“Oh, of course.”
A whirlwind of anticipation blew around her as, for the final time, she broke the seal and spread out the letter, expecting there to be yet more of the same - an expression of a kindred spirit and a similar hope.
Instead, her heart crumpled in on itself as she read the few short lines. They were not spoken with any great darkness, nor a desire to cause pain, but rather spoke in clear, sharp statements. First, the letter told her that her desire for a match of affection was simply foolishness. If there was such a thing as a genuine love between two people, it was entirely by chance and could not be expected to grow simply by the word of someone alone. Love in itself, he said, was most likely a fleeting emotion, and easily removed from oneself. Secondly, this gentleman practically berated her for stating that she had a suitable dowry and came from a titled family, with a highly regarded father at the head of it, forthatwas what gentlemen sought out. Thirdly, he told her, those who responded and claimed to be seeking the same as she was not telling her the truth. They sought her dowry, her beauty, her family status, and nothing more.
He did not sign his name and, as she finished her reading of the letter, tears began to sting her eyes.
“Good gracious, Miss Millington!” Lady Yardley set her tea down quickly, making the cup rattle in the saucer as she got to her feet. “Whatever has happened?”
“You may read it for yourself if you wish.”
A little surprised that tears were now clogging her throat, she handed the letter to Lady Yardley and, blinking rapidly, picked up her tea again, attempting to dismiss the sharp pain which had plunged so deeply into her heart.
Lady Yardley sat back down slowly, reading the letter carefully.
“Goodness, this is nothing but brokenness speaking,” she said, firmly, looking back at Constance. “Whoever this gentleman is, he writes from a place of pain, I think.” Her voice was quiet, although her eyes narrowed a little as her gaze returned to the letter. “Although why he should think to take upon himself such a task as this is quite beyond me! Mayhap he believes that he is doing you a great service in telling you that you ought to disbelieve any gentleman who desires to find a love match, but I can assure you that he is quite mistaken.”
She made to crumple the letter, but Constance, for whatever reason, found her hand stretching out for it again. Lady Yardley returned it to her with a slight frown, but Constance could not give her an explanation. Her eyes ran over the words again.
“He says here that love is nothing more than a fleeting sensation.” She read the letter again, relieved when no tears came to her eyes this time. “I am astonished that any gentleman should think that writing this particular letter would be of any use to me. Clearly, he desires to make me believe that love is not something worthwhile, that it is something not worth seeking.”
“Yes, I believe that is precisely what he intends.” Lady Yardley sighed and shook her head before picking up her tea again. “You must forget about that letter. It is worth nothing more than the heat it will bring you when it burns in the fire.” Smiling, she reached across to touch the five letters Constance had left out on the table before them. “Theseare what you should be considering. Set your thoughts upon the gentlemen you are to meet instead of the one you ought to ignore!”
Constance took a deep breath, set her shoulders, and smiled.
“Yes, you are quite right.”
As she looked at the letters again, each one professing her desire, she realized that her heart ought to be singing. Strangely, however, her thoughts turned again to Lord Seaton. It was as though he were desperate for her attention as if he were forcing himself into her mind and her thoughts, even though she did not want him there. More than a little confused, she took a deep breath and gave herself a slight shake, just as Lady Yardley smiled.
“I suppose the very first question I ought to ask you is, which gentleman do you wish to be introduced to first?”
Constance tugged her thoughts away from Lord Seaton with a great effort.
“I do not know. I am not acquainted with any of them, so I shall require introductions to them all.”
“Then why do we not begin at the first?” Lady Yardley gestured to the first letter. “And you must assure me that if your father brings to you another gentleman, or suggests another fellow whom he thinksmorethan suitable, you will tell me of it immediately.”
Seeing all that Lady Yardley was willing to do for her, Constance could not help but smile.
“I certainly shall, and I am so very grateful to you for all of your help in this matter.” Her gaze returned to the five letters. “I have hope now, and I must pray it will bring me what I have always longed for.”
Chapter Ten
As Adam stared across the room, he found himself weighted to the floor. He could not explain it, for it was not the first time that he had looked upon the young lady, but now that he saw her again, it was as though his entire being was somehow pulled towards her. At the same time, however, the desire to remain precisely where he was, almost in fear of what he now felt, grew strong.
Thus, he simply stood.
He had set his eyes upon this young lady many a time. To see her now laughing and smiling was precisely what he ought to expect, for that was what almost every other young lady in the ballroom was doing. He had seen her eyes before, had seen her smile, had held her in his arms. So why now should he find himself suddenly so transfixed?
“If you are going to gaze at a particular young lady, I should like to know her name.”
Lord Dennington’s broad grin and nudge had Adam wincing and he turned away sharply, suddenly freed.
“I am doing nothing of the sort.”
“Yes, you are. Why? Who were you looking at?”
Adam cleared his throat, hoping to change the topic of conversation.
