A breath whooshes from my lips as my forehead descends on his. His dick twitches in my grip, and I squeeze my eyes shut as I work his hard length, savoring each labored, harsh breath.
“Please,” I breathe, my voice cracking. “Let me touch you.”
Tiago’s voice comes back to me, whispering in the recesses of my fragmented mind,“Whatever you do, Blaise, you can’t force Cole.”
I frown, trying to shut it out, but the voice grows louder and louder until it’s screaming at me. Ripping my hand out of his jeans, I fall back, breathing hard as he sits up and scoots back on the mattress. Shame eats me up from the inside. I don’t like the way he looks at me. I’ve never been one to care about others’ feelings, but I do care about Cole. I care about him so much that it eats me up inside. I would do anything to get him to stop avoiding my gaze.
He climbs off the bed and walks out without another word, leaving me alone with the mess of emotions inside me. I suck in a breath and count to three. I try so hard to listen to Tiago’s advice: Don’t be clingy. Let him come to you.
But I can’t. My body defeats my brain, and I’m up on my feet, running after him.
I slam him up against the wall outside my room. Cole’s eyes widen at the look of sheer desperation I’m sure is painted on my face. When I try to cup his chin, he turns his head. Fuck me, he could just as well cut me with a knife.
“Please tell me what’s wrong,” I plead.
A muscle tics madly in his jaw. “Nothing is wrong.”
“Nothing is wrong?” I parrot, flicking my eyes between his, searching and hunting for the truth.
“That’s what I said.”
Tiago didn’t offer me any advice on how to deal with a situation like this. He made it sound so easy: ask what’s wrong. But what do I do when I ask what’s wrong and Cole won’t tell me? Like now. What then?
I try to kiss him, but he applies pressure to my chest and moves away. My brows knit together. “Nothing is wrong, huh?”
His jaw tics again, grating on my fucking nerves. Why won’t he just tell me why he’s angry?
He starts to walk away, and I tear at my hair. The fear inside me is quickly morphing and shifting into anger. It takes everything in me not to tackle him to the floor like we’re on the fucking football field. “Why do you always run away?”
Spinning around, his eyes flash with anger. “Now isn’t the fucking time, Blaise. Leave it alone.”
“No, I fucking won’t.” I storm up to him and shove him back. “You won’t talk to me. You say everything is fine. It’s clearly not fine.”
“You’re being paranoid!” he roars, and I stumble back a step.
“Just…” He sounds defeated, his eyes pained. “I’ll see you later, okay.”
This time, when he walks away, I let him.
If he loves me, he’ll come back… That’s what Tiago said.
And if he doesn’t…
I can’t let my thoughts go there.
Two days pass.Cole sleeps in my bed, and then he leaves. What do I do with that? I’m not familiar with the rulebook. We’re backat college. I’m a zombie at the table in the cafeteria, picking at my food, but not eating. I’ve spent the last ten minutes rolling a piece of pasta around the plate.
Tiago winces when he looks at me. I haven’t slept more than an hour here and there. I look like shit.
Glancing behind him when Cole enters the cafeteria with his friends, Tiago communicates silently with Ronnie. An entire conversation passes between them before Ronnie grits his teeth and slides his chair closer. The metal frame scrapes on the floor, and the scent of his clean clothes invades my senses. He rests his arm on the back of my chair. I pause with my fork on the plate, looking at him questioningly, but it’s half-assed. I don’t have it in me to care anymore.
Ronnie glares at Tiago, who gestures widely with his hands. Leaning forward, Ronnie hisses, “I don’t want to get beaten the fuck up, okay. Why don’t you sacrifice yourself for the greater good?”
“Because,” Tiago says, looking past us as he leans across the table, “it’s more believable if it’s you.”
Ronnie looks confused. “Why?”
“I’m too close to Blaise. Best friends.”
