Why is this happening?
My vision blurs so much that I can hardly even see a vague outline of where Bo stands in front of me. Breath rushes out of my lungs on something between a sob and a laugh, a noise of pure heartbreak. My lips twitch up at the corners in an instinctive gesture of appeasement as my eyes blow wide. This isn’t the time or place to bare my teeth and show just how scared I am, but I doubt I do a good job of hiding it.
My teeth clack together, just the barest shudder, and I find my eyes glued to a sign swinging in the soft breeze. It’s the onlything I can focus on right now, the only thing that’s stable as the rest of the world staggers and crumbles to pieces around me. I’m pretty sure my heart stopped beating as soon as the first sentence left Bo’s mouth. It’s just a waiting game now—will I pass out from shock before I find something to say? Or will I wake up and find this was all a horrible dream?
The ache beneath my sternum hurts far too much for this to be a dream.
“Kenz, I swear I’m going to figure it out,” he says pleadingly.
“Sorry?”
My voice cracks in at least ten different places over the two syllables, and Bo flinches at the sound of it.
My vision is a little clearer now, the headlights of shock not quite so blinding to the deer of my panic. I can’t just stand in the middle of the road and wait to be hit. I’m already bruised and battered.
“Let me call my dad,” Bo says, reaching out to grasp my wrist. “I want to talk to you about this. I just need to let him know I’ll be gone for a bit.”
I blink at him blankly, my eyes falling to his fingers where they encircle my wrist. Usually, his touch brings warmth and comfort with it, but his hand trembles and is clammy against my skin. I yank out of his hold and raise my wrist to my chest, cradling it there like it’s injured. Maybe it is. I can’t feel anything but agony right now.
“Kenz?”
“I have to go.” The words tumble out over each other, and I trip my way backward. I don’t want to take my eyes off him, the image of genuine concern on his features a balm to the horror rioting in my gut. It’s not enough, and the urge to run wins out. “I’m meeting a friend. We’ll catch up later.”
My words sound brittle even to myself, but I turn tail and flee before I can see what kind of face Bo makes in response tothem. My heart is fragile enough, flaking away at the corners and threatening to shatter entirely. I won’t be able to handle seeing Bo’s face as he tries to apologize.
“Kenzie, wait!” he shouts after me.
How am I supposed to believe him? It doesn’t matter how much I want to trust him anymore.
“Kenzie!”
After all this time, I thought things were finally going right, and now none of it was real. Or maybe it was, and I still wasn’t enough. If he’s telling the truth, that still means he kept it from me until now. How long has he known? He didn’t say anything about when she told him, but I’d be willing to bet it was when he started getting distant. The thought of him knowing before then hurts even worse. Was he keeping Savannah on the back burner in case things didn’t work out between us? Or was he just flat out cheating on me?
Have I been nothing but a plaything this whole time?
I thought better of Bo. He wasn’t that type of guy when we were younger, but it’s been years since I’ve seen him. Time and distance change people, and I’m not the same girl I was when I left for school.
It would be foolish to expect him to be the same man after all this time.
I just never expected this to be the direction he changed in. What do I even say to him, or what should I think?
I have no idea who Bo Montgomery is anymore. If I ever did.
Chapter Eleven
KENZIE
“God,Bo doesn’t tell meanything,” Oakley whines, rolling her eyes in exasperation. “He would hardly say anything other than that you were back in town last time I talked to him. He’s always been awful about answering his phone, so I guess I can’t expect much.”
I wince at that, although she’s just teasing her brother. I’ve been carefully edging around telling her anything that happened recently between the two of us. It’s been ages since I’ve seen her. Now that she’s off at college and living with Jamie, I don’t want to spoil our time together. I wish I could knock back a drink or two to gather some courage, but Oakley’s still underage. It would be rude of me to drink in front of her.
“Yeah, he’s been bad at answering me lately too.” I need to tell her—half the reason I invited her over was because I desperately need her advice—but I feel kind of guilty. I don’t want to seem like I’m badmouthing Bo. “Trouble in paradise, I guess.”
I laugh lamely to distract from the way my face flames in shame, but Oakley pays it no mind. She pulls a blanket offthe back of the couch and drapes it over my shoulders, her brow furrowed in a frown. Even when she was a kid, she was always a good mother hen. It feels ridiculous to be comforted by someone younger than me, especially about something like this. I’m supposed to have my life together by now, not be crying over a boy. I have a career and a place of my own, a plan for my life.
Bo was going to be a nice addition, but I can’t let myself wallow about this.
“What’s going on?” Oakley asks gently. “I may not have any amazing advice to give you, but I can at least lend an ear. Tell me what’s wrong, Kenzie.”
