It’s been three hours in this car, and neither of us has said a word.
I’ve got a lot going through my head, and I know that she does too. It’s why I’ve not been needy for her to talk to me. But now that we’re only an hour out from our destination, I’m ready to break the silence.
For everyone’s safety, we agreed to split up—close, but separate. Alaric with Niyla, Brice with Syd and Mister, and me with Xera. Kayn said he’d catch up with me and my girl once he got his bike back, all while checking in on what’s happening in Sidence.
Before we left the cabin, I’d kept myself occupied, focused on planning where we were going and what we’d do once we got there, when Xera screamed. I wanted to give her and Mister space, but I couldn’t ignore what was happening, and then overhearing the end of their conversation, about just the two of them leaving, I wasn’t having it. Mister saved her by shutting the thought down nearly instantly.
That was when I felt it. Her heartbeat slowing, and the pain that consumed her. I know she wants to protect me, but I don’t need it. Just like she was so fucking insistent that I not save her, I’m the same with her trying to do the same with me.
She’s infuriating in all the ways I love and loathe.
My arms are stiff, and just like my lips, they haven’t moved, either. It’s taking everything in me not to reach for her, not to hold her in some way. But I’m just as frustrated with my little demon as I am desperate for her.
“You said…” Her voice seems loud in the quiet, even if she’s whispering. “You’d never leave me. That… you’d chase me to the ends of the world.”
I peek over at her, and I’m surprised she has her gaze on me.
“I did.”
“Do you realize a statement like that can bring me as much pain as it does happiness?”
My brows pinch, and I run my tongue along my upper teeth, feeling the prick of my fang. “I’m not following.”
A soft sigh escapes her cherry-stained lips, and she looks sad. Xera doesn’t dosad. She does anger, hatred; not sad.
“Breaking it… it’s better to always put a subordinating conjunction between it.”
“A… what?” I’m not dumb, I do have a university degree, butwhat?
“I’ll chase youunless… A condition, Kai.”
“You couldn’t have just said condition?”
She huffs.
“You’re telling me… I needed to put a condition on loving you, little demon?”
Her throat bobs at the intensity of her swallow. “Yes.”
I can’t help but laugh, shaking my head as I look away from her. “You know, you’re the most complicated woman I have ever met, yet the simplest. It’s such a fucking conundrum.”
The leather of her chair creaks as she shifts—whether to face me or turn away, I’m not sure. I don’t look at her. My eyes stay fixed on the dark road ahead.
“Conditions save me from being hurt!”
“No, conditions make you feel safe,” I snap. “That’s the thing, love isn’t safe. Nothing about whatweare together is safe. Conditions—pfft. Bullshit.”
“I’m only saying you should have considered what saying being with me for eternity would do?—”
“Why!?” I bite out, squeezing the steering wheel. “You couldkillme, Xera, and I would still somehow chase you—fuckingloveyou. Why would I need to put a condition on something that is unconditional?!”
“Because I can never just be yours.”
Driving right now is too dangerous, so I pull the car onto the side of the road. We’re in the middle of nowhere—woods stretching endlessly on one side, a lake on the other. The only sign of life is the car passing us as I come to a complete stop.
“You areonlymine,” I say through clenched teeth. “Not Alaric’s. Not Belial’s. Not your mother’s. You don’t even belong toyou.”
When I turn to look at her, tears line her lids, and her bottom lip trembles as she breathes slowly.
