“That does not matter,” her friend stated quietly. “Sometimes it isbecauseyou do not know him particularly well that your interest begins to grow. I am well aware that there is a curiosity within you about the lives of those around you – and, if I may be a little bold, an inclination towards gossip. But I have never seen you this way with anyone before. You are interested, yes, but you are also concerned. You are thinking of him when you know you ought not to be, and you are confused as to your present feelings. And upon seeing him, rather than go eagerly to talk with him, you find yourself strangely uncertain. Is that not how you feel? You know that you need not hide anything from me. You can speak honestly.”
Sara let out a long, slow breath, pressing her lips together and uncertain as to what to say in answer to her friend’s delicate questions.
“If I am to confess anything, it is that I am greatly confused.”
“Then I shall not say anything more.” Her friend squeezed her hand gently, then released her. “I do think that you should speak to Lord Stoneleigh this evening, however. If you return home without having said a single word to him, you will find yourself quite irritated and angry that you did not take the opportunity, given that you have been thinking about him for so long.”
“I have just wondered where he has been.” Sara’s voice was a little softer as she spoke, her shoulders dropping gently. “It was very strange to be in society without seeing a single sign of him. I was worried that he had gone back to his estate.”
“And that would have been of concern to you?”
Sara answered without thinking.
“Yes, it would have been.”
“And why would that be?” Miss Cartwright held up both hands, shaking her head suddenly. “Forgive me. I said a moment ago I would not say anything else and here I am now questioning you over your continued consideration of the gentleman.”
Sara tried to laugh, but the sound was anxious and high pitched.
“No, you are right. I cannot explain the strange nervousness upon seeing him, but I believe you are correct. Itwouldbe foolish to return home, having never had the opportunity to speak with him, for that is truly what I desire.”
“Look, his friends are departing. Now is your opportunity. Your mother will be able to see you – there is no issue of propriety.” Miss Cartwright gave her a gentle push towards Lord Stoneleigh. “Just make certain that you do not ask him too many questions!”
Stumbling slightly, Sara found herself walking forward. Her eyes were fixed on Lord Stoneleigh. Although she could not look into his eyes. When he glanced toward her, it took him a second look before he realized that she was approaching. Her heart suddenly turned over, worried that he would turn about and leave before she had the chance to speak with him. Perhaps she had irritated him enough for a lifetime and he no longer had any patience to speak of.
His jaw flexed as he turned towards her, no longer able to escape now that he knew she had seen him.
“Good evening, Lady Sara.” His bow was short and swift. “I do hope that you are enjoying the ball this evening?”
Licking her lips, she nodded. For some reason, her mouth had turned a little dry and her mind refused to give her anything by which she could make conversation. The warning from her friend rang in her mind and she closed her eyes, briefly turning her head away.
“We have not spoken since…”
“If you are come to ask whether or not I will be telling anyone of your sudden appearance in the East End then I can assure you that I will not. I have no intention of doing so.”
“No, that is not what I meant. That is not why I came to speak with you. I was only trying…”
Why do I find it so hard to speak openly with him?
A little frustrated with herself, she rubbed her eyes. Perhaps it had been a mistake to come and speak with him when she had very little idea what it was that she wanted to say, other than to ask him where he had been for the last sennight.
“Are you quite alright, Lady Sara?”
A little surprised at the concern in his voice, Sara lifted her head.
“Yes, Lord Stoneleigh, I am quite well. It is only that my friend reminded me that I must not speak in the manner I might have wished to.” Seeing his flickering frown, she shook her head again, a gentle buzzing in her ears. She was sounding all the more confused. “What I mean to say that I am inclined towards questions, and I am doing my utmost not to ask you anything.”
A sudden, broad smile stretched across Lord Stoneleigh’s face. It was so startling, in fact, that Sara caught her breath, surprised at the flurry of sparks that suddenly ran through her veins, setting her whole body alight.
“I suppose I should be grateful for your consideration in this matter, although I can see that it is painful to you to have to suffer so.” A wide grin was directed toward her, and Sara could not help but laugh, a little nervous as she did so. It was not like her to be so vulnerable with a new acquaintance, and yet she had spoken honestly with Lord Stoneleigh. “What is it that you wish to ask me?”
His smile lingered, and Sara felt a blush rise as heat into her face.
“Something that is not at all my business,” she replied as he chuckled.
“I do not think that whether it is your business or not would stop you from asking such questions. Lady Sara.” Even though he spoke lightly, a sense of guilt ran through her, and she recoiled a little, thinking to immediately flee. But, stepping forward, Lord Stoneleigh grasped her hand, seemingly eager to make amends. “Forgive me, that was a little harshly spoken. It was not intended to be.”
Sara shook her head, her flush all the hotter.
