathroom. “We need to shower,” he whispers into my ear, keeping me held up with one hand while the other comes up and cups my cheek. “We also need to feed, and then I’ll order some room service for you.”
I nod, leaning my head into his open palm to rub my nose against it. His thumb draws under my eye, before venturing to the back of my headand threading his fingers through my hair.
I tilt my head up, meeting his impenetrable stare. He looks down at my lips quickly as I attempt to smile, to hopefully get one in return.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t give me one.
“Tell me something, little demon.” He sits me down onto the cold countertop in the small bathroom. His hand drifting under the slits of the dress and begins working it up and over my chest. “I’m only asking a question, don’t fucking freak out on me.”
Asshole. I wish he would’ve just asked. Now Iamfreaking out.
“If she kills me, you’d send her to the Beyond?”
The fabric moves over my head, and when my face reappears, his gaze drops.
“Oh, Xera, baby. Hey, hey…”
I feel a surge of horror at the very question, and I’m sure my expression mirrors that exact thought. “It won’t happen. She’s not stupid.” My tone is strained. “Don’t fucking mention it again.”
He moves his hands to fix my hair, which I can feel is a mess. The deep frown on his lips and his wandering eyes—no, I know exactly what he’s thinking.
“No!” I shout. “It’s not a question. It’s not even a poss?—”
His kiss against my mouth is gentle, but it cuts me off. “Okay,” he breathes against my lips before cradling my face in his hands. “Okay.”
Fear is exhausting.
Living without him is inconceivable.
Maybe we should just both die… Free us from this place.
At least then, we’d still be together.
In this life, and any of the ones after.
Chapter 53
Kairhyse
It’s hard not to think about it, though it’s not like I’m suicidal. I’ve wondered what death would be like for years, but not much in the last hundred or so. Before Xeraphine, I was content with my life. Now, I’m fucking happy—or will be, once things are safe for my girl.
