The way that Lady Elizabeth’s eyes seemed to find him, the smile lighting up her features when he approached, made Felix’s heart leap with happiness. It was foolishness to pretend that he had no affection for the lady or that he wasn’t becoming overwhelmed by her, for the thudding of his heart when he drew closer to her was something he could not ignore.
I do not deserve her attentions.
She was all sweetness, and he, a scoundrel. Lady Elizabeth did not know of his highwayman ways and, with that thought, his smile began to fade, his step slowing a little. Having decided to give up his escapades as a highwayman, could he still court her without telling her the truth? Even if he found a way to return her brooch, would it be enough?
And what if we marry?
His heart began to slow to a dull thud. Would he truly be so easily able to keep what he had done a secret from her for the rest of their days? He did not think that he could. Such a thought had not troubled him before, but now it began to come to the fore in his mind, and he grew all the more concerned. Courtship was the first step towards betrothal and from betrothal to marriage. They would be as close as two people could possibly be. Would it be right for him to keep such a thing from her? If he held a true affection for her as he claimed, then surely he had to be honest.
“At first, you seemed pleased to see me but as you approached, that smile fled from your face.” Lady Elizabeth tilted her head as her mother stopped a short distance away, allowing them a private conversation but keeping a careful eye on her daughter at the same time. “Are you quite well, Lord Winterbrook?”
“I am quite well.” He cleared his throat roughly. “It is only that I have had some thoughts of late and I am a little confused by them.”
Lady Elizabeth’s smile did not return.
“Might I be so bold as to ask what these thoughts are about?”
“They are not to do with my affection for you, if that is what concerns you, my dear Lady.” The way her smile returned told him that this was precisely what she had been worried about. “No, Lady Elizabeth, it is something more.” Taking a breath, he shook his head a little, uncertain as to what it was that he was going to say. The thoughts of matrimony, of his highwayman ways, of her brooch, and his affection for her ran all through his mind, tangling up his senses. “At the start of this London Season, I confess to you, I found it all to be rather dull. I was in something of a misery in fact, albeit until I met you.”
Pink came to her cheeks, her blue eyes alive as she smiled up at him.
“You are very charming indeed, Lord Winterbrook.”
“And yet I speak the truth.” Swallowing a lump in his throat, he turned and offered her his arm. “Might you walk with me?”
A great tumult arose in his mind as she accepted him. Did she have any awareness of just how her nearness affected him? A gentle scent of lavender wound around him – whether from her or the gardens, he did not know – but it only added to his confusion rather than allowing any sort of clarity.
“Are you quite well, Lord Winterbrook?”
“I ammorethan well.” Speaking rather more urgently than he had intended, Felix licked his lips. “Sometimes I fear there is more to my character – and my past – than you are aware of. I am considering whether or not to share such things with you.”
Lady Elizabeth smiled sweetly, seemingly entirely unperturbed by his remarks.
“I suggest, Lord Winterbrook, that if you wish to speak to me about something, then you do so, rather than allow it to weigh upon you so. However, people can change, and I am also aware that many gentlemen have, in the past, behaved differently than they do at present and, if it is so with you, then I do not think that you need share such things with me. In fact, I think it is wiser to keep such things to yourself. I do not want my present considerations of you to be at all affected.”
All the more confused within himself, Felix took a breath, not returning her smile.
“I see.”
“Unless it is something pressing heavily upon your conscience.” Her smile grew faint. “I should not urge you to refrain then.”
Felix was about to begin, only to shake his head. The words would not come, his heart refusing to permit him to speak freely. The fear of being torn from her, that she would step away from him, was much too great. It bound him to her and tied his mouth closed at the same time.
His breath came out in a sigh.
“It is nothing of great consequence,” he said, finally, with a smile that did not stretch as widely across his face as he had hoped. “I shall soon be sending out invitations to an evening soiree. I do hope that you will be able to attend?”
Lady Elizabeth squeezed his arm, seemingly relieved that the conversation had altered.
“But of course! I could not refuse such a wonderful invitation. I do not think that I have ever been to your townhouse as yet. I am already looking forward to it.”
“I will be very glad to show you my townhouse.” Pushing away his tumultuous thoughts, Felix fixed his mind on the upcoming soiree, rather than allowing himself to become lost in confusion. “It will be a fairly small soiree, but those who attend will know that we are courting. I hope that you do not mind such a thing?”
“No indeed!” Lady Elizabeth laughed, then tucked herself a little closer to him. “I am very glad to be seen on your arm.” She smiled just a little, her expression soft. “My heart is glad also.”
Felix let out a slow breath. The truth was, he was becoming more and more enamored of Lady Elizabeth with every moment that they spent together, and this moment was no exception. Her beautiful smile, her tender words, the softness of her lips, the warmth in her eyes… it was all he could do not to pull her into his arms. Gathering himself, he paused in their walk, turned, and grasping her hand with his fingers, lifted it to his lips. Lingering there for a little longer than required, Felix discovered that his heart was so full of affection for the lady, he could not even hope to find the words to express it.
“I find you utterly wonderful in every aspect,” he told her, seeing the flush which came into her cheeks. “You steal my breath from me.”
