Hudson gives her a look that saysOh yeah?
“No, no, no. This is between us,” I interrupt, waving my hand between Hudson and me. “And it’s against the rules.”
“What rules?” Hudson looks stunned, like it’s surprising to him that I’m taking this seriously. I don’t care if this is some childish game to him. This is the future of my career. And we did not agree on getting help. “We never made any rules, so if I want to have Emma’s help, then Emma can help.”
Emma looks like a deer caught in the headlights, wide eyes darting between us.
“It’s okay. I don’t want to get in between …”
“No, Emma. Don’t.” Hudson turns to her and places a hand on her shoulder. “I would love your help with the design.” He shoots me a glare out of the corner of his eye as he says it.
Suddenly it feels like there’s a little less air in here, like the walls are closing in on me. My chest is feeling tight. I catch myself gnawing on one of my fingernails and quickly shove my hand in my pocket.
“Excuse me,” I say, pushing past Emma and through the crowd of people until I find the door out of City Hall into the parking lot. I breathe in a gulp of air, but I still can’t seem to get enough. I find a bench to sit on for a moment, and I rest my hands on my knees, thinking if I lean forward, I’ll be able to catch my breath.
But I can’t, and the edges of my vision start to blur.
CHAPTER 13
WREN
My mind spinswith the events of the evening. This is the worst time to have one of my weird breathing attacks. Lately they seem to come on at the most inopportune moments, throwing me off my game right when it counts.
My chest heaves again, my breathing picking up its pace, shallow and rapid.
Focus, Wren. Focus on what you have to do. I try to bring my mind back to centre, back to what I need to accomplish. Which is more challenging than I anticipate given the thoughts swirling around in my consciousness, distracting me at every turn.
They keep going back to Hudson. The way he stood in front of the crowd and commanded attention, the presentation he had meticulously curated and delivered, maybe even better than I could have. The fact that he now has Emma helping him with his design. The way he looked at her tonight, how his face lit up when he saw her.
I can tell myself all day that I don’t care if Hudson has moved on, that it doesn’t bother me that he’s found someone new after all these years, but that sentiment wars with the feeling I had when Poppy let it slip that he’s been single all this time. The glimmer of hope that rose in my chest, that he might still care about me.
It’s all overwhelming. Hudson, the forum, all of it. I tuck my knees up on the bench and rest my elbows on them, running my fingers through my hair.
“Wren?” A woman’s soft and soothing voice cuts through the ringing in my ears. “Wren, are you okay?”
Emma’s face comes into my field of vision, and I try to focus on her as I nod. She sits next to me on the bench and places a gentle hand on my back.
“I’m fine,” I say, but in my head, I’m wondering if I need to stop by the clinic sooner rather than later. Whatever this shortness of breath issue is, it’s not getting better, it’s getting worse.
“Are you sure? You look like you’re suffocating,” Emma says. “I can call someone for help if you want.”
I shake my head, no.
“It happened the other night when my mom had cheap candles burning, and I think Doris’s perfume got to me in there. It was choking,” I explain. My words come out slightly stilted.
I have the sudden urge to get up and run away from here, run until I get home and can hide. But talking to her is making my breathing slow, and I finally manage to take in a full breath. Her face is laced with concern, a wrinkle in her brow above her deep blue eyes.
Goddammit. I really,reallywanted to hate Emma. It would have made things so much easier. But here she is, being nice to me, and although I’ve been telling myself she’s doing me a favour by dating Hudson, now the thought of them together stings. Because she’slovely.She’s kind. She’s warm, and she’s everything I’m not.
Hudson jogs over to us.
“There you are,” he says as he approaches. I assume he’s more concerned about where Emma disappeared to, but when he stops next to us, he stands beside me. “Is everything okay?” His blue eyes peer into mine when I look up at him.
I nod.
“Of course,” I say. I straighten my shoulders, fighting my desire to curl up in a ball, or flee, or some combination of the two.
I need to get the fuck out of here and go home. The emotions bubbling to the surface are too much to deal with, too much to process. I need a quiet space to lie down and rest.
