Sam and his lush hair are freeze-framed. Garrison waited for me to watch the rest. I feel his arm wrapped comfortingly around my back, and he watches as I sit further up.
Actually, he sits up with me. “You okay?”
I push up my glasses.
Garrison licks his dry lips. “You know I wouldn’t do anything…”
“Yeah, I know.”Just friends.My heart sinks. Do I want him to do something? Partially, maybe, but not at the cost of what we have now. “I’m just surprised.”
Garrison tenses. “At what?”
“That…that I’d fall asleep on you.” I’m being painfully honest, but dropping all these walls with someone has almost felt cathartic in a way. “I’ve never done that before. With anyone else, I mean.”
His lip quirks.
“What?” I ask, his rare expression stealing my breath.
“I like being your first.” Garrison almost smiles. “Ones are my thing, remember?”
“And zeroes,” I remind him about the other number in computer language.
“Fuck the zeroes.” Garrison balances his remote on his kneecap, and I’m more aware that he’s probably been with many girls like this. It may be my first, but it’s far from his. Still, he’s sweet and slow with me, and I don’t understand why.
“Why are you so nice to me?” I ask.
It takes him aback. He’s confused, but he answers as well as he can, “Because it’d be impossible for me to be a dick to you. Is that what you’re asking?”
“You just…you care about what’s too far for me, and not many do.”
“That,” Garrison says in realization. “Yeah…” He licks his lips again, and my shyness skyrockets, tucking my arms around myself. I’m more open than usual because he’s been so vulnerable with me.
Garrison retracts his arm, but we’re still breathlessly close. “I understand what it’s like to be pushed out of personal boundaries, and I wouldn’t do that to someone. I’m not gonna do that to you,ever.”
My chest swells, and my smile overwhelms my face.Stop smiling.I try to bury my face in my hand. God, I’m such a dork.
“Can I hug you?” he asks in a breath.
I nod without removing my hand, and instantly, his arms extend around my shoulders, his biceps flexing. I reciprocate, but my arms curve around his chest much looser and lighter. He squeezes like he’s mastered the art of hugging long ago.
We’re still sitting on the beanbags, but the position isn’t awkward. He holds me against his body like that’s where he wants me to be.
My heart thuds harder.
I feel so safe with him, and I see that he feels equally safe with me. Comforted. At ease. He only draws back when I descend into my head and overthink about my actions. My limbs stiffen, and he retracts his arms.
“You know,” he says, “I didn’t even realize how unhappy I was with all my huge birthday parties until now.”
“What’s so different?”
“You.” He nearly smiles. “One real friend instead of a hundred horrible ones.”
I’m about to reply, but my phone buzzes in my backpack. I give him a look likeone secondand I scoot forward and dig through the backpack’s contents. I find my cell and gape at the time.
Two in the morning.
Maya has sent me four texts.
Maya:Are you okay? It’s getting late, and don’t you have school tomorrow?
