“You’re hurt,” Jones says, jutting his chin to my hands.
I’m bleeding.
My skin is bright red from the hot water, and the crusts on my cracked knuckles have opened back up.
“Look,” he says, speaking to me like I’m a flight risk.
Am I? The urge is definitely there to bolt.
“We will find them, Blaise.”
“The fuck you will! They’ve been missing for two days…” I look away, my chest rising and falling rapidly. “Two fucking days.”
“I’ve got my best men on the case,” Detective Calleary says across the table. “They’re out there right now, chasing clues.”
“Blaise,” Dad breathes, fed up with my mood swings. “Sit down, son.”
“Shut up!” I roar. “Shut the fuck up, Dad.” I point out the window. “They’re out there somewhere. You didn’t see the look in Malcolm’s eyes. He has lost it. Do you hear me? Lost it! He doesn’t care what he has to do to get his family back.”
Dad sighs, and it pisses me off even more.
Detective Jones tries to reach for me again, but I shrug him off with a hard glare, then look at the unfeeling man who fathered me. “Don’t you get it? He will kill them before turning the gun on himself. He’ll try to play happy families for a while. But he will snap sooner or later. He’s unstable.”
“Blaise,” Detective Jones says carefully. “If you don’t calm down, we’ll have to take you in.”
“Take me in?” I frown. “Are you fucking serious?”
“It’s for your own protection. They’ll be able to get you something to calm you down.”
“Fuck you,” I sneer. “We’re in this fucking situation because Malcolm was allowed to keep his fucking badge. This could have been avoided if the police department would’ve done their job instead of brushing it under the carpet.”
“That’s not true,” Dad interjects, and I look at him. Betrayal gnaws at my insides when he rises to his feet. “Badge or no badge, it was a restraining order. He was free to walk the streets. No piece of paper could have stopped him from taking what he wanted.”
“Clearly,” I spit bitterly before pushing past Detective Jones on my way out.
They don’t stop me, which is just as well. I don’t know what I’ll do if someone tries to keep me here. My skin crawls like thereare hundreds of worms beneath it. I’m a restless, caged circus animal.
I jog down the porch steps and cross the lawn to the car. Gunmetal gray clouds roll across the sky from the south. As I climb into the car, the first raindrop slams down on the windscreen with a dramatic splash. More follow until it hammers on the roof like a stampeding herd.
I need to get out of here.
After reversing out of the drive, I slam my foot down on the accelerator. The wipers work overtime, and the road is barely visible in the heavy downpour. I take a corner too fast and nearly lose control of the vehicle. Panic seizes me as the tires skid on the wet surface.
Spooked, I pulled over by the side of the road and cut the engine. My heart slams around inside my chest. I need to calm myself the fuck down, or I’ll crash into a tree or, worse, another car. My sanity is slowly slipping between my fingers.
I grip the steering wheel like my life depends on it, and blood seeps from my knuckles. The cuts split open more as I white-knuckle the leather. I hate feeling so helpless. What if Cole is dead? Two days without treatment for a gunshot wound is bad fucking news. What if he bled to death?
My head falls back against the headrest, and I close my eyes.
I will myself to think clearly, but it’s a lot easier said than done. All I want is to burn the fucking world down for Cole. He’s buried underneath my skin, and now it feels like I’ve lost the other half of my soul.
I lift my head off the headrest, then slam it back again. The ache in my chest won’t subside. Guilt twists my insides. I couldn’t save him from his dad. I promised him I’d keep him safe but broke my word.
I wring the steering wheel while my mind torments me. I should have saved him. I shouldn’t have let his dad take him. I should have told him I loved him more often.
So many things I should have done but didn’t.
As a car whizzes by outside, briefly rocking the vehicle, I drive my fist into the steering wheel, then try to rip it out but fail miserably. I hit it again and again, exerting whatever little energy I have left until I break down into sobs.
