“Thank you. I do love kids, you know. I’ve even done story time at the library a couple of times! The director thinks I might have a “permanent” Wednesday afternoon position soon.
“Awesome. Yeah, they really take to you. I have no idea what that’s like.”
“What can I say? I’ve always got on with children.”
“Including your own?” Gretchen almost immediately reclaimed those words. “I mean!”
“No, it’s fine.” She said that, yet inside she combusted to think what it would have been like to bring her children to something like this. Robbie was a master trick-or-treater, and Debbie had just been old enough to join her big brother for the first time in 1958.I was already thinking about their costumes in the spring…Browsing patterns in the shop. Chatting with Irene about what was practical and what was wishful thinking. Comparing notes with the other mothers on Hemlock Street so nobody would be dressed the same.We put on a show every year…It was Robbie’s favorite holiday after Christmas. Knowing that they could have done something like this with church friends the weekend before Halloween would have only added to the memories. “I think part of the reason I wanted to do this so badly is because I can’t be with my kids this year. Or, maybe…” She didn’t finish the thought.Ever again.
“Sorry to bring it up.”
“It really is fine. I’ve been thinking about them all night.” Especially when she saw a girl in a fairy costume or a kid dressed as a cowboy. “My son lovedGunsmokeand all Westerns…”
“Uh…Gunsmoke?You mean that really old show?”
Thelma slightly bristled. “Yes. The really old show.”
“To be fair, you don’t get a lot of Westerns these days.”
“Suppose that’s true.”
“Doesn’t Robert love Westerns?”
“He does. Big Zane Grey fan. He’s basically in charge of that section at the library. You should see him talking to patrons about his favorites and sending them out the door with a bag full of old, torn-up Westerns! It was the biggest hit outside ofRomance at the library sale this summer!” Thelma laughed. “It was the happiest I had seen him since I got here. Now, if he would just fix his posture when talking to people… honestly, does he have to slouch and crouch like that all the time? He’s notthattall. His father was taller and never slouched!”
“Uh…”
Thelma knew thatUhso well by now that she used it as her cue to know she was getting too deep into her old identity. “I’m going by the pictures I’ve seen. My grandfather, you know. William Van der Graaf.” She sighed. “Yes. My grandfather.” She peered at Gretchen. “Did you know that’s Robbie’s middle name?”
“I’m one step closer to stealing his identity. Thanks.”
They ran out of candy before the end of the night. So did their neighbors, leading to the decision to pack up their trunks and shut down their corner of the lot. Gretchen helped lock things up and ensure that nothing had gotten away from the car before she suggested that they take a walk around the grounds.“This is a date, after all.”Thelma couldn’t argue with that.
She informed Pastor Liz that they would be taking a break before coming back to help finish up the event. Once they had the leader’s blessing, Thelma and Gretchen stole along the side of the church, careful not to trip over the brickwork as they found a dark tree-lined path leading from the back door to the children’s play area that was abandoned this late in the evening.
She took Gretchen’s hand as they ambled along the path.Thank God she can’t see how anxious I am.For all Thelma knew, Gretchen was nervous as well. Things had happened between their first date and now.A whole season, for one thing.Thelma had become more confident in this strange new era. More independent. Things she thought she had before, living back in 1958.Time travel really makes you realize how much you can’t control in your life.
She glanced at Gretchen as they entered a small grove of trees.A grove. More like three trees clustered together with an oak, making it look bigger than it is.What would Gretchen think of Thelma being a time traveler? Would she believe it? The tales people told in group often included the FBI getting involved. Marrying a time traveler was a big deal, after all. The new spouse was taking on legal and sometimes financial responsibility for the chrononaut. The FBI wanted to know who those people were and what they intended to do with their newly learned information.
Wouldn’t that be a burden to put on someone?Someone like Gretchen, who had been through enough in her life already?
“It was very sweet of you to come out tonight.” Thelma stood in front of Gretchen, holding both of her hands.She’s only a little taller than me.Although Thelma couldn’t see the details of Gretchen’s face, she vaguely knew where everything was.Eyes. Nose. Mouth.She had inspected each quite thoroughly by now… although it had been a while. “I know you’re not religious. Honestly, I’m not sure if I really am, either. But this congregation has been very welcoming of me and…”
“You don’t have to explain.” Gretchen squeezed both of Thelma’s hands. “It sounds like you grew up in a church. Maybe that kind of thing doesn’t really go away.”
“No, suppose not. But it’s important to me that faith and reality intertwine. I don’t think I could be part of a church that doesn’t recognize who I really am anymore. Back in my old life…” She squeezed those hands back. “I didn’t have much of a choice. I had to carve out my own meaning within the confines of what everyone else did. I didn’t even think about it!” A breeze picked up, chilling Thelma’s cheeks while her hands remained gripped within Gretchen’s.She has such fine calluses.Wasn’t it funny that the woman she was falling for in the future had rougher hands than Bill ever did? “It was just how I did it. How Iraised my children. Who I’ll…” She had to face it. On this night, right here, with someone who didn’t know the whole story. “Whom I’ll never see again. Not as they were.”
“Don’t say that. I’m sure you can see your kids again. What do you have to do to make that happen? Is it a lawyer? Hey, we’re doing a project right now for some bigshot lawyer in Calabasas. He’s gotta know someone who can help you get your kids back.”
Thelma shook her head. “One day, I’ll tell you the whole story. But the important thing is that my children are gone, Gretch.” She deeply inhaled, keeping the tears at bay. I’ll never see my son crack a baseball, but also… well, I’ll never have to see him go off to war.” Robbie had gone off to college to put off being drafted into the Vietnam War, but his number came up as soon as he graduated. According to the service records Thelma found in the attic, he only served a few months before being medically discharged. She never found out more details. “And I’ll never be at my daughter’s wedding, but I also don’t have to see her struggles with infertility.”
“That’s… specific, man.”
“I know most of the things I say sound strange and like they’re from another time.” Thelma sniffed. “Please be patient with me. I’m often overwhelmed. Even right now. I’ll be having the time of my life one moment, learning everything I can… then I just crash. My therapist says I might be biting off more than I can chew right now, but what else is there to do? I have to embrace this life I’m thrust into. My husband’s gone. Sandy’s gone… my children…”
“You’ve been through a lot, Thel.”
“Yes. I wouldn’t even know where to begin telling you all of it.”
