Lady Yardley smiled.
“Given your expression, I think that you were a little astonished yourself.”
Taking a breath, Deborah looked at Lady Yardley and decided to be truthful.
“Yes, I was. I had no intention of saying anything of the sort, and the next thing I knew, I had offered Lord Brookmire my help! I am not the sort of person to take back my word… and now, I confess, I find myself somewhat eager to help him.”
A flush of embarrassment crept over her skin, but Lady Yardley’s smile only softened.
“It is very kind of you to do so. I will confess that I do not think I have ever seen a gentleman so utterly perplexed and as dismayed as he was during our conversation.” Her smile faded. “It is somewhat distressing to see, but as I have said, I am hopeful that this experience will bring about a change in him. I do think Lord Brookmire has every hope of being an excellent gentleman if he just permitted himself to be so.”
Her embarrassment over her own honesty still growing, Deborah demanded silently that she continue to speak honestly, for the confusion lingering in her soul these last few days was almost continually in her thoughts, perplexing her gravely. Mayhap sharing it with Lady Yardley would help chase some of that confusion away.
“That may be so, Lady Yardley, and yet my own opinion of Lord Brookmire is still based entirely on what I have heard of him, and from our infrequent interactions.” She took a breath. “Which is all the more reason for me to remain entirely disinclined towards him, but yet I…”
Her gaze moved away from Lady Yardley, as she found herself struggling to speak honestly when looking directly at the lady. In the quiet moments that followed, Deborah’s thoughts turned again to Lord Brookmire, and she wondered again about her unexpected response to his nearness, recalling the uncertainty which had been in his expression, and the sentiments he had expressed thereafter when speaking with Lady Yardley. It was not as though she liked the gentleman, and certainly not as though she trusted his motivations, but all the same, despite her promise to her mother to avoid him in whatever way she could, she had offered to do the very opposite!
Her lips twisted, remembering how her body had flamed with a sudden and strange heat as he had taken her hand, over and over again, tying their fingers together at the last. How curious it was that she should desire such a thing again, even though she ought to be turning away from him at every opportunity!
“Is there something more to Lord Brookmire’s acquaintance with you?”
Lady Yardley interrupted Deborah’s thoughts, and she flinched at the sound of Lady Yardley’s voice. She had been so lost within herself that she had quite forgotten where she was. Looking at Lady Yardley, Deborah immediately trilled a laugh, but it was much too high-pitched and far too loud to be genuine, and from the smile which spread across Lady Yardley’s face, it was clear that she was aware of it.
“Is it that you have an interest in Lord Brookmire? I thought that you disliked him, and I was encouraging you in your avoidance of him.”
Deborah closed her eyes.
“I ought to be staying far from him and, until our conversation with him at the ball, I found myself utterly disinclined towards him.” Aware that heat was yet again searing through her, she closed her eyes and gave a small, broken laugh. “It is foolishness, is it not?”
“You need not say anything to me that you do not wish to.” Lady Yardley smiled gently, her hands clasped lightly in her lap. “I do not judge your feelings, Deborah. In truth, it is not unusual for a young lady to have a somewhat unexpected reaction to a gentleman’s nearness. It is all the more confusing if the gentleman is one whom you ought not to even consider!”
“Andwhen I am considering Lord Cleverley also!” Deborah flung out both hands and Lady Yardley’s eyebrows threw themselves towards her hairline. “Lord Cleverley is an excellent gentleman. He is amiable, good-natured, and well thought of through all of London society. When he asked me to take a walk in the park, I accepted him, and I did enjoy my time with him. Lord Cleverley is a pleasure to talk with, and we seem to share a great many interests. I think him quite delightful and certainly would be glad to be in his company in such a way again, I am sure.”
Silence flooded the room again and Deborah went to close her eyes, only to rise from her chair in a sudden pique, her hands clenching and unclenching as she made her way to the window.
“You must find it very disconcerting to be caught up with Lord Brookmire rather than with Lord Cleverley. I can imagine that having very few feelings for Lord Cleverley, a gentleman who is meant to be quite perfect for you and instead catching yourself responding most unexpectedly to Lord Brookmire must leave you somewhat troubled.” It was put so well by Lady Yardley that Deborah feared her feelings had been made known to the lady in some way. She turned quickly, only for Lady Yardley to laugh quietly and hold up both hands, her palms out. “No, indeed, my dear. I have no awareness of any specific feelings or emotions on your part. It is only that it is not entirely unexpected for such a thing to take place. Why do you think scoundrels and rogues are so easily able to catch as many ladies as they wish?” She shrugged both shoulders. “It is because ofwhothey are and what they do. That is not to say that you are drawn to him because of such a reputation but all the same, gentlemen such as Lord Brookmire are known as rogues and scoundrels because of how quickly and easily they are able to charm the ladies of society. Lord Brookmire is no different, although thus far you have not given in to anything which he has offered you.”
Frustrated, Deborah threw up her hands again.
“But I do not want to feel this way.” A flood of relief rushed through her as she began to speak of her heart to Lady Yardley. “When he took my hand, I felt such a heat that I could not find words to respond to what he was saying! It was both extraordinary and deeply concerning to me, for, when out walking with Lord Cleverley, I had placed my arm upon his but…” Her shoulders dropped. “I felt nothing of the same as I felt with Lord Brookmire.”
“And you are disappointed with that?”
Lady Yardley waited as Deborah considered her feelings.
“I am not certain whether I feel disappointed or confused by this whole matter.” Deborah let her hands rise for a moment, only to then drop them back to her sides. “I have always told myself that I did not necessarily need to fall in love with a gentleman immediately. I would spend time with him, yes, and if my feelings did not begin to grow, then we would simply remain acquaintances. I had been hoping that there would be more than one gentleman interested in my company but, as yet, only Lord Cleverley has shown any genuine interest. I have had other gentlemen call upon me, of course, but none of them have asked to take me to the park or for a ride in their phaeton, as he has.”
Much to her surprise, Lady Yardley let out a soft exclamation of surprise.
“Oh, my dear girl, it is early enough in the Season for that! Lord Cleverley has perhaps been a little eager in his attempts to woo you. Yes, he has called upon other young ladies, I am sure, but he has, from what I know, only askedyouto take a walk with him. However,” she continued, her smile now gentling. “If you do not feel anything for him, then that is quite acceptable. You need not demand any feelings from yourself as regards Lord Cleverley.”
Closing her eyes, Deborah let out a sigh.
“And what should I do about Lord Brookmire?”
Before Lady Yardley could answer, however, a tap came at the door. Lady Yardley held up one hand to Deborah, asking her to wait for a moment as she called to the butler to enter. Deborah was glad to do so, relieved that none of Lady Yardley’s staff would overhear their continued conversation about Lord Brookmire. Servants whispered, and Deborah did not want anyone to know that she had perplexing surges of emotion when it came to Lord Brookmire!
“My lady, Lord Brookmire has come to call upon you. He stated that it was rather urgent.”
