A small smile touched Lord Campbell’s mouth as Adam twisted his head, shooting a sharp gaze toward him.
“Really? That has come about because you spoke to Miss Millington, has it not?”
Lord Campbell nodded.
“Yes, it has. I found her advice very different from what I thought I wished to do, and thus, understanding myself a little more because of her remarks, I now choose to do as she suggested. You may be surprised to hear it, but I believe that I find myself the better for it.” There was no relief in Adam’s heart over the statement. Instead, he simply shook his head. “You do not think me wise.”
“I cannot, and will not, tell you what to do.” Adam spread out his hands for a moment. “I am only concerned that you will be caused additional pain by following a path that brings you near to the lady again.”
Lord Campbell shrugged.
“All the same, I am considering giving the connection a chance to flourish again, if she will have me.” The shock of this ricocheted against Adam’s chest and he had to fight to catch his breath. Seeing it, Lord Campbell chuckled. “I have shocked you again, I see.”
“Certainly you have.” Taking another few seconds, Adam swallowed hard before choosing his words carefully. “My dear friend, I must advise against it. That young lady injured you so severely, and in a way which does not seem to heal. Can you truly put yourself in danger of that again? Surely the injury this time will be so severe, it may be the end of you!”
Much to his surprise, Lord Campbell chuckled.
“You think that I shall fade away? Crumble to dust?” he suggested, as Adam grimaced. “I am not teasing you, my friend. I understand that your concern is genuine, but I must speak from my heart. Indeed, I am certain that I will wither away and die if I do not give my heart what it desires.”
“And what does it desire?”
With a sigh, Lord Campbell smiled softly.
“It desires Miss Barrett, as it has always done.” There was nothing Adam could say to this. After all, who was he to question a man’s heart? All the same, he considered, looking away, this was nothing but foolishness. Yes, he was sure that what Lord Campbell felt was a deep affection that was true and sincere. But how could such a deep affection overlook such a great injury? It made very little sense and again, simply confirmed to Adam that to permit his heart such feelings would bring him nothing but sorrow and frustration. “You are not going to ask me what I intend to do, then?” Lord Campbell arched an eyebrow as Adam shot him a look. “I have been speaking with her, as you know.”
“And what has she to say for herself?”
Lord Campbell chuckled.
“Very little other than to apologize,” he told him, making Adam’s surprise grow rapidly. “Miss Barrett is truly sorrowful over her decision. There is no obvious answer about whether she wishes to bring our connection back again but, certainly, she does want very much to express her regret.”
“And you take her words to be truthful?”
“Of course I do.” Lord Campbell shrugged his shoulders. “Why should I not?” Adam’s expression answered Lord Campbell’s question without him having to say anything. To his thinking, there could be many motivations for a young lady to apologize to a gentleman she had hurt. As yet, Miss Barrett was unwed and had not joined in matrimony with Lord Westerton, as had been expected - which meant that she was, again, looking for a husband. Would it not be easy enough for her to climb back into the affections of Lord Campbell and secure herself a very happy position without too much effort? After all, they had rubbed along together very well indeed before Lord Westerton’s appearance. Perhaps she was hoping it could be so again. “You have your reasons to doubt her, I can see, but you will not speak them, though I can clearly see your disinclination towards trusting what she says.” Lord Campbell rolled his eyes. “I do not know whether to be pleased or irritated.”
Adam smiled gently.
“Believe me, my friend, you do not wish to hear all that I have to say.”
“Then I suppose I should be thanking you.” With a sigh, Lord Campbell closed his eyes for a moment. “Love is something you simply refuse to consider any longer, is it not? You have set your mind on the idea that all such affection, or even thetalkof love, is nothing more than idiocy. You see it as being something which will only bring pain or detriment with it.”
“And as a frippery.” Adam remained adamant in his view of such things, not holding back the truth from his friend. “A word that is so often bandied about by many, but means very little to them. It seeks to capture those within its grasp and bind them until their hearts are either broken or their emotions have run dry.” His shoulders lifted. “I wrote as much when I responded to the letter in ‘The London Ledger’.”
At this, Lord Campbell stopped short.
“‘The London Ledger’?” he repeated with eyes wide with surprise. “I did not think that you read such a publication.”
“It was thrust upon me,” Adam answered with a slightly grim smile. “But… you must read it, for you appear to know what I speak of?”
Lord Campbell nodded.
“I do, on occasion. It can be lighter, and more entertaining fare than the usual newspapers. So yes, I did see the young lady’s letter, seeking love. That is, I assume, the letter you refer to?”
“Yes, it is, and I did reply, and have not had any response in return, although…” Wincing, he looked away for a moment. “I may not have been in the very best state of mind when I wrote my response to it. I did write rather harshly. The specifics of which I cannot clearly recall, but I believe that I stated that the call for such a gentleman was idiocy and would bring the lady nothing but disappointment.”
“Then let us hope that whoever wrote such a letter receives many more positive replies and ignores your rather callous one.”
For whatever reason – and for the first time since he had recalled what he had done - Adam began to wonder if he had done wrong. Guilt began to wind its way around his heart, and he frowned, heavily. It was a little too late to take back what he had written, but for the first time, he began to consider what the reaction of the young lady would have been when she read those words. Guilt pushed down heavily upon him, and he looked away.
