I’ve been oddly nervous about having them all here, and the energy that flooded my backyard with Ally and Spencer’s presence is almost intimidating. I can feel myself shrinking down until Ally approaches me and pulls me in for the same kind of hug she gave Poppy.
“Wren! It is so nice to finally meet you,” Ally says, her voice like a joyful song that instantly puts a smile on my face. “We’ve heard so much about you.”
Spencer follows suit, her arms wrapping around me and squeezing me tight.
“So much!” Spencer echoes. My eyes flick over to Poppy, who is beaming watching the three of us together.
“Good things, I hope?” I say as a question directed at Poppy. “She has a lot of dirt on me from our teen years.”
“Oh, not from Poppy. I mean from the Landry boys. Jesus, they do not let up about you if Hudson is around,” Ally says casually.
I almost choke on my own tongue, and suddenly my mouth feels dry. I attempt to swallow and clear my throat to compose myself, squeaking out a “What?”
“They tease him mercilessly about you. He must be overjoyed to have you back in town,” she adds. Clearly, Poppy failed to let them in on how I feel about Hudson. About our complicated history. Overjoyed? If he is overjoyed, he certainly doesn’t show it. There’s been this tension betweenus ever since I showed up here, like we’re constantly butting heads. Until yesterday.
“I don’t know … we don’t exactly see eye to eye on how things ended between us,” I reply.
Truthfully, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since he was last here, sitting on this very patio. And that we kind of … had fun? I didn’t think I would ever let myself have fun around Hudson again.
Once you get your heart broken by someone in such a catastrophic way, you don’t exactly feel like joking around, let alone spending one-on-one time with them. I haven’t wanted to even be in the same room as Hudson, and yet, here he was at my house, and things felt sort of normal between us. Comfortable.
The way his calloused hand brushed my face as he made me look at him and reassured me he would help. His touch was a grounding force, and I had to look away. Allowing myself to be comforted by him, that was … terrifying in and of itself. I can’t go there with Hudson. I can’t allow myself to feel safe around him. The last time I did, well … it ended with me on the floor of my dorm, sobbing into the phone to Poppy.
I turn towards the patio table, trying to hide the way my face has turned the colour of an heirloom tomato, and gesture towards the pitcher. “Sangria?” I offer, trying to change the topic, and if we’re going to do any more talking about Hudson, I’m going to need some alcohol in my system.
The girls all nod, and I pour each of them a glass, passing them around. They’re all sprawled on my parents’ loungers, except Poppy, who is sitting cross-legged on the outdoor rug.We cheers to new friends and the first sip of wine hits, taking my anxious edge off.
“God, it is so good to be able to have a drink again. It’s the first time I’ve been out since having Hazel,” Ally says. From what Poppy told me, she and Mason welcomed their baby girl recently, probably around the same time I came to town.
“How are you feeling now?” Poppy asks, and Ally moves her head from side to side as if to sayso-so. The blonde bun on her head secured with a lavender scrunchie bobs.
“It’s not easy, but we’re finding our new normal. Hazel smiled for the first time the other day, and it makes it all worth it. It’s like I instantly forget how bruised and battered my vag was for the last few weeks.” Ally chuckles as she explains, but we all wince at the thought. “It’s better now, thank God. And Mason adores being a girl dad.”
Imagining Mason as a dad at all feels strange—he was always such a closed-off grump—but Ally and Hazel have managed to break through his tough exterior.
“It’s giving Grady ideas. If he spends any more time with Hazel, he’s going to have untreatable baby fever.” Spencer rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling, as if she doesn’t want to admit she likes the thought of having a family, too.
“Are you guys going to …?” Poppy asks, reserved excitement brightening her eyes.
“Maybe one day,” Spencer says softly, sweeping her auburn waves over on shoulder. “I still have a lot of shit to work through before I’ll be ready to bring my own child into the world. I would like to, though.”
Again, I fill in blanks from what Poppy toldme, about how Spencer had sworn off all relationships last year, and about how Grady managed to break through those defences. If there was anyone who could do it, it would have been him. Grady’s always had such a soft, kind way about him behind his burly, tattooed exterior.
Ally places a hand on Spencer’s shoulder.
“You’ve come a long way in the last few months, Spence,” she says, and the genuine look on her face, the comforting tone of her voice, makes my heart clench. Except for Poppy, I’ve never had ‘girlfriends’ like this. Poppy and I kept up our friendship through FaceTime, so I never branched out and formed deep connections at university. I’ve only ever viewed other women, other people in general, as my competition.
But I don’t feel that around these women. They seem so comfortable with each other, not jealous or competitive. Like they genuinely care for one another and support each other unconditionally.
“What about you, Wren?” Ally asks, and I shoot her a quizzical look. “I heard you had a medical emergency after the public forum the other night. Are you okay?”
“You heard about that?” My cheeks heat, and my heart rate picks up, thinking about the news of my episode outside the public forum spreading through town. More people who saw me in such a vulnerable state.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry, Hudson texted Mason to see if there was anything he could do for you,” she explains, sitting up on her elbows on the reclining lounger. I relax a little when I remember Poppy told me Ally is a nurse. Her brow isfurrowed, but her gaze is soft. Like she genuinely cares. “He seemed quite distressed. I don’t think he slept at all.”
“I’m sure he slept fine.” I dismiss the idea that Hudson would ever be so worried about me he would lose sleep.
“No, he was really worried. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like that,” Ally says, picking up a cracker from the charcuterie plate I put out and shoving it in her mouth. I don’t respond, because Hudson doesn’t seem like the type to worry about anything, let alone me.
