He laid her down on the bed and she immediately rolled from her back onto her side, curling up again just like she had on the couch. She was still wearing her gym shorts and T-shirt. Finn thought about taking her shorts off to make her more comfortable, but that felt like crossing a line. Instead, he drew the sheet up to her shoulders.
Kelly muttered incoherently and began to breathe so deeply, she was verging on snoring.
‘I will not be the one who tells you that you snore,’ Finn whispered with a grin.
A little later, when he was in his own bed, he could still hear her breathing. A rhythmic lullaby that transported him to that delicious half-world between sleep and consciousness where nothing matters and everything is possible. Finn delighted in the freedom, but it never lasted long enough.
He fell hard and deep into a blackout sleep.
Chapter Eight
Kelly was in the hospital toilets, peeing. But every time she peed, she still needed to pee. She was with a patient, then she was back home and peeing again. No matter how long she peed, the pain in her bladder persisted.
She woke suddenly, afraid for a second, unsure where she was. She smelled Finn’s sheets and relaxed, but in mind only – she was absolutely dying to go to the bathroom.
Kelly swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. The dark room spun around her and she placed her palm on the wall to steady herself. Her mind felt detached from her body and she needed a moment to work out what was going on. The bedside clock read 12:27. She was still drunk. And desperate to pee!
Kelly walked deliberately and cautiously out of the room with her arms extended in case she missed any oncoming walls. She was tiptoeing to keep the noise down, but being drunk made balancing much more difficult, so she settled on small and delicate steps instead. The closer she came to the bathroom, the more the pain grew. When she was just a few metres away, she picked up the pace, figuring it would be less disruptive to make a little bit of noise than it would to pee all over the carpet.
In the bathroom, the toilet seat was cool on her legs. She breathed out slowly to try to control the flow, but it came in such a rush of blessed relief that it sounded like a pipe had burst. She giggled.
When she was done – and unencumbered by pain – Kelly listened to the sounds of the apartment that she hadn’t noticed before: the soft hum of the dishwasher; the random crack of the floorboards; the measured and regular breathing from Finn’s room. She stood in his doorway and watched him sleep. He lay on his side, leaning into the bed so he was almost on his stomach. He was shirtless under a grey sheet that fell across his hips. Even in the shadows, Kelly could make out his obliques, his deltoids, his latissimus dorsi. He was such a far cry from the little boy she had first met, yet he was still the same little boy in so many ways. He had been through unthinkable trauma, experienced unbearable grief. And his damaged and confused mind could only escape into the kind of guilt and anxiety that had crippled him mere hours earlier. Her heart ached for his pain and her inability to cure him.
Kelly was thankful she had been here. He usually called her, but she lived with the constant background dread that one day he wouldn’t. One day she wouldn’t know and she wouldn’t be able to talk him down. One day it could all end.
She felt a drop of water on her arm and realised she was crying. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and crept to Finn’s side. Lifted the sheet and did her best to slip into bed without waking him. Her body barely registered on the mattress next to his bulk. She didn’t want to disturb him, but she needed to feel him against her. To reassure herself that he was still there.
She moved inch by inch towards his body. She had left her gym shorts on the bathroom floor, only bothering to keep her underpants on beneath her T-shirt. It was her thigh that made contact with the back of his leg. That was enough. That touch would do. He was there. She could feel him.
Kelly closed her eyes and let her body sink into the bed. She warmed herself in the heat from Finn’s body and fell asleep, knowing she was safe.
And so was he.
Chapter Nine
Friday 20 January
It was highly unusual to be called off shift to meet with the Head of the Department, unless there had been another complaint. But in the week since her last meeting with Michael, Kelly had been on her absolute best behaviour, painstakingly choosing every word she spoke to her colleagues. She was certain nothing she had done could warrant disciplinary action.
But when she entered Michael’s office and saw the other two people sitting there, one either side of Michael, her conviction was shattered. She didn’t know them, but when the non-medical suits came to town, it was never good news. None of them was wearing a mask, which was not technically a breach given they were off the ward, but it felt unusual to be in the hospital and able to see full faces. She removed her own mask, aware that there would be indentation lines running along her cheeks. She wore her mask lines like a badge of honour. These corporate wankers had no idea what she had been through since that fucking pandemic had landed a few years ago. They never would.
Michael beamed a smile at her. ‘Kelly, thanks for joining us.’ He gestured to the man and woman in seats around his desk. ‘This is Juliana, from the hospital’s communications team, and Stephen, the Society’s Director of Corporate Affairs.’
Kelly nodded politely but didn’t shake their hands. Juliana was about Kelly’s age, black hair pulled back tight, too much makeup, a skin-tight navy dress that was totally impractical. Stephen was older, probably mid-fifties, and still in good shape. His full head of dark hair was streaked with grey and he had the smooth complexion of a man not given to excess.
Why were they here? What did the Society of Australian Paediatric Medicinewant with her? And why the communications manager?
‘Stephen and Juliana have been approached by a journalist,’ Michael said. ‘The weekend paper wants to run a feature on the life of a junior doctor and I thought you’d be the ideal candidate.’
Kelly blinked rapidly. ‘What?’
Stephen took over. ‘It’s a great opportunity to showcase the work of the Society in supporting our trainees.’
Juliana smiled at Kelly. ‘And it’ll also be an avenue to promote the Care for our Kids Appeal. We believe building some empathy with the staff will make the public even more likely to donate.’
Kelly swallowed hard to suppress her impulsive reaction:You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
Stephen clasped his hands together, fingers intertwined, and leaned on the desk. ‘From what Michael tells us, yours is a terrific story.’
