“She left…” Thelma tore herself away from the chair, intending to head to the staircase to give Robbie some space. Instead, she wandered toward the living room, where Fiddles slowly blinked his eyes open from near the fireplace. Thelma couldn’t give him attention, though. “She got in her car one night and drove off into the night, never to be seen again.”
Robbie took a moment to reply. “That’s right.”
Yet he didn’t sound so sure, did he?
“What do you remember about that night?” Thelma asked. “You were very young. Barely eight, weren’t you? Second grade.”
He stomped toward the back door, but like Thelma, he couldn’t bring himself to completely extract himself from the situation. “Guess I was sick.”
“That’s right. You weren’t feeling well. You told your parents you didn’t want to go to school that morning.” Thelma closed her eyes, transporting herself back to that well-lit morning with Wonder Bread and mayonnaise. Her hands knew how to deftly maneuver the kitchen and its supplies. Everything wasknownto her. She had complete control and authority over that house.Even her husband, who technically paid for everything, joked that he was the prince to her queenship.Anything that changed in that house was run by me.Heck, Thelma probably purchased something and told Bill to install it himself if she couldn’t do it.
Vintage green and yellow Fiestaware.
Formica furniture.
Collared shirts tucked into trousers.
Model airplanes and Howdy Doody puppets.
The Price is Rightwith Bill Cullen.
One little pocket in my dress.
Garter belts and squared bras.
Cucumber sandwiches. Iced tea.
“You weren’t feeling well and asked if you could stay home,” she continued in one heavy breath. “I told you no, because I thought you were faking it. When you came home later that day with a fever and those empty eyes, I felt so terrible. I should have let you stay home. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well!” He opened and shut the door just as quickly, but was still in the house. “Doesn’t matter! I lived to be at least seventy. Lived long enough to get that damned prostate cancer! Did better than Dad! Bastard croaked before sixty!”
Thelma didn’t respond to Fiddles’s mew as he hopped up onto Robbie’s armchair, making it slightly rock against her hip. “That’s not the point, Rob,” she said. “I should have been there for you. In the grand scheme of things, missing a day of school to watch TV and play with your toys is nothing. We could have watchedThe Price is Righttogether. You would have liked the cucumber sandwiches I made for lunch that day. You could have…” She almost regretted saying this. “When Sandy came over, you could have asked her all your questions about writing and books. You always did love your books, Robbie. Remember yourHardy Boyscollection?”
There was that callous demeanor again. “Mary threw them out. Told me I was too old for them. Put them in the same recycling bag as Debbie’sNancy Drews. You know what else she put in the garbage?”
Thelma already knew the answer. “What?”
“Your smut we found in your stupid hope chest.” He didn’t give Thelma a chance to defend herself—not that there was anything to say. “Speaking of Sandy! Why would I want to ever talk to the woman you cheated on Dad with? She always accused him of killing you, you know!”
“But you didn’t believe that, did you?”
“How could he have done it? I was with him that night!”
“That must’ve been awful. To watch your father go through all of that with the police, the neighbors… oh, those people could be so judgmental.”
“And you weren’t there!”
“No…” Thelma approached, keeping a respectful distance between them, despite her maternal heart begging her to throw her arms around the grown man who was still her baby boy.Wrapped up in a blanket while staring at the television.“I wasn’t. I went out to the store, because I…”
She realized her fists shook at her side. Her throat choked on the truth that had been begging to come out for months.
The reason I went out that night.
“I went out because—”
Robbie filled in a blank that he had also kept close to his heart for far longer than Thelma had been alive. “Because you couldn’t take it anymore!”
Those were not the words Thelma struggled to convey. If anything, she was more shocked by that observation than by his tone.
