With that, he forced himself to turn and walk away, wondering silently why his heart was beginning to fill with a determination to return to her side already. Yes, she was beautiful and yes, he found himself sympathetic and even a little guilty for what she was enduring at present – but was there something more there? And if there was, then what precisely was he meant to do about it?
Chapter Six
“It is good to be recognized, at least.”
Rachael smiled at Miss Bosworth, one of the newest wallflowers who was now standing by Lady Alice. It had been a month since her return to London and their little band of wallflowers now numbered five.
“Though to be recognized for the wrong reasons is hardly fair.”
“Indeed.” Miss Bosworth sighed, shaking her head. “I am glad that we have all decided that to push ourselves forward into society is something we ought to do, however. I have no desire to stand back, to let the shadows reduce me to nothing but a blur of black and grey and to have society ignore my presence.”
Rachael considered this, and then found herself nodding.
“I must admit that I agree wholeheartedly. It is very difficult to maintain, however, is it not? I have found this last sennight that I have garnered nothing but dark looks, with lips curling and eyes narrowing.”
Lady Alice smiled ruefully.
“I will admit to that also, though I have done my best to ignore it. If society is to see us as we are, then we must forceour presence upon them. It is clear that they do not much like it, however!”
“I care very little as to whether or not they like it,” Lady Frederica declared, with a toss of her head. “We have friends here. They may be few in number, but we do have them! There are a few gentlemen, and one or two ladies who will acknowledge us. The gentlemen who dance with us seem to me to be the very best sort of gentlemen.” Tilting her head, Rachael looked back at Lady Frederica who, seeing her look, laughed and shook her head. “No, I am not about to fall in love with any of them, if that is your question,” she said, as Rachael smiled at her. “I know all too well that, whilst a gentleman might be kind, he will not have any intention of marrying a wallflower. To take tea with one of us would be shocking enough!”
“I suppose that is true.” Rachael smiled to herself as she remembered how Lord Blackmore had spoken to her so kindly the previous week, how he had taken her hand and held it tightly for a few moments. It had been a gesture of comfort, of encouragement, she was sure, but all the same, there had been a warmth in her heart which had caught her unawares. When she had looked into his eyes, when she had seen the gentleness in his expression and heard him speak so softly to her, she had felt her heart quicken. It was the first time that a gentleman had ever shown any sort of interest in her but, as she had reminded herself furiously, Lord Blackmore was doing it all simply to be kind. Evidently, seeing how differently she was being treated by thetonin comparison to him had been enough for him to take action, to truly feel for her and thus, that was what he was doing. The reason for his ball was, of course, to quash the rumor that he had no coin whatsoever – something that was already beginning to take place now that invitations had gone out – and his desire to not only invite her to join him, but also to dance with her, came from an eagerness to be of aid to her as she battled thewhispers which still clung to her. There was nothing more than that to his desire, she was sure, and yet her thoughts continually threatened to pull in a different direction altogether.
“Though it is good of Lord Blackmore to invite us all to his ball.”
Hearing his name, Rachael jumped slightly as she came back to the conversation, having been lost in her own thoughts on that very gentleman.
“Yes, it is.”
“Though it is a shame that there are still such rumors about him,” Miss Fairley sighed. “There are still those who believe that he is entirely without coin, that this ball is nothing more than a sham.”
Rachael laughed and shook her head.
“Do they expect to turn up to his townhouse and see nothing there? The house empty, the ballroom dark and Lord Blackmore to be entirely absent?”
“Mayhap.” Miss Fairley chuckled quietly. “It is a foolish thing to believe, I know. Though I do not understand why someone would begin that rumor about him in the first place.”
“Nor do I,” Rachael agreed, a frown replacing her smile as she considered. Though she herself was caught up in the rumor, Rachael had been wondering why yet another piece of gossip had been started about Lord Blackmore. From what she knew, he was a fine, upstanding gentleman and yet this was now the second rumor which had been about him. “It is as though someone is determined to demean him, to ruin his character in the eyes of theton, though I cannot imagine why.”
“Nor I.” With a slight lift of her shoulders, Lady Frederica turned her head to look at the many guests behind them. “Who can understand why thetonact in the way that they do? Mayhap someone simply found enjoyment in preparing a particular bit of gossip and chose Lord Blackmore merely because they could.”
Rachael’s stomach twisted, her heart sinking.
“Mayhap. It seems a great shame to try to ruin a gentleman’s reputation for the sake of a little entertainment.”
“And your own reputation also,” her friend reminded her, as the other wallflowers nodded. “You have not had any more encounters with Lady Tabitha, I hope?”
Wincing, Rachael recalled the moment when she had made to step into a bookshop, only for Lady Tabitha to step out first. The scathing look which had been sent in Rachael’s direction had gone directly to her heart, but she had forced herself not to respond to it by letting her expression change. Instead, she had lifted her chin, looking back into Lady Tabitha’s hazel eyes, and had bid her a hearty, ‘good afternoon’.
That had been a mistake. What had followed had been a tirade of sharp words which had thrown themselves at Rachael and brought her a great deal of pain. It had centered solely on how Rachael ought not to be present in London, how she should have remained back at her father’s estate and found a simple gentleman to marry, rather than returning to face her shame here. Rachael had found enough strength to protest, to state quite clearly that she had done nothing wrong and to suggest, boldly, that those who believed such rumors were rather foolish. This had brought yet more stinging condescension with it, though Rachael had chosen not to stand and allow the lady’s tirade to continue. Instead, she had spoken a loud, ‘good day, Lady Tabitha’ and had walked into the bookshop, leaving her mother to follow her. Once inside, she had dissolved into tears, though her mother had done her best to comfort her, assuring her that she had spoken well, and done nothing wrong.
It had not lessened the pain.
“I have not spoken with her since that day,” she said, as Lady Frederica scowled, clearly recalling what Rachael had told them about what had taken place. “And I have no intention of doing soeither, though I cannot say what Lady Tabitha’s intentions are! Mayhap she intends to come and find me and throw yet more upon my head!”
“Then you would wish to know if she were to approach?” Lady Alice’s gaze narrowed, and Rachael made to look over her shoulder, only for Lady Alice to shake her head no. “She is present. I can see her looking over at us, though she has not taken a step closer to us as yet.”
Rachael sighed.
