Millshaw, Viscount Winterbrook, sighed heavily.
“It is all so very dull, is it not?”
His friend widened his eyes. The ball was in full flow and all around them, there was conversation and laughter – seemingly a perfectly excellent evening for any gentleman to enjoy.
“Good gracious, whatever is the matter, Winterbrook? Are you a little frustrated that Lady Perla has not come to speak with you?” Lord Bramwell’s lips curved a little. “Youareaware that, on occasion, you must remove yourself from your chair and go in search of the young lady of your interest, rather than waiting for her to come to you.”
“I am well aware of that.” Felix did not give in to Lord Bramwell’s gentle mocking, finding himself a little frustrated at his friend’s remarks. “The reason I remain in my chair is because I do not wish to speak with any young lady, and I certainly have no desire to dance.”
Lord Bramwell looked at him as though he had gone quite mad, his features creasing as he squinted.
“You do not wish to dance? Even though you are at a ball?”
“No.” Felix shrugged. “I do not wish to.”
“And whyever not? This is your third Season. Surely you must now be all too aware of what a gentleman can enjoy in the Season?”
Sighing, Felix shook his head.
“Alas, that may be so, but I am unfortunately disinclined to the idea of doing exactly the same thing, year upon year. I am becoming a little tired of it.”
His friend frowned, clearly having very little comprehension of what Felix was speaking about.
With a frown of his own, Felix tried again.
“It is all the same.” Felix held out one hand, gesturing to the ball going on around them. “It is all just as you see here. Every Season I come to London. I take part in the various balls, soirees, dinners, et cetera with the same smiles, the same welcomes, the same expectations… and I find myself becoming a little bored with it. There is nothing new. There is no real excitement. How can a gentleman find his Season to be of any joy when it is nothing but familiarity?”
Lord Bramwell’s mouth fell open, and Felix sighed and looked away. It was clear that his friend had very little understanding of what Felix was trying to say, and he was uncertain of whether he wished to make the effort to further explain himself. After all, he had been thinking about this for some time, and had chased after the usual pursuits – gambling, cards, and the like – and had found himself still filled with ennui in the face of it all.
“This is beyond my understanding.”
“That is because you do not see it, I think.” Searching for words, he tried to express the restlessness in his soul, the heaviness of his heart as he looked upon the same faces, felt the same anticipations, and found very little of interest in either. “You seek pleasure. You dance with many a young lady and tangle with some, while I grow weary of it all.”
“Then you must be thinking of matrimony, for surely marriage is the desire of every gentleman at some point in his life?”
Felix rolled his eyes.
“You sound like my dearest Mama. Yes, I am aware that there is a requirement to marry. I have been aware of it ever since I came into the title at so young an age, but I will not confess myself eager to do it. If I find society dull and staid, then will I not find my wife – whomever she may be – similar in every way? Every day of every year, she will remain the same and I shall drown in ennui. I shall find myself in an even worse situation than I am at present!” He shook his head. “No, there must be more to life than this, to simply having responsibilities throughout the year and in the Season, having a few moments of respite from them all. If I am to enjoy the same pleasures, in the same company, at the same events, as I do every year then no, my friend, I do not have the same enjoyment as you during this London Season. There is too much familiarity. There is no excitement in anything. There must be something more to this.”
Lord Bramwell shook his head, his fingers running over his jaw.
“You sound very strange indeed, my friend.”
“Then you do not understand.”
“No, I do not.” Lord Bramwell shrugged, then gestured to the ballroom. “When I look out at this, I see nothingbutexcitement. I do not find anything to be overly familiar. Indeed, I make certain that those I dance with have very little in common with those I have seen the previous Season. It takes a little effort, but I find even the effort itself to be worthwhile. Perhaps that is where you are lacking. Mayhap you are becoming a little lazy.”
He grinned but Felix did not smile. Yet again, Lord Bramwell showed an entire lack of clarity when it came to this. How could he explain something to someone who could not understand? And how could he do so when he was struggling to make sense of it himself?
“You speak of matrimony,” he said quickly, thinking to put the focus back upon his friend. “Does that mean thatyouare considering finding yourself a bride?”
He had thought his remark would make Lord Bramwell pull back from the conversation but, much to his astonishment, Lord Bramwell shrugged.
“Mayhap I am in a mind to do so. I find myself considering it, at the very least, and no, do not hide your surprise at my statement. I have no intention of hiding such a thing from you. You may very well find me courting this Season, with the intention of securing a bride.”
Felix blinked.
“Truly?”
