The confidence and courage which had been in Julia’s soul quickly faded, crumpling away into nothing. Her brother’s demands were entirely unfair. He could not expect her to find a husband within a fortnight. Surely that was not the done thing, and would raise many an eyebrow should she find herself in such a position. Thetonwould take note of her haste, and wonder why she was doing such a thing.
Perhaps I can use such reasons to my advantage.
“Thetonwill note such eagerness, brother. They might suggest that –”
“I care not for your excuses!”
“It is not excuses, brother.” Rising from her chair, Julia took a step towards him, seeing his eyebrows dropping lower still. The last few years had proven to her that her brother was not particularly fond of her, but she had not thought that he disliked her as much as this! “Our family name will be stained if you demand such a thing of me. There will be whispers long after I am wed, which may well cause you difficulty with finding your own match when the time comes.”
She wanted to rail at him, to state that it was unfair of him to demand such a thing of her when he was unwed, but carefully held herself back. There is no need to antagonize him still further.
Viscount Kingston folded his arms across his chest, his eyebrows falling still lower over his eyes until all she could see was darkness in his face. Something within her trembled, but she did not back away, resolved not to do as he said. Instead, she kept her chin lifted and her eyes steady, refusing to be cowed.
“Again, you give me excuses, Julia.”
“I give you no such thing. I speak the truth. I am not the only young lady in London who did not wed after their first Season. There will be many of us here for our second Season. Why do you place such demands on me? They are most unfair. Even a month would be a difficult request, but it would be better than a fortnight.”
Her brother refused to give her any explanation whatsoever.
“I shall find you a husband, one way or the other, Julia. You have a fortnight.”
“I shall not wed whoever it is you choose for me.”
She was aware that she was speaking foolishly now, but her resolve to disabuse her brother of any notion of control was strong and forced her tongue into action.
Viscount Kingston chuckled, low and dark.
“I think you forget, sister, that I am the one who holds the purse strings. I shall have order in this family. I shall have decorum and I shall have a sister who is wed and settled so that she can no longer be a constant burden on my daily life, on my time, and on my finances.” Julia reared back, horrified by her brother’s sudden vehemence. She had always known that he was a selfish creature, but she had never thought, nor heard it, to such an extent as this. Her chest grew tight and painful, her breathing difficult. “You shall wed, Julia. I will make sure of it.” The only thing she could do was shake her head in refusal. “Yes, you shall.”
Struggling to find her voice, Julia forced her gaze up towards her brother.
“I will not marry whoever you choose for me. I do not care how suitable you may think they are, I willnothave my choice made for me. You may force me to the altar, but I shall never say the words which will tie me to a gentleman for the rest of my life. Not unlessIcan choose the gentleman.”
Her brother laughed, shaking his head.
“Do you truly believe that you have any control here? Julia, what shall you do, if you do not wed? Do you have any resources of your own which would permit you to do such a thing?” His words mocked her, and Julia’s skin prickled, her heart beginning to pound. This was not at all what she had expected. “Either you will wed, or you will become a spinster and I shall send you to someone who can make more use of you than I can.” Julia shook her head, mute. There was nothing she could say. “I shall give you a month, as you have so demanded, but only out of the kindness of my heart. Otherwise, my dear sister, you will find yourself in church with the gentleman whom I select, and then you will have a choice to make. Either you will marry him, and thereby find a life of comfort and all that is good, or you will choose to become a spinster with no money, no good standing, and no future. The choice shall be yours.”
Without another word, he strode from the room, leaving Julia breathless with shock and fear as she sank into her chair. Yes, her brother had become much more irritable these last few years, but she had never expected him to demand such a thing as this of her.
I have only a month.
The thought was a terrifying one. How could she have so little time in which she must find herself a suitable gentleman, else face the wrath of her brother? Would he really be as cruel as to force her into spinsterhood? Her stomach twisted as she acknowledged that yes, he would do so. Evidently, she had been a burden upon him for too long. She had known nothing of this, not until this very moment, but it now seemed that her brother had no wish to keep her in his company any longer. He did not wish to pay for her gowns, for her pin money, or for the fripperies that she rarely enjoyed. It appeared that her brother wanted only to consider himself.
“What am I to do?”
Murmuring to herself, Julia rose from her seat and made her way across the room. The London Season had not been particularly enjoyable thus far, but that was mostly due to the fact that she had very little time for the London gentlemen who cared nothing for her and sought only her dowry. She sought a husband who would show an interest in her company, who wished to hear what she had to say, and who had a kind character. All too aware that such a thing was a rarity for any gentleman in London, Julia squeezed her eyes closed and fought despair. She was stronger than this, was she not? Yes, her brother had demanded it, and in doing so, had astonished her entirely, but when had she ever done as her brother asked? That was one of the reasons for his irritation. To her mind, he was not her father, and thus could not make the same demands as a father might.
And father would have been a good deal more considerate, I am sure.
A single tear slipped onto her cheek as she looked down at the London street. There was very little here that brought her any sense of happiness. Yes, there was pleasant company, but she had struggled to find any particular friendship with any young lady from the previous Season. The young ladies were much too eager to discuss dresses and the latest fashion, which Julia did not find of interest, and gentlemen, on the whole, had no desire to hear what a young lady such herself had to say. A dreadful fear suddenly took hold of her, squeezing her breath from her lungs. What if she could find no particular man to be her husband? If thetonwas as difficult as all that, then surely the chance of her finding a gentleman whom she considered truly respectable and kind would be nigh on impossible!
Then I shall be a spinster.
Her bottom lip wobbled a little as she drew in a deep breath, telling herself that she was not about to give in to tears.
“Spinsterhood cannot be so terrible a situation, I am sure.”
Her confident words did nothing to ease the pain in her heart. Try as she might, she could not pretend that being a spinster was anything more than a dreadful prospect. She would have no happiness. No doubt she would be required to find a situation where she might be able to support herself one way or the other, but quite how she was to go about that, Julia did not know. She had no skills with which to do such a thing as that, and if her brother were to find the situation for her, then Julia had every belief that it would not be a pleasant one. He would do whatever he could to punish her for not doing as he had demanded of her, in finding a husband.
