I let out a soft chuckle, and let myself look at Hudson. My heart saysIf you want to be with the boy you’ve loved your whole life, do it.
I always thought it was stupid when people would ask ‘When was the moment you knew you were in love?’ as if there’s always some big sweeping gesture. With Hudson, I’ve always fallen little by little, slowly over time. Throughout our friendship, I was falling slowly but steadily. The transition from friendship to love was almost imperceptible.
Until now.
I thought I had reached the bottom of our love. I thought, surely, I’ve been falling for so many years I must have reached the end. I was wrong. Because I’ve only reached the precipice, and now I’m in free fall, reaching depths of love for Hudson I never thought possible.
With him, I’ll always be able to be my true self, never masking myself. He’s known me since before I ever cared about how others perceived me.
“I should go back and get my things,” I say, collecting myself, though the thought of facing my father again makes me want to hurl right here on the street.
“Are you sure? I can come back and get your stuff later,” Hudson offers, but I’m already shaking my head. I need to do this. I need to face my parents and show them I’m okay with who I am, and I’m okay with them not accepting me if that’s what it means to be true to myself.
CHAPTER 34
HUDSON
“You’ve been slacking, Hudson,”Cole jeers at me as he winds a heavy firehose back onto the reel on the back of the truck. I’m winding the one on the other side, trying to beat his time, like we always do, even if neither of us says it. There’s a silent understanding between us that whoever does it faster gets the first round at the end of drill. Just like with the food bank fundraiser. In fact, first round is our go-to wager for most of our competitions.
“Been busy,” I reply, trying my hardest not to let him see how winded I am from cranking the handle.
“Yeah, I know what that means.” He raises his eyebrows knowingly, almost reaching the end of his hose. I crank faster. We’ve been asking to upgrade our trucks for ages now, to get the automatic hose reels, but ours are still in relatively good shape, even though they’re old. I’m not complaining about it. I like the games Cole and I play at fire drill. No one else on the squad gets as competitive as he does and it keeps things interesting.
“I’m not skipping drill nights to get some if that’s what you’re thinking.” I would never. I do take this job seriously. The reality is, up until this week, Wren has still been fragile after everything with her job and her parents. I haven’t wanted to leave her on her own.
We haven’t talked about it, but her and I both worry the panic attacks could come back. Though, she hasn’t had one since the night she came over after quitting her job. They’ve stayed away, even though she’s still struggling.
A decision being hard doesn’t mean it’s thewrongdecision. It just means it’s hard. I learned that myself many years ago. Ending things with Wren was the hardest decision of my life, and there were many times it felt like what I was doing was wrong.
And maybe I was, but I can’t entertain that—there’s no point looking backwards, questioning decisions that have already been made. I made it with the knowledge and the resources I had at the time. Still, I can’t help but wonder if Wren would have taken a different path had I not ended it with her. If she would have found something that made her happy, instead of trying to please her family. I seem to tie Wren back to herself, the one person who reminds her who she is.
“Whatever, man. Fire drill is boring as hell without you here. All old guys standing around shooting the shit. We don’t do anyrealdrills when you’re not around.” Cole finishes his hose while I have about a foot left of mine, as usual. I can never seem to beat him. “Better workout those biceps, Landry, or else I’m gonna bankrupt you.” He slaps me on the shoulder as he walks past me and into the hall, leaving me in the garage with all the trucks.
Half an hour later, I swing the door to Jack’s open and am greeted by a raucous noise coming from the crowd inside. There’s hardly an empty seat to be found.
Tables are pushed together and people are crowded around several different areas with board games. It’s the monthly board game tournament Grady holds, and it’s well underway by the time we’ve arrived.
Cole and I scan for an empty seat, and I find a couple open ones at the end of the bar top, but as I make my way over there, my eyes catch on something else. A dark, swishy ponytail, curvy hips swaying to one side as Wren bends down at the pool table in the back. She wields a pool cue like a goddess, and the way her hand wraps around the end of the wooden stick sends a rush of blood to my cock. But when she shoots the ball into a pocket and stands up straight, my gaze stops on something else.
The T-shirt she’s wearing. It’s a familiar one—she must have taken it out of my drawer. It’s my navy blue shirt with the Maltese cross of the firehall on the front left breast, and my name across the back.LANDRY, in all caps, scrawled across Wren’s shoulder blades. The sight of her in it makes my heart swell.
She looks like my teenage dream. She looks so out of my league. But wearing that shirt with my name on it, she also looks a lot like mine.
Cole shakes his head at me with a knowing smile as he follows my stare.
“You’re so fucked, dude,” he says before separating from me to grab the seats at the bar. And it’s like Wren has thismagnetic pull. Without even hesitating, I walk over to where she’s leaning on her pool cue.
I wrap my arm around her waist and bring my face next to hers, whispering in her ear.
“I gotta say, Miller, seeing you wearing my name does something to me.”
She throws her head back and laughs, and I’m the luckiest man in the world to be seen with her in public like this. We haven’t exactly announced our relationship—my brothers don’t even officially know we’re back together, but Grady is within eyesight from the bar, and a quick glance over my shoulder confirms he’s seen me. He gives his head a similar shake to the one Cole gave me, and now they’re both looking over here. Grady mouths the wordfuckedlike they’ve talked about it already.
Whatever. They can have their opinions about our relationship. Some people are firmly in the camp of once an ex, always an ex. I used to think the same thing. Until now. As it turns out, sometimes when time changes people, it changes them for the better. It’s me and Wren against the world now.
She turns to face me and throws her free arm around my neck, the other still resting on the pool cue.
“I thought you might like it. It’s fitting, seeing as we’re officially teammates now.” She plants a kiss on my mouth, a quick one, and it leaves me wanting. It makes me want to scoop her up and carry her right out of here, go directly home, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. It makes me want to be alone with her. It makes me want to fuck the shit out of her.
