D smiled. "Thanks, and for the record, I'm not using you for sex. Maybe the first few times, but not now. I mean, yeah, I still crave it, need it, but with you, it's not the same. I'm not in it just to prove something. I'm not with you because of what happened to me. It was like that with others, but with you, I'm here because I want to be, because I care about you. Our sex is amazing, but it's not why we're together. I need you to know that."
"I do. If it was just sex, we wouldn't have even had this conversation. I wouldn't have told you my real name, and most of all, I wouldn't care if you fucked others. I really don't know what this is between us. I don't have a lot to compare it to other than a really bad six-year relationship that I stayed in only because it was comfortable. He hated everything about me. We both know how that ended up. With you, it's different. There's passion, need, want, and dreams. It's not just going through the motions like it was with Chad."
"Well, you have even more to compare it to than I do. I just know I like being with you. I trust you, and for me that's huge. I don't know how to make this work, I just know I want it to. The first step of trying to do that for me was letting you know about my past." D wasn't sure if he should admit so much about his feelings for Jeremy. What if it scared him off?
"Thank you for letting me know," Jeremy said. "But us being happy and making it work wasn't contingent on telling me all your secrets. I'm glad I know. I think it helps me understand you. Not that I needed to. I like you for who you are. I don't need explanations why you're that way."
D leaned against Jeremy. "I needed you to know. Anyway, you know the rest pretty much. I joined the Army, met Xander, who helped me get through my shit at least enough so I didn't kill myself. We had plans when we came home. We were going after his father first, then going after mine next. Bryon stopped us. Somehow, he knew who we were. To this day I'm not sure how, but that's just how Bryon is. He knows things. Reads people. He brought us onto the team and we haven't looked back since. Bryon offered to go after my father, and I thought about it. Revenge sounded sweet, but that would have been all it was. There were no signs he was hurting any other children, and by that time, I just wanted to forget. I focused on my new life with the team."
"I'm glad you didn't go after him. He deserves it, your mom too, but I think that might have haunted you worse in the long run." Jeremy kissed D's temple. "Want another beer?"
D sat up straight. "Yeah, and I'm hungry. You grab the beer and I'll grab the steaks. We can head out back and get them on the grill." He was glad that Jeremy wasn't focusing on what happened in his past. It made it easier. He didn't want pity or even long conversations about how strong he was. He'd had those with himself a million times. He just needed Jeremy to know. It was that simple. Now that he did, they could move forward. No secrets, no lies, nothing to keep them from creating their new lives together if they wanted. It wasn't easy, but like everything else in his life, he'd do it one step at a time. If Jeremy stuck around for it, even better.
