It seems so childish now. It all happened so long ago.
This time, I don’t feel the urge to collect every single detail about his life and ruminate on what it means—he could be happily married with kids, and it wouldn’t bother me one bit.
“Honestly, I have no idea how that interaction would even go,” I admit to Poppy with an indifferent shrug. “It might be best if I avoid him. I can be the bigger person about this. It’s behind me now.” My chin lifts as I shift my coffee cup in my hands. “I have risen above.”
“Right,” Poppy says, her eyes squinting at me. She’s punctuated the word, but I know she wants to say more.
“Come on, out with it,” I coax.
“Nothing.” She shakes her head slightly as her eyes cast downward, her dark brown bob swishing above her shoulders. “I just think it’s going to be impossible to avoid him. It’s a small town, Wren. You must know you’ll see him eventually. And what happened between you two … it would be hard for anyone to let that go.”
“Well, I have,” I say. My words have a mildly deceitfulring to them, but I hope Poppy doesn’t pick up on it. “And I’m here to focus on work, and spend time with you. I won’t have an opportunity to run into him.” My plan is weak at best; one poorly timed trip to the grocery store could be the end of it.
My phone chimes from inside my purse, and I pull it out to check my texts. My boss has been checking in incessantly about this meeting, asking whether I’m prepared—micromanaging at its best. I’m the only one at VanTek who seems to have someone always breathing down their neck, and I know being the only woman at the firm has something to do with it.
But it’s not Rick texting me, it’s my mother.
MOM
Can you pick up some vegan whipped cream on your way home? I’m making a special dessert for Claire and she’s a vegan now.
I don’t hide my eye roll—I don’t need to in front of Poppy. She knows all about my sister Claire and the way my parents treat her like she’s God’s gift to the earth. I turn my phone around to show Poppy the message rather than explaining, and Poppy’s expression flattens.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She scoffs. “Claire was over last week. It’s like a local celebrity coming to town. Jesus. A special dessert?”
“Yep. Classic Brenda Miller treatment for you. It’s always about Claire.” I don’t hide the disdain in my voice. This isn’t about whipped cream. The whipped cream is a symbol, itrepresents all the ways my parents have treated Claire as the obvious favourite in the family. “Want to come for dinner tonight? Put on a long, dark wig and pretend to be me? I doubt they would even notice.”
“Mmm. Yeah. Pass. I’d rather have every hair plucked out of my head one by one than sit there and listen to your parents gush over Claire.”
“I’ll have to tape my eyeballs in place, so they don’t roll right out of my head.” I flip my wrist over and check the time again. “Shit, I better get going if I’m going to hit the grocery store and make it to my meeting. I doubt I’ll have time to go after. Unless I want to be late.” Being late to a Miller family dinner is like a suicide mission.
Poppy grimaces, wrinkling her nose.
“What now?” I ask.
“I wouldn’t go to the grocery store today if I were you.”
“I don’t have a choice, do I?” I click open my phone and add ‘Get Vegan Whipped Cream’ to the bottom of my to-do list. Right after, ‘Avoid Ex’ and ‘Get Promotion.’
“If your plan is to avoid Hudson”—There’s that pesky racing pulse at his name again—“then I would rethink your plans. Today is the firehall boot drive.”
I snap my eyes back to Poppy, and my mouth opens in a silentahh. I’ve heard through the grapevine over the years of Hudson’s involvement with the firehall. Not to mention, his antics at the boot drive to raise the most money.
Last year, Poppy asked me if it was okay if she baked some pies for him, because he was letting passersby pie him in the face for ten bucks. He’s never changed. He’s still playing games, still in the same place as he was when I left.
Meanwhile I’ve put in blood, sweat and tears to get to where I am today. It does sort of soothe my bruised ego to think I can revisit my hometown having made something of myself.
“I can hit it on the way home. Hopefully they’re gone by then. Being late to dinner is probably still better than running into …him.” I pull out my compact mirror and my favourite lipstick to touch it up.Rival Rouge. It’s always made me feel powerful, even on the days I feel anything but. I figure I could use that energy today.
“Good idea,” Poppy agrees.
When I walk outside again, my primary goal is to make it to my car before I get spotted. The grocery store is on the opposite corner to Thistle + Thorne, and that will put me within Hudson’s eyeline, if he’s still there.
The crowd on the street corner makes sense now and, judging by the number of people still gathered there, he’s there too. I’m nearing my car when my phone vibrates from in my purse.It better not be fucking Rick.
I keep my head down so as not to be noticed and pull out my phone to see that it’s not my boss, but my mother’s name lighting up my screen again.
MOM
