My eyes darted this way and that, boggling a bit, but he couldn’t see it. “Probly the machine. I put a little too much fluid in it earlier. It’ll wear off.” I inwardly cringed when I heard him take his spot on the table I just got ravaged on a couple hoursago. It was all I could do to bite back my smile. He’d absolutely shit if he knew.
“So, um…I might be married. Have two kids. Mags might work crazy hours, and the flame is a little dim? But I do remember what sex smells like, Pipsqueak.” I almost dropped this entire bottle of nail polish in Mrs. Porter’s lap. I closed it up, setting it next to her and turned around to put on my best confused face.
“Thanks for that very unwelcome mental image, Greg. Also…I have no fucking idea what you’re—”
“Before you finish that sentence, you should know…your shirt’s buttoned up wrong.”
Somebody just shoot me. Right in the face. Bury me with my friend here. Anything.
I glanced down, seeing he was absolutely right, and shoved both sides of my lab coat closed, crossing my arms over it and narrowing my eyes at him. “Can we not?”
His smile went from ear to ear. “Holy shit, I’m right. You had aguyin here? Oh, you just wait ‘til Mom hears about this.”
“Greg, I swear to God, I’ll hide your body where nobody can find it.” He hopped off the table.
“Oh, mygahhh. Is that why you screamed earlier? This is too good.”
“Know what’s better? You just sat in the exact spot it happened.” My turn to laugh. And laugh Idid, while my brother turned around, gagging at the table and trying to wiggle out every germ on his body around the basement. “Serves you right. Keep your trap shut and don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.”
“I think I’m gonna ralph.”
“Good. What did you need?”
He finally got his shit together and parked his hands on his hips like a complete dad. “I came to tell you not to dress heryet. Her casket got delivered about an hour ago and it’s got the burnished handles. It’s not what we ordered, so they’re fixing it.”
I threw my arms out. “Are you serious? Her viewing is tomorrow. It’s gonna take at least a full day to reset and deliver.”
“I know. We’ll have to use the house rentals for crematory viewings and do it at no charge. They won’t be happy about it, but at least she’ll have the right one for the burial. She’s gonna have to go back in the fridge tonight, though. Is that gonna be an issue with the makeup?”
I sighed, shaking my head. “Shouldn’t be. I haven’t done her facial makeup yet. Just covered the mottling. I’ll order her an arrangement from Tony’s from all of us. Something pink. Maybe that’ll help soften the blow.”
An awkward silence passed between us and Greg glanced over at the body…then at me. “You didn’t…do it while she was…”
“Would you getout?”
He gagged again, running from me when I tried to smack him in the arm. The second man I’ve chased out of this basement today. The door shut and I turned to the little table to grab my phone and pull my playlist back up. There was a message I missed a while ago.
Asshat: This doesn’t taste anywhere near as good as you do. ;)
There his smug ass sat, sipping on a strawberry milkshake next to a ‘closed’ sign at Desiree’s. That traitorous little snipe let him in? She has neveroncedone that for me!
Me: I hope you choke on that.
I shuffled my music and let it take me through all my cleanup, which took a little over an hour, and by the time I finally secured Mrs. Porter in refrigeration, I was dog tired. I know the real reason why, but I refuse to think about it again until I haveto. Which, if he’s made it back to the apartment, would be in the next little while. I have no idea how I’m gonna play this off in front of Bridget like everything on that table didn’t happen. Things weren’t weird afterwards either. It was like settling right back into our normal back and forth like he didn’t just eat my pussy inside out. Maybe it’ll still be that way later…God willing.
I shut everything down and went upstairs at exactly five. It’s Monday. I can smell rosemary and thyme. Roasted chicken tonight. I checked my phone before heading into the lion’s den and immediately wished I hadn’t. Another photo. Another thing I’m gonna have to pretend I’m not thinking about when I walk into this damn room.
Asshat: I hope you choke on this later.
That is one beautiful fucking cock.
So much for having my shit together without a single pair of underwear to help mask the obvious. I’m skipping dinner. I yelled my goodbyes and walked out before I had no choice but to face hot oil, the rack…or the guillotine.
I made it about two steps from my car before my name got called.
Fuck me.
I startled, turning to see Maggie shutting her driver’s side door and smiling at me. I can’t remember the last time I actually got to see her longer than a passing ‘hey’, or ‘bye’.
