“Why are you going?” he asked.
“To find my father. I think he’s dying.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes searching hers.
She didn’t want to feel anything, but her throat closed up with sorrow. “So am I.”
He reached out to hold her hand, which was nice. By the way the nuns talked, she’d assumed that all boys were awful. But he wasn’t awful. He was like a big puppy, with hands too large for his body. She stared at the river, smiling.
“Do you want to make out?”
She let go of his hand. “What? Why?”
He moistened his lips, self-conscious. “I’ve never kissed a girl before. I’m worried that something will happen to me and I won’t get the chance.”
“How old are you?”
“Fifteen.”
She laughed at this answer. “If you keep asking every girl you meet to kiss you, you’ll get the chance.”
“I don’t ask every girl. You’re the first.”
She was flattered by his attention, foolish as that sounded. He was teen-dream handsome, even with the blackened eye. She’d never kissed a boy, either. He was the first boy she’d held hands with, or had an adult conversation with. They were alone. What if something happened toheron this journey? What if they both died young?
“Okay,” she said, on impulse.
He rubbed his palms on his jeans, as if they were sweaty. Then he leaned toward her. She met him halfway, her heart racing. He touched his lips to hers, tentatively at first. When she didn’t pull back, he cupped her neck gently, urging her closer. She wasn’t sure she wanted his tongue in her mouth, but she liked the feel of his lips against hers. She liked the little huff of breath he made, as if he found her unbearably exciting.
Oh…why not. She let him kiss her again. He wet her lips with his tongue, tasting her. She opened her mouth, curious.
He dove right in at this sign of encouragement. His tongue went way too far, but it was more of an adorable blunder than a deal breaker. She braced her hands on his chest and made a noise of protest, which he seemed to understand. He retreated at once. “Sorry.”
She quieted him with a softer, sweeter kiss. He actually moaned in response. Smothering a giggle, she twined her arms around his neck. He didn’t try the deep tongue thing right away. He sort of sneakily worked up to it; he was a quick study. Before she knew it, she was parting her lips for him, threading her fingers through his hair.
Then she had to stop him, because she liked what he was doing a bit too much. She was willing to kiss a cute boy she’d just met, for posterity or in case they died or whatever, but she wasn’t giving her virginity to him.
She broke the kiss, panting. His hand flexed on her ribcage, as if he was itching to move it upward.
“Can I touch you?” he asked gruffly.
“No.”
“Can I just…hold you?”
She nodded, and he wrapped his arms around her. She laid her head on his chest. His heartbeat thundered against her cheek. After a long time, it slowed. His body calmed but his embrace stayed the same, cradling her as she fell asleep.
