“You do not bear any further responsibility. You are not the one who forced us there. We all chose to make our way into what now appears to be the very jaws of a lion.”
“But you will not speak of what happened to you?” Lord Stoneleigh asked as James shook his head. “I am aware that you must feel a great deal of shame, but we all do. We are here eager to help you rather than hinder you. Do you not trust us?”
James let out a slow breath before covering his eyes with one hand.
“Of course I trust you. It is only that I find this situation a little humiliating, and I am not certain that I can speak of it to anyone. You all had your fortunes taken from you during a game - gambling of some kind, whereas I found myself in a very different situation.”
“But I am sure you will be able to recover what you have lost. We have proven that it is possible thus far, have we not?” Lord Wiltsham said encouragingly. “I am certain that you will be able to find yourself in the same position as we are at present, where your fortune is regained, and your shame is gone completely. You will not have to pay this debt. There will be a way to prevent it, I am sure.”
“That is where we differ,” James returned. “I signed that vowel. Isignedit, in the belief that I was required to do so as payment for… what might have taken place. I did not ask for the lady’s company and certainly do not recall receiving it, but payment was demanded nonetheless.” Glancing up, he saw his friends exchange a glance and scowled darkly. Sighing heavily, James passed one hand over his eyes, resigned to the fact that he was going to have to be truthful. Thus far, he had kept the entirety of the situation to himself, agreeing with his friends only that he had lost his fortune. “I shall be truthful,” he muttered, even though his mind immediately began screaming at him, demanding that he stay silent rather than reveal his mortification.
“Please, speak freely. We have no desire to shame you.”
James nodded.
“I am assured of your lack of judgment of me, whatever I may have to tell. I know that. It is only that I am so very ashamed that I find it difficult to even speak honestly about what seems to have taken place.” His two friends nodded solemnly but said nothing, waiting for him to explain. Closing his eyes and with shame burning in his face, James began. “Yes, I attended the same gambling den as you. I recall going into the place, I recall seeing you all standing there laughing. I remember going to pick up a brandy or some such thing from the counter. Thereafter, I remember very little.”
Lord Wiltsham scowled.
“That is because there was something placed within our brandies. It rendered us half senseless, I believe.”
“I am certain it was done to make us more amenable to our fortunes being stolen,” Lord Stoneleigh added. “Obviously, none of us would have put up our fortunes without a fight.” He gestured to his shoulder, then winced. “I obviously must have put up something of a struggle, even though I do not recall doing so.”
“And how is your injury?” James asked, only for Lord Stoneleigh to wave a hand.
“I am quite well. Pray continue.”
James nodded, aware that he had been trying to change the course of the discussion. Taking in a deep breath, he sat back in his chair.
“When I came to myself, I was not in the gambling den, nor was I alone. There was a young woman present, who demanded that I pay her for the services I had received.” Catching the slight lift of Lord Stoneleigh’s eyebrows, James dropped his head. “You know that I am not a gentleman inclined towards such things. I am sure, in fact, that I have spoken to you about my determination not to behave in the way my father did. That is why I am all the more ashamed to say that I woke up in the presence of a young lady of the night. She stated that I was required to pay her for what had occurred. I protested and said that I did not recall anything which had happened, but my excuses meant nothing. She told me that I had no other choice but to give her what was owed.”
“And that is when you signed your fortune away.”
“That is when I signed what I believed was only a vowel for a minimal amount,” James admitted. “It was dark. I could barely see anything. I did not believe that it was my fortune I was giving her. The paper had already been made up and is quite legal, unfortunately.”
Lord Wiltsham shook his head.
“You were obviously chosen specifically, as you are known to be a gentleman of great wealth.”
James nodded.
“The young woman was quite insistent. There was a genuine fear in her voice when she spoke to me and despite my protests, I knew that I could do nothing. It was not as though I could claim that she was mistaken in requesting this of me.”
“Why not?”
Squeezing his eyes closed, James blew out a long breath putting his head in his hands.
“Because I was without my clothes. There was a sheet, yes, but that was all.”
Silence crossed the room, spreading from himself towards his friends. Mortified, James kept his head low, unable to look at any of them. They knew the promise he had made to himself to not be anything like his father. They would think poorly of him now.
“You must have been in a very desperate situation.” Lord Wiltsham did not sound as though he were criticizing in the least. “They would not have given your things back unless you signed this vowel, I expect.”
“Yes, that is so.” James sighed and rubbed one hand over his face before lifting his gaze. “You cannot imagine my shame. Everything I had believed about my character was gone in a moment. I realized that I was not the person I thought myself to be. It is only now that I find myself at the end of this situation that I wonder whether or not such a thing was done deliberately.”
“Yes, of course it was!” Lord Wiltsham spread his hands, balancing his elbows on his knees. “I am not suggesting that those responsible knew anything about your own particular vow, but certainly they would have used your embarrassment and mortification for their own dark intentions. They would have made certain that you were made to feel as lowly as possible. They would have wanted to injure you, my friend. They used your mortification and shame to force your hand.”
James allowed himself a small breath.
