“I have felt such guilt for so many days,” she murmured, half to herself and half to her sister, “but now that I am free of it, it is as though I have stepped forward into the light when, for so many weeks, I have hidden in shadow. I often stood at this window, wondering just how much condemnation would be on my soul for what I had done, doing all that I could to keep the truth of my actions from you, and feeling the burden all the heavier as I did so. Now, however, that burden is no longer present, and I am all the better for it.” Taking a breath, she turned back to her sister. “In much the same way as I have found my own freedoms, I would also seek to encourage you with yours. Yes, Lord Bickens behaved inappropriately and yes, you were encouraged to step into his embrace when you knew you ought not to do so, but surely, as you have seen for yourself, he is a gentleman who is well able to encourage the affections and interest ofanyyoung lady. I can easily see why any young woman would be taken in by him. You must surely see that also.” Offering Mary a smile, she waited until her sister began to nod slowly, although there was still a slight glassiness in her eyes. “He was cruelty itself, Mary, and all that has been revealed now. Lord Bickens’ nature and true character have been seen by many. There is nothing that need burden your soul any longer. Do not permit it to do so. It will only weigh you down.”
“Thank you, Tara.” Mary smiled, but there was a slight glistening in her eyes which betrayed her ongoing upset. “It may sound very foolish indeed, but in coming upon Miss Attison and Lord Bickens, I saw myself in a way that I had never seen me before, and in many ways, I found my heart pained over what I had done.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is that I am broken-hearted about how my actions affected you. It was always unfair that the requirement was set uponyourshoulders to be my chaperone,” Mary replied quietly. “You felt such distress about my foolish actions. You desired to protect me, reminded me repeatedly what was expected of me, and, in the end, did a good deal more than ever should have been required of you.”
“But I was glad to do it,” Tara protested weakly. “You are my sister. You have always had the bigger share of beauty, of charm, and I promise you, I have never been envious of that. It was only right to my mind that I should treat you with as much care as our mother would have done, had she still been here. Given that our father cared so little for either of us, I felt it my duty, and I have not been upset nor found myself restricted in doing it. I have been eager in my desire for you to find a suitable match, Mary. I am aware that such circumstances are a little out of the ordinary but given that I am in my third Season, it has always seemed right for me to step into that place. I truly mean it when I say that I have been very glad indeed to do it.”
Mary rose from her seat, coming across to Tara and putting her arms around her, embracing her. Tears burned in Tara’s eyes, but they were not of sorrow. Instead, they were of gratitude and relief that she was once more joined with her sister in perfect contentment.
“I do not think that you will be able to continue as my chaperone, however.” Mary replied as Tara lifted her eyebrows in surprise, pulling back from their embrace.
“Whatever do you mean? I have every intention of doing so.”
Mary laughed, wiping her eyes with her other hand at the same time.
“You cannot be my chaperone if you are making preparations for your own wedding!”
Tara’s cheeks flushed hot. When Lord Bickens had been making a mockery of them all, she had found herself speaking to him and to Lord Pottinger with a boldness that had never been a part of her before. Three days later, however, Lord Pottinger had still not spoken to her of it, to the point that Tara was now beginning to doubt that his proposal and her acceptance of it had been genuine. Perhaps it has merely been a ploy to unsettle Lord. Bickens – a ploy which had worked, nonetheless.
“Your smile has faded.” Tilting her head, Mary studied Tara as Tara herself fought the urge to turn her head away. “Something is the matter. What is it?” Tara shrugged, fearful that she would appear foolish if she told her sister the truth. “After everything that we have shared and endured together, you can speak to me of this,” Mary encouraged her gently. “I will not laugh at nor mock you, and I am certain Lord Pottinger has not ended your close acquaintance, else you would not appear as happy as you are at present.”
“No, nothing of the sort!” Tara spoke quickly. “It is only that - and this is where I believe I may be being a little foolish - he has not spoken of our betrothal these last three days, nor has he spoken to Father as yet.”
“But you have barely seen him?” Mary merely pointed out. “He has been caught up with his solicitors and his vowel, as well as returning to the bawdy house in search of witnesses, has he not?”
“Yes, he has. His suggestion to Lord Bickens that he would be willing to pay a good deal more to have the truth spoken by those present at the house appears to have been a legitimate one. He has briefly told me that his solicitors now feel almost entirely confident that, the vowel can be disputed successfully, given how ruined Lord Bickens’ reputation is. I am certain that with these witnesses, he will be able to prove that he was tricked into signing that particular vowel, should it come to it. It may take a little time, but I do not think he will ever have to face poverty, for which I am very relieved. I think it would have been a great hardship for him.”
“A hardship for you both.” Mary shook her head then smiled at Tara. “I am very glad for you both. I would encourage you also not to have any great fear. I cannot tell you of my joy when Lord Pottinger asked for your hand – and your description of it was the most beautiful future. When you finished speaking of that, Lord Pottinger’s eyes were alight, as though the most wonderful idea had been offered to him. I am certain that the only reason he has not spoken to you of it is simply because of the present circumstances which require so many things to be done, taking so much of his time. These matters must be very weighty indeed, and I am certain that he will come to you in time. I highly doubt that Lord Pottinger even suspects you have any doubts of this kind!”
Tara breathed out slowly before drawing in some deeper breaths, trying to release the tension which filled her. Her sister was correct; there was nothing for her to be concerned about, and to have such doubts was entirely foolish. All that was required of her at present was to trust that everything Lord Pottinger had said was genuine, and came from his heart – just as everythingshehad said had been.
“You have reassured me,” she told her sister, managing a small smile, “but that does not mean that I cannot continue to be your chaperone until I am wed, at least. Perhaps I will be able to arrange my marriage for after the Season - or as near to the very end as I can manage. Father will do very little for you otherwise.”
“Or mayhap your absence will force him to do as he ought,” her sister remarked, one eyebrow lifting gently. “Do not hold back your own happiness for my sake. You have done more than enough of that already. I should like you to be free from any sort of burden now, Tara. You will have only happiness, for happiness is all that you deserve.”
* * *
“I cannot tellyou how glad I was to receive your note. I am only sorry that it has taken me so long to spend more than a few brief minutes in your company,” Lord Pottinger replied. “I have had a great deal of difficulty these last few days, but I am very glad to say that all has now been resolved.”
Hope flared in Tara’s chest.
“You mean to say, then, that you have no concern as regards your future, nor your wealth?”
“No, I do not. That vowel has been completely canceled, and the burden of debt taken away. My solicitors have been able to prove that Lord Bickens had treated me unfairly and tricked me into that particular debt. Given his reputation, it did not take much convincing in the end, I believe.”
Relief flooded through Tara and, for a moment, she closed her eyes, pausing in their walk together.
“I am so very glad to hear that news. I know how much of a struggle it would have been for you to have lost your fortune.”
“I believe it certainly would have been difficult, but to have you by my side, I am sure would have made all the difference,” Lord Pottinger murmured, glancing at her with eyes so bright that she wanted to simply stare up at him for as long as he would permit her, such was the intensity of his gaze.
“It was whatyousaid that made me realize just how much I did not need my fortune to be contented. Your closeness has been a great blessing and comfort to me, and it is because of you that I now see just how much I have gained through this dark experience.”
“I feel the same way,” Tara murmured as Lord Pottinger smiled at her. “It has been difficult, certainly, but how much things have changed between us now! I recall stepping into the ballroom and seeing you for the very first time. My heart turned over and I found myself unable to draw my eyes away from you. It was only when I learned who you were that I knew I could no longer consider you, nor my feelings in that regard. My emotions refused to leave me, however, even though I did all that I could to force them from myself. There has been a great deal of instability and confusion, has there not? But now that we are at this place, at this juncture together, I find myself almost glad of it all.”
“You speak just as I feel.” Lord Pottinger reached to press her fingers with his as her hand remained tucked into his arm and Tara could not forget the way that his lips had touched hers, albeit briefly, the night of the masquerade ball. It had been the crescendo to an extraordinary evening and had brought her such an overwhelming sense of joy that she had been unable to forget it ever since: that flair of surprise, the curling warmth of delight and astonishment that rose up within her again as she remembered how his arms had slid around her waist, how he had held her close and how she had felt such comfort - a comfort that she hoped would continue for the rest of her days, should Lord Pottinger still wish to marry her. “I still remember the first time I saw you also.” Lord Pottinger’s voice had softened a little, becoming quieter as she looked up at him, the wind brushing aside some blonde curls from her forehead as her bonnet kept her face hidden from the sun. “I was certain that we had met somewhere before, but there was more to my consideration than that. I can see that now. There was a desire for your presence that simply would not leave me. I found myself wondering about you that night when I returned home from the ball, and in the days thereafter. I also quickly realized that my consideration of you was something I had never felt before and I can safely say that such a feeling has continued until this moment. I suspect that it shall continue till the end of my days.”
