He caught Cam easily.
‘Are you fucking crazy?’ Cam hissed. ‘I said make sure you’re alone.’
Finn didn’t have time for this. ‘Just give it to me. Hurry.’
Cam kept walking. ‘No way. Too risky out in the open.’
A blinding cocktail of rage and desperation consumed Finn. He slammed Cam against the wall. Cam’s eyes flew wide in shock. Finn, much taller and stronger, pinned him with a forearm under his neck and began rifling through his pockets with his free hand. He found the envelope inside Cam’s jacket, tore it out and let the sound technician go.
‘You’re fucking crazy, man,’ Cam spluttered as he regained his breath. ‘Stay the fuck away from me.’
Finn rushed back to his dressing room. He slipped through the door to see Monica still seated where he’d left her. How could he get rid of her without raising suspicions? He didn’t have time to think about it. The cocaine felt like it was glowing white-hot in the pocket of his jeans. So close to redeeming him. So close to bringing him back.
‘Excuse me for a sec,’ he said.
Monica watched him quizzically but didn’t respond.
Finn locked himself in the bathroom. He took the coke out and poured a single measure onto the bench. His hands trembled as he tried to make clean lines with his credit card. A drop of sweat fell from his forehead onto one of the lines. It mixed with the powder, which would make it difficult to snort, so Finn pressed his finger to the damp mixture and rubbed it on his gums. He didn’t have his regular metal straw, so he had to make do with a rolled-up twenty dollar note, just like the very first time.
He bent over to be level with the drugs and reached back with one arm to flush the toilet, his cover story and enough sound to mask him snorting if Monica had come to the door.
The coke in his nostrils was like sucking up the water of life. It buzzed and fizzed and burned a little. But it also rejuvenated, and strengthened and made him eternal.
Finn straightened up, placed both palms flat on the bench and leaned his weight onto them. He lifted his hanging head, his hair across his face, a sheen of sweat causing his skin to sparkle. He breathed in and out deeply as the poison ran through his blood stream like oxygen into a drowning man’s lungs.
Finn smiled. Now he could think clearly. Now he could capitalise on Monica’s feelings and her innate kindness to spin some bullshit story that would allay her concerns.
Now he was alive again.
***
Kelly leaned against Eli’s car in the same car park where she’d begun the deception five weeks, one day and a lifetime ago. She’d chosen this spot to try to minimise the chance of conflict. Yes, it was an ambush, but it was neutral territory. Not his apartment, not hers, where he might be able to dissuade her. To kiss her and hold her and convince her to take the risk. Here, on the damp bitumen under dark skies, it would be clinical. Short, swift and effective.
She knew she had to tell him in person, even though she’d rather send him a text. But she also knew he would turn up at her apartment and wouldn’t leave until they’d seen each other. He was persistent like that. So here she was.
When Eli saw Kelly, he broke into a broad smile. He loped towards her with his baby giraffe gait, his mop of hair bouncing in time with his steps. As he approached, though, the smile faded. He looked around as though searching for a police tail. ‘You shouldn’t be here,’ he said. ‘What if you’re recognised?’
‘As a dark-haired, short-sighted medical student? Highly unlikely, don’t you think?’
‘Fair call. So what are you doing here? How did it go with Michael?’
Eli’s scrubs had a V neck and the portion of his exposed chest was white and unblemished. Kelly wanted to lean into him and kiss that cool, smooth part of his body. Instead, she did what she had come to do.
‘We can’t see each other anymore.’
Eli reacted like he’d been punched in the stomach: his long torso jolted forwards as the breath rushed from his lungs. When he recovered, he said, ‘What? Why not?’
This was going to be the hardest part, to convince him of the lie. ‘My feelings towards you have changed, Eli. It wouldn’t be fair on either of us to keep this relationship going.’
‘Your feelings have changed? Since yesterday?’ Eli was incredulous.
‘I’ve had a lot of time to think. There’s no future for us.’
Eli squinted at her. ‘What did Michael say?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Bullshit. Everything was fine between us and then you saw Michael. Now we’ve suddenly got no future. What did he say?’
