I think it just finally hit me.
I’m officiallynota psycho stalker anymore.
And we’re about to walk intoourapartment.
CHAPTER 30
The Mortician
Public service announcement.
If you ever feel trusting enough to let somebody close to you choose a mystery tattoo that you’re not allowed to see until finished…trustyourselfmore. My anxiety is through the roof, my hip is on fire, my artist won’t stop giggling under his breath, and the position of my neck, I fear, is as permanent as whatever this idiot just branded on me. He’s in the chair down the hall and I’ve heard him exhibitingverypussy-bitch sounds for the past two hours. I shot off my latest snark, smiling when I heard his phone ding a short distance away.
Me: Is this what I have to look forward to when you get your first man cold?
Apparently, that’s an incurable thing that starts when you’re in an actual relationship. Hasn’t happened yet, but I’m likely gonna hurt his tender feelings when it does.
Ping.
Asshat: Is your brave silence what I have to look forward to when we get old and you decide me cock isn’t that up to snuff? ;)
I rolled my eyes.
Me: If you still have one after I find out what Tim over here keeps smiling about.
“Is she peeking?!” Malek yelled down the hall. Tim grinned, smacking his gum and digging into my skin with the shading needle.
“Nope. She’s a good girl.” Those dots never moved so fast. I’m trying my hardest not to laugh.
Asshat: You might wanna spill the secret of who I was a few months ago before I nail him to the wall…
My lips rolled in, and I tightened my mouth, fighting back this obnoxious burst with everything I had.
Me: Now, now…be a good boy and I’ll let you nail ME…AGAINST a wall.
A minute later, I got a five-second video of Malek flicking that tongue between two of his tattooed fingers.Well played, prick.
This is our‘we made it a full month in the same apartment without killing each other’celebratory gift. Don’t ask me how he was able to talk me into it. I blame the stupid dimple. It’s actually been perfect these last few weeks. We stay for dinner a lot at Mom and Dad’s. Emmy has decided that she’s marrying Malek, and I’m just the fucking buffer until she actuallydoesget boobs. Bridget and Declan visit more often than Malek likes, but it’s my only time to embrace girlhood, and honestly…I didn’t realize I needed it this much. The three words that used to be so hard for me to say, are as easy as breathing now.
Because I fucking mean it. As grotesque as the idea is.
We tainted every inch of that dark little apartment. We still disagree on the lyrics to our favorite song. He still gets a damn milkshake every other day. Still pulls my chair out at every meal—including the date I finally let him take me on. He paid. Last week, Mom actually changed the menu, just so I had a chance to see my Irishman in her frilly pink apron, teaching herto cook authentic‘across the pond’food. I didn’t know life could be this full. I didn’t notice that I let every word anybody ever said to me steal the joy that I thought I was embracing. I’ve been wrong. And I’ll never be sorry for taking a shady side gig on the Dark Web.
“Alright. We’re done. Hold still, I want a picture of this one.” Tim took it, covering it with a paper towel and walking me to Malek’s chair where Leanne was cleaning him up. I bit my lip, grinning at the sight of it down his spine.God, it’s fucking perfect.
“Ready, Viper?” Malek asked, stretching as he stood up.
“I don’t know how to answer that question. You might handle this better than me.”
“Understatement,” Tim smacked, leaning against the doorway. “Bro-code suggests I give the man a five-minute head start for the door.”
“Oh, fuck…” I pinched the bridge of my nose.
Malek curled around my back, reaching both arms around me and waddled us over to the full-length mirror, smiling like a demon. “Count of…seven?”
“Turn around, stupid.” He slid over, turning his back to the mirror and Leanne gave him a handheld one to look at it.
“Holy shit…” His eyes boggled. A casino-style ‘7’ with a bloody mop struck through it…and a black snake curled around the handle. “Seven Grey…this isoutstanding.”
