“Then you will have to consider whether or not you are willing to tie yourself to a gentleman who will have very little fortune for the rest of his days.”
“Pah!”
The word exploded out of her mouth and her cousin lifted both eyebrows in surprise, looking at her.
“There is no consideration needed,” Emma explained, her eyes suddenly wide, her fingers tightening together as she expressed her vehemence without hesitation. “You do not need to convince me of whether or not Lord Thornbridge is worth my time. Whether he has no fortune, whether he has a very little fortune or a very great fortune, I ammorethan willing to tie myself to him for the rest of my days, if he should offer me that.”
“And what if he makes it plain that your days with him will require much compromise? Much loss of comfort, of security? That there may be a great deal of worry and concern which fills almost every single one of your days together.”
Emma tossed her head, her resilience blooming.
“It does not matter to me. I accept the possibility of such things without hesitation.”
She shifted a little uncomfortably in her chair, well aware that a life without the many comforts she enjoyed at present would take a good deal of getting used to and, indeed, could cause her much difficulty, but regardless, she found herself willing to face it all the same. What she had found and what she now shared with Lord Thornbridge was worth it all.
“The change to your life would be significant, however,” her cousin said softly. “He does have some fortune, I suppose, but certainly nowhere near enough. You would have to scrimp and save on almost everything, make economies where you could, and live a very different life to the one you have at present.”
“I am well aware of that, and yet that is something I am still willing to do.” Taking a deep breath, she spread her hands. “Let me be honest with you, Diane. I have come to care for Lord Thornbridge in a manner that I did not expect. We have spoken of it before – you suggested that I might be in love with Lord Thornbridge and, at the time, I did not want to believe you. I did not even let myself think of it, but now, I find that my heart has seized hold of everything I feel for Lord Thornbridge, and has doubled it so that it fills every part of me.”
Diane laughed softly.
“That is not at all surprising.” Her eyes twinkled. “As you have said, you recall thatIwas the one who spoke to you about this at the very first. I said to you that, if there was something in your heart for Lord Thornbridge, something severe, something that would not be removed, then it was almost your duty to pursue it. And that is what you have done, and I am glad of it.”
“It is a most astonishing awareness,” Emma murmured, shaking her head as she looked away from her cousin, out of the drawing-room window. “I speak of affection, but it is more than a mere awareness of him, a smile on my lips when I see him, a gladdening of my heart when I am in his company. It is adesperation.” Nodding, Diane gestured for her to continue and, after a breath, Emma went on. “I feel foolish to express it so, but that is precisely what it is: a desperation to be near him, to be as close to him as one could possibly be. And the pain which comes when I must separate myself from him is extraordinary. I catch my breath every time he smiles at me. My heart sings as though it has never laid eyes on him before. All in all, I find myself quite overwhelmed.”
“My dear cousin, all you are doing is describing the situation of a young woman in love with her particular gentleman. I am, of course, very glad for you and, as I told you before, I am certain that Lord Thornbridge returns your feelings, although he may not have expressed them as yet.”
Emma smiled back at her cousin.
“I had always considered love to come within matrimony only, that, in time, it would appear for one’s husband – but only if one were lucky.”
Her cousin laughed.
“As you know, I believe I fell in love with my dear Lord Fullerton from the very moment I laid eyes on him. Love can come upon oneself within only a few days, weeks or even hours. Everything you are describing is precisely how I once felt with Lord Fullerton and certainly, things have changed a little, but it has settled into a more deep, more satisfying, more long-lasting love that will never depart from us. Of that, I am sure.”
Emma blinked rapidly, not quite certain that she was contented with the idea of being in love with Lord Thornbridge. It seemed so very strange in so many ways, and yet it would not leave her. The great depths of feeling that washed over her, which pulled her from one side to the other whenever she so much as eventhoughtof him, was most astonishing – and sent a nervousness flooding through her as she thought of telling Lord Thornbridge the truth of her heart.
“Everything seems a little more significant. This evening has a deeper gravity.”
“I am certain that it does.” Her cousin tipped her head. “But let us pray that he will have success. It is good that Lord Warrington was keen to accept the invitation.”
A sudden idea caught Emma’s mind, and her breath snatched away as she stared at her cousin.
“Do you think that he knows?”
“Lord Warrington? No, I am certain that he knows nothing, else he would not have accepted the invitation.”
“No, that is not what I mean.” A little confused, her cousin merely looked at her. “Do you think that Lord Thornbridge knows how I feel? That my feelings are so significant?”
The frown on Lady Fullerton’s face was replaced with a smile.
“It may be that he does. But is such a thing so terrible? I am quite certain that what you feel for Lord Thornbridge is returned.”
“Returned.” Blinking quickly, Emma’s breath seemed to tighten in her chest. “When I come to tell him of my heart, he may say the same to me.”
“Yes. There is every chance. I said to you before that I thought he held a strong affection for you. Why should that affection not now have grown to love?”
This concept flooded Emma’s heart with such great joy that she could not seem to breathe. It was as if everything stopped, as if everything had come to a sudden halt, freezing in place around her as she looked back at Diane, seeing how gently her cousin smiled. And then she blinked, and the world seemed to begin again, although it was a little brighter now, as if the sun had come out and shone all around it.
