Bo heaves in a shaky breath and leans forward to cup my face in his rugged hands. I can’t hold back my own tears at the feeling of his skin on mine, so familiar and soothing. This will be the last time I feel it, won’t it?
And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
He leans in and presses a weak, trembling kiss to my lips, wet with tears. Neither of us deepen it, but I swear I can feel his heart break along with mine when our lips separate.
“I love you, Kenz,” he whispers raggedly. “I love you. Always will.”
And then his hands fall away from my face, and he straightens up, and he walks out of my apartment. No morewords, no teary glance back, no hesitation at the doorstep. Just the clunk of his work boots against my cheap linoleum floors and the soft click of my door closing behind him.
And then nothing.
Just me, on the couch. Alone.
I vaguely recall him saying something about wanting me to be surprised when he told me he loved me. It’s a lot less charming now than it was then.
Guess he got exactly what he wanted.
A whirlwind of emotion tears through me as I slide bonelessly from my coffee table to collapse on the floor. My tears burn with anger and betrayal and sorrow as I shake, my whole body hitching as I sob into the floor. I feel helpless and out of control, and I want to shake sense into the man I love, but there’s nothing to be done.
Knowing that hurts worse than anything else.
Bo doesn’t even understand that he’s missing the truth of the situation, that he’s failing himself more than he could ever fail me or his family. He believes wholeheartedly that he doesn’t have a choice, and the thought makes me burn with fury.
I’ve never hated anyone the way I hate Savannah Ward.
She may as well have stuck a knife in my gut and laughed, but I hate her more for what she’s doing to Bo. She’s going to hurt him and his whole family, all for the sake of whatever sick scheme they’ve worked up this time, and she won’t feel guilty about it for a second.
A scream of pure agony tears from my lungs as I curl into myself on the ground, my heart shattering into a million unfixable pieces around me.
There’s nothing to be done to fix this. To fix me.
All I can do is sit here and sob until I learn to accept it.
Chapter Eighteen
KENZIE
Fuck.
That's all there is to say, I guess.
Fuckity fucking fuck, with a steaming pile of shit heaped right on top.
I'm not doing great. Obviously.
I've been holding it together at work, but my lunch breaks are nothing but tears, and the lilies on my kitchen table died. Just like my relationship with Bo. More than a decade, shriveled up and crumbling to dust as time wears on.
I thought he cared about me enough to at least try. Must have been kidding myself.
“Hey, no frowning,” Oakley scolds me, nudging our shoulders together. “We're here to have fun.”
I look up from the rock I've been flipping over with the toe of my boot and paste on a weak smile. She doesn't push me for more, and I'm grateful for it. The circuit’s in town, and Jamie made a few friends last year while he was still riding. They invited him out to cheer them on, and he and Oakley convincedme to come along. The fresh air is a nice change of scenery from my apartment, and it feels good to get out and do something.
Bo told her everything, and she and Jamie immediately found their way back into town. Oakley’s up in arms over the whole thing, scouring social media and trying to find anything to prove it's a farce. I've overheard her and Bo get in several screaming matches over it, but it all only makes me feel worse.
If he wanted me, he wouldn't be arguing so ardently against fighting for me.
I just need to cut my losses and call it a day.
