“The psychiatrist?”
“Yeah. She’s coming to town.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. But apparently she’s flying in, and she’ll be here this afternoon. She’s invited me to dinner.”
“Free dinner is always good,” I say.
But I want to smack myself. Angie doesn’t have to worry about paying for food or anything. She’s a trust-fund baby.
I’ll do well to remember that.
She begins to dress, so I do the same.
I want to say something to her. I want to tell her that this meant something to me. But honestly, I don’t know what to say.
The fact that it’s all so wrong still lies heavy on my mind.
And the feelings that are creeping up on me—things that I haven’t felt in so long, maybe never felt—have me disoriented.
“See you later, Angie,” I mumble, forcing a smile onto my face.
She returns it, but her eyes are distant. She’s already preoccupied with thoughts of her visiting aunt.
She leaves the lab first, while I stay behind for another fifteen minutes to keep up appearances. I look around. The cadavers no longer seem to be judging me.
No.
I’m only judging myself.
And the fact is that Angie being a student isn’t the thing that’s weighing the most on my mind.
No.
What’s weighing most on my mind is that I’m feeling something new. Something more intense than I’ve ever felt.
And Lindsay didn’t cross my mind once.
As I leave the lab, I feel a cold wave of loneliness. I shake my head, swallowing down the lump in my throat. It’s not like Angie and I are dating or anything.
Do I want that?
There was a time when I was certain I’d never be with a woman again. I’d live out my life in solitude.
But now? If Angie weren’t my student, I believe I’d want to pursue this. Find out if we’re compatible in ways other than physically.
I trudge down the hall, my steps heavy and slow. Laughter and chatter from students fill the hallways as I make my way to my office.
The brass plaque stares at me.
Dr. Jason Lansing, Professor of Anatomy
It may as well say Dr. Jason Lansing, once an up-and-coming general surgeon.
Dr. Jason Lansing, who may not get the surgery he needs because he’s a fucked-up mess.
Dr. Jason Lansing…who may be falling in love with a student.
