Jackson walks ahead, and I follow him upstairs to his bedroom. I’ve never been to the house he shares with a group of other college guys, but it looks like I expected—plain walls, a bed with navy sheets, and clothes strewn on the desk chair. He plops down on the mattress and watches me scan his room.
“Want to talk about it?”
I tense, glancing at him. Why the hell am I here? “I broke up with Mia.”
His eyebrows shoot up, but he stays silent.
Shrugging, I walk over to his desk and pick up an empty can of pop to keep my hands busy. “She cheated on me.”
“Is that really why you’re here?”
I place it back down and lean back against the desk. Jackson studies me beneath his dark lashes, and I stare at my Vans. I should leave.
“Hey,” he says, rising to his feet and walking up to me. Up close, he looks worried as he tilts his head to force me to look at him. “What happened?”
Wincing, I try to look away, but he invades my space and cups my chin. I’m not into Jackson like that, but a pang of loneliness strikes me as he drops his eyes to my lips. My heart thuds hard for all the wrong reasons. For once, I want to feel something real instead of this constant ache whenever Cole is nearby. The fury I felt in the bathroom when I saw him with my girlfriend is gone, and now I’m empty. I should have seen it coming. Mia wasn’t subtle with her glances in his direction. Fuck, I’m not even upset about that. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about Mia or her wandering hands, but Cole… How could he do that to me? I mean, it makes sense… He likes pussy, and I’m a fucking guy.
“You’re okay,” Jackson says, and I lift my gaze. He must see my inner turmoil because when I try to free my chin, he drops his lips to mine, and for a brief moment, time pauses. Soft fingers stroke my cheekbones as Jackson swipes his tongue across my lips. If it were Cole in his place, I’d open my mouth and heart. But it’s not Cole. It’ll never be Cole.
I pull my face away, and Jackson sighs with defeat.
“You’re that into him, huh?”
I don’t ask him who or what he means. My heart is too battered tonight.
Pushing away from me, Jackson walks over to his bed. “Come on,” he says as he lies down and cushions his head with his arm.“Lie down with me.” He draws his knee up and looks up at the ceiling. “I promise not to touch you.”
I stare at him for a beat before chuckles vibrate my chest. I’m being stupid. Shaking my head, I rub my neck as I make my way over to the bed. I feel ridiculous now. Jackson and I aren’t friends, so whatever this is…
“What?” he says when I hover by the bedside.
“This is weird, isn’t it?”
His lips twitch. “What’s weird? You coming over here in the dead of night, me kissing you, or you lying down beside me?”
Amused, I slide my hands into my jeans pockets. “All of it.”
“Yeah, well, I got kicked off the football team because of you. Consider this your olive branch.” He pats the space again, and I crawl in beside him. We stare up at the ceiling as a car drives by outside. “Can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to go home.”
“Do I get a blowjob, at least?”
My chest tightens, but his eyes twinkle with mischief when I look over at him. This is a side to Jackson I’ve never seen before. “Relax, I’m messing with you,” he says, gazing back up at the ceiling. “Go to sleep.”
In the ensuing silence, I study his side profile. “Have you ever been in love with a guy?”
His eyes find mine again, and the mattress squeaks as he turns over on his side. Resting his chin on his palm, he gazes down at me. “I’ve had sex with guys.”
“But have you been in love with one?”
“I don’t think I’ve been in love with anyone,” he replies, shrugging.
“Trust me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
His eyes roam my face, and I fight the urge to squirm beneath all that intensity. He studies me as if I’m a curious specimen. “What’s it like?”
“To be in love?”
He nods, and I sigh as I gaze up at the ceiling again. “It aches…right here.” I place my hand on my chest and move it in a circle. “And I’m powerless to make it go away. I was curious at first, you know? I noticed him when I didn’t notice anyone.” I look at Jackson, at the stubble on his cheek and his dark hair. “I didn’t know how to handle those emotions.”
